Banker's Banquet

Note from Editor: This is an old article which was written just a week or so after Fatal 4 Way.

Hello one and all, I am The Banker. Some of you know me as Big Black/Blue Dan but who actually cares? That’s right nobody does... Today I am writing an article to express my opinions about a WWE that has changed over the past few years. Us people call it The PG ERA! Welcome to... The Banker’s Banquet starring your guest host and your writer... THE BANKER!

Ever since WCW was demolished the WWE has slowly regained a PG rating for television audiences. Many have argued about this issue but if you think about this who are you rather going to want as an audience, 100 million kids or 21 million adults? I think I would choose the 100 million kids if I was Vince. But this does mean us lovers of the “old” ECW and the WWF as it was called back then suffer because of this. But does our tiny voice actually matter? No, does the voice of 78 million John Cena fans matter? HELL YES! “WE WANT OLD ECW BACK!!”  Vince:  No that will NEVER happen (unless TNA get ratings) “WE WANT REY FACE JOHN CENA!” Vince: “I shall sort it within the hour” John Cena fans win by KO! 

Whose idea was it to replace ECW with NXT??? NXT is enjoyable at times but come on! The only good bit about it is The Miz. He cuts an AWESOME promo, he has that face you want to punch over and over again; but if you did you would be ejected from the arena and wouldn’t be allowed back in EVER again. NXT is good for developing new talents but people like Daniel Bryan (or Bryan Danielson) deserve to be put on to the top brand; it’s a shame that Bryan is gone I liked him. The thing NXT lacks is actually wrestling air time; they spend 35 minutes doing one challenge and 3 minutes for each match with 10 minutes worth of commercial!  

With the new season of NXT now here I don’t like one thing: Why is Mr Perfect’s son called Michael Mcgillicutty? That is probably the most RANDOM name you could give a wrestler! Why not call him something different but what relates back to his family heritage... WWE Creative fail seriously. From what I have seen of the second it looks alright but maybe not as good as ECW but hey, they’re both different products are they not?  One is making people jobber stars such as Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne, the other is upcoming stars face each other. You may not think it is much of a difference but... It is a little bit of a difference. I mean we don’t see Chavo jobber to Hornswoggle now do we? I thought not!

In this second season we see the first ever divas become a mentor, this is not so good for their rookie though, as it is LayCool and also he’ll never get to compete in a tag match because of it being two divas. Another fail from the WWE Creative, if they keep this up we might be in double figure by the end of this article! Getting away from the second season I will try and predict how the 1^st NXT superstars’ future will be like in the WWE (excluding Bryan Danielson).

Wade Barrett: Good run for him but after his first title run ends he might become a mid carder in the near future and maybe be in the run for the US title or the Intercontinental title.

Justin Gabriel: He’ll never get a serious push in the future he’ll only ever be a mid carder wrestler because he has no mic skills. He’ll only ever be known as “that guy with a good finisher” just like Evan Bourne.

Carrot top I mean Heath Slater: Slater is a bit confusing for me because he has a good charismatic attitude but no mic skills; I think he will be mid carder but maybe a push in a few years time.

David Otunga: I see bright things for David. He has a cocky attitude with a good all round build. He is the next Jack Swagger in my opinion but only he will get a push earlier than Jack Swagger did.

Skip Sheffield: I also don’t know if Skip will get a push because he has the power but he has average mic skills, he may be lowered down and may jobber at times to other NXT rookies.

Michael Tarver: He has a crappy gimmick but works it well, he has decent mic skills and may receive a push in the future but I would not bet any money on that. It is a shame we did not see his knockout punch because it is “the same as the Big Show’s KO punch” well... that sucks, although Big Show can deliver a hell of a punch! The punch to Jericho I think was on Smackdown after his last match was epic; it actually LOOKED and maybe was REAL!  Real punching: 1 WWE: 4000000 Aw it’s a shame that they don’t do it more often! But then comes in the PG Law that you shall not dare punch a person otherwise you’ll end up unemployed like Daniel Bryan for harming a tie and spitting in Cena’s face! I guess it is time to move onto another subject instead of carrying on with this one. The next subject is: *drumroll*...

Some WWE employees have said that they do not wish to work with Drew. I wish to know the ACTUAL reason why they don’t want to work with him! I think Drew is EPIC on the mic, he has brilliant acting skills! I don’t think that he takes it too far; that is what a heel is supposed to do! Drew has average wrestling skills but makes it up for being very good on the mic! It seems Matt Hardy received a “warning” from Vince probably because of his actions. I don’t know if that is true or not, it could be something to do with the storyline because Vince is “disliking” Hardy’s attitude towards Vince but hey we don’t know!  

I watched SD this week and laughed at Drew VS Teddy, it made me smile; especially when a person in the crowed said “NOOOOO!” when Teddy put BOTH his knees down!  Teddeh, put both of ya kneez downh! DO IT or you willeh starveh! *skips to end of segment* Well I would have liked to have seen Teddy get butterfly DDT’d to hell but nah out comes Kofi and Matt who both DOALN FIAL harder than anything and both get DDT’d instead! Well we still got to see Matt get owned by the fake DDT master!

Time to move onto another subject about the current WWE... *drum rolls*...

Now I was seriously giving the creative team thumbs up for this idea, but I gave it thumbs down after Daniel Bryan was released from the WWE because of it. This ambush was still epic though and I could watch it at LEAST 5 times because of how I loved watching John Cena getting beaten up along with everybody else.  What a good way to kick off a good invasion storyline, beat up John Cena and everybody except for the crowd! Why not at least do a 450 splash on Cena with him lying on a table. Oh I remember now we will all end up getting fired like Danielson! Please WWE bring him back to the squared fake circle he’s probably the best technical wrestler since Chris Benoit!

This ambush was quite well rehearsed though; I don’t think anyone made a mistake in that unless you say that Daniel Bryan made a mistake by making somebody choke on a tie and spitting in John Cena’s face, then I guess it was all well rehearsed by the whole cast involved.

Ok I guess this will be the last subject I will be covering before I say goodbye to you loyal viewers... The topic is *drum roll plays again*

Hallelujah Bret Hart has finally gone from the WWE for a while! I HATED seeing him as the “GM” of RAW, he only shows up once a week only to announce the main event and that is about it! Hopefully that is him done with wrestling FOREVER! His match at WM26 was a complete joke, the only good thing I like to see is him getting beaten up by the NXT rookies and his leg get shunted by a car door! Yeah Bret I don’t care about you, now go get your leg “hit” by a car door again!

Well Fatal 4 way certainly changed WWE a little bit. Firstly, I hated the fact Rey Mysterio won the title. He is a joke, a 5 foot gremlin that can’t talk on the mic and has a rubbish finisher! Jack should have retained, he has all the makings of a great champion; all round build, good on mic and good as a heel but NO WWE have decided to give the title to Rey so he won’t leave for vacation! WWE has done it again please kill me now!

Sheamus won the title! Thank God he did, I can’t STAND JOHN CENA! Everybody can now see John Cena title less yay! Sheamus is another good heel with decent mic skills he did well at WM and has done it again!

Drew lost as we all knew he would because Kofi has just got it a month ago.

Nobody cares about the divas match.

The Hart Dynasty won against the Uso’s or something like that, I think the Hart Dynasty are a good tag, they have a mixture of strength and the aerial type.

Evan Bourne defeated Jericho which I found quite entertaining because Evan Bourne is quite... Well he is quite unpredictable at times but a valiant effort from these men put on a decent show.

Finally The Miz defeated R-Truth for US title, he retained also because he just got the title but The Miz is just... AAAAAAAWEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOME! That is all I have to say on that matter.

Well that is all I have to say today. Thank you for reading this article; I hope you enjoyed your feast. But for now I am The Banker and you have just been served.

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