Balistik Blabber: Draft Review

Good day and welcome to the 3^rd edition of “Balistik Blabber”! I would like to thank all who left their comments including the guy who said it was boring, over-written and told me to get a life but hides under a pseudonym of “STFU”.  Good for you man! The mere fact you left a comment means you actually read the whole thing anyway~ I toast to your anonymity! Back to the show! Today we are going to talk about the possible implications of the recent draft choices in this year’s World Wrestling Entertainment Draft.

            Before I start with my analysis and opinions, let’s take a look at the recent developments of the draft:

1)         Rey Mysterio gets drafted to RAW

2)         Jeff Hardy is transferred to SMACKDOWN!

3)         CM Punk gets moved to RAW (a lot of you have been clamoring for this one)

4)         Matt Hardy is thrown into ECW

5)         Jim Ross is pushed into SMACKDOWN!

6)         Michael Cole is escorted to RAW

7)         Batista gets booted to RAW

8)         Umaga earns a plane ticket to SMACKDOWN!

9)         Kane is set to return to RAW

10)       Mr. Kennedy is sent packing to SMACKDOWN!

11)       Triple H is handed over to SMACKDOWN!

             So what do these mean for the WWE? I’ll list down my thoughts on each change with respect to the previous list (WARNING: these are MY opinions and predictions, they ARE NOT CONFIRMED but I hope some of them turn out like I said they would):

1)         Lucha Libre action returns to RAW! He still has Batista as a possible tag partner but he also has Paul London and Brian Kendrick to consider for alliances.  Whether it’s a cruiserweight or “David VS Goliath” match and whoever he contends with, he won’t run short of excellent matches here.  He also might get a push thanks to Kane which I will elaborate later.

2)         Jeff Hardy almost gets reunited with Matt but luckily, that won’t happen.  Sure, watching them together is fun and entertaining (usually with both of them getting beat the hell up), but the best way for them to develop further is without each other for the moment.  His current problem will be having both Edge AND Triple H as competition for the top spot, something that has eluded him for the longest time.

3)         CM Punk is now a part of a bigger show.  Let’s hope that they will let him use more of his original ECW moves.  The chances of us seeing the Pepsi Plunge may be low but now that Triple H isn’t on RAW anymore, perhaps… just perhaps we will see it again.  “Go To Sleep” is fine Punk, just don’t suddenly bust out a “Busaiku Knee” or what little respect for you I have will completely vanish… To any CM Punk marks or smarks who don’t understand what I am getting at, go do a Wiki search for “KENTA” and don’t get me started on who copied what from who!

4)         This is kind of weird… Matt Hardy finally has the United States Title he’s been after for so long but is moved to Extreme Championship Wrestling and now the belt is exclusive to that brand.  I don’t feel that that title goes well with the show even if it has considerably been reduced to a non-hardcore wrestling program.  There’s sure to be a lot of competition for Matt but can he stay US Champ for long with Big Daddy V, Morrison and Chavo Guerrero around? Oh yeah, don’t forget Chavo also has the “Familia” behind him to manipulate things to his advantage.

5)         The voice of RAW is once again the voice of SMACKDOWN! It’s a given wherever Ross is, the crowd is sure to be fired up! Definitely a huge loss for RAW and a big boost for SMACKDOWN! BAH GAWD RAW HAS BEEN BUSTED IN HALF!!!

6)         The only thing that amuses me is how Jerry “The King” Lawler will treat Cole when he finally settles into RAW.  Another issue to think about is that Cole was the main commentator in SMACKDOWN!.. Does this mean Lawler is still gonna play second fiddle? “Nay!” I say! Give Lawler props! Let him be the main voice of RAW for once!

7)         Instead of any sort of rekindled rivalry between “The Game” and “The Animal”, we might see him tango once again with Randy Orton with the whole thing about Randy not respecting him during and after the Evolution days.  Add in Shawn Michaels, if he ever returns at all, and you’ve got a big, boiling pot of mayhem! In the meantime, Batista will have to deal with the likes of JBL and Kane for brutal, big man bouts.

8)         ABRUGAAAAAAH SAMOAAAAA!!!! As one of the most successful returning wrestlers to WWE, Umaga has had a lot come his way even winning the World Heavyweight Title.  That was as high as it went though as he has recently been plagued with loss after loss.  To make matters worse both Triple H and Jeff Hardy (two of his most prominent opponents) are joining him in the move to SMACKDOWN!! It’s going to be hard to be a main-eventer unless the higher ups let him Samoan Spike both his former RAW costars as well as Edge! Oh yeah, he can also pair up with Mark Henry and wreck havoc on the tag team division! Imagine: “The Samoan Bulldozer” and “The Silverback”, together for the first time!

9)         “The Big Red Machine” comes home to red, red RAW and STILL HAS THE ECW BELT! If they put him in matches with Rey Mysterio, it will not only become another “David VS Goliath” style match but it will be appropriate since Rey used to compete in the old ECW! I predict that if this match up does push through, he might suffer a big loss to the speedy luchador.

10)       After getting a beating from Paul Birchill (“You got Regal fired! Paul SMASH!!!”) almost a month ago (C-4!!!) MISTEEEEEEEERRRRR KEEENAAAAADAAAAAY will be unable to continue that possible fued as he is sent packing to SMACKDOWN!! Once again, he will suffer either from underuse or to the fact that he has to contend with over 4 guys for the spotlight.  I think they should pair him up with MVP into an arrogant tag team to beat up The Miz and John Morrison to finally get the WWE Tag Team titles back home to SMACKDOWN!! Whoa, that’s a lot of heels in one pile of whup ass! Me likey!

11)       Then in a crazy turn of events, you have “The King of Kings” drafted into SMACKDOWN!! As if didn’t have enough problems with The Undertaker before, now he has Hunter in his playing field and will most probably end up as prey! It says in a pre-draft stipulation that the WWE Championship is now a SMACKDOWN! exclusive title but they have yet to mention anything about the World Heavyweight Title… this can only lead to one thing… UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Oooh yeeeah, we’re finally going to get one after what?.. ten years?! Think of the possibilities! They can build it up towards and after “Night of Champions”! It does not matter who wins it as long as the “title position” is revived! Of course I would definitely like to see Triple H as “Undisputed Champ” once again to accentuate his “King of Kings” gimmick but it would also suit Edge since he’s on fire after cheating the stuffings out of The Phenom and is sure to give “La Familia” lots of heat from the crowd… oh lord, I think I just did a nasty pun there~

            Overall, I feel that the draft has created an imbalance between the three shows with too much superstars in SMACKDOWN! and STILL too little main-eventers in ECW… The biggest problem is that ECW still has only one title belt and it’s not even in its namesake! They can have Kane relinquish the belt but that would kill my idea of making Rey its holder.  Maybe they should resurrect another old title, either the ECW “Television Champion” or ECW “FTW Heavyweight Champion” titles.  If you don’t know what the “FTW” stands for, let’s just say it DOES NOT stand for “For The Win” and I’m not going to type what it really means here due to censorship rules.  Look it up yourself in Wikipedia – IT KNOWS EVERYTHING!

            RAW will survive with the changes and has the potential to be even better after Orton comes back and perhaps Shawn Michaels if and/or when he returns.  A lot of people are saying Chris Jericho should be drafted to SMACKDOWN! to help push him but I say he’s better where he is now since a lot of competition just got sent there.  If he can fend off John Bradshaw Layfield from taking his Intercontinental Title and still compete with the other big guys like Batista and even lesser prominent guys like Snitsky, his chances to get back into the main event will be higher than when Triple H was still there. Come on Jericho! Show us that “Lion Heart”!.. but I still find the “Codebreaker” a pretty awkward finisher… “Front Backracker” comes to mind…

            That’s all for now, I hope you enjoyed reading this as I did typing it and as usual you can leave your comments, suggestions, unproven accusations about my lifestyle and death threats below.  Thanks for reading "Balistik Blabber", Akira Kagami signing off!

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