Big Time With Bic C: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love John Cena

John Cena takes a lot of heat from fans, especially older fans.  I used to be one of them.  But recently I saw the light.  I changed my ways, and Hallelujah, I’m a Cena fan!  And this is why:

 John Cena shines like something shiny on the Mic:  There is no one in the WWE right now even remotely close to Cena’s ability on the microphone.  Yes, CM Punk cuts great promos.  Yes, Ziggler is great and Ryder is funny in an awkward, ADHD way.  None of these guys can compare to what John Cena can do with the mic.  He’s so good that fans have forgotten just how good he is and take it for granted.  Take a step back and listen to him some time and you’ll hear what I hear.

What makes his promos superior is that Cena has legit acting chops (though his movies are pretty mediocre).  He can cover a range of emotions.  He can deliver a cheesy, uplifting speech and make it sound earnest.  If wrestling was only about promos, he would be the undisputed champion and could jump around like Daniel Bryan and go “Yes!!   Yes!!  I’m the champion of Promos in the WWE!!” . 

Cena Works Hard for the Money (so you better treat him right):  Unlike some fan favorites who only show up for big ppvs or disappear for years at a time to do movies, Cena is there every single night putting on the best show that he can.  The only time that you don’t see him on the show is when he is off doing a charity event or a make-a-wish visit.  Cena gives so much of himself to the WWE fans, especially the kids.  He spearheads the B.A. STAR campaign, and believe it or not, when Cena speaks, students listen.

Just as important, and unlike a certain Smackdown headliner,  Cena does not cause trouble backstage.  He has never defecated in a Diva’s gym bag, he has never been suspended for his behavior, and he has never gotten Mr. Kennedy fired (I think you all know who I’m talking about here).

Cena Could Be Much Worse in the Ring:  I am not going to lie to you and say that Cena is a good in-ring worker.  I find his matches to be boring.  But I’ve been watching a bunch on YouTube for this article, and it is hard to point out exactly what is wrong.  He doesn’t sell moves well, but neither does Alberto Del Rio and a bunch of other wrestlers.  They can’t all sell like Ziggler.  Yes, his moves are predictable and have no variety, but again, so do a lot of wrestlers.  Hogan made a Hall of Fame career out of predictability. 

What I’m trying to say is, Cena may be awful in the ring, but there are a lot of wrestlers that are worse, so there’s enough criticism to go around.

So stop hating on Cena, people.  He’s not going to go away, and he does a lot more for the WWE than you realize.  You don’t have to like the man, but you damn sure have to respect him.    

Question:  What did you think of the Royal Rumble?

            Usually I don’t order the PPVs because they are so expensive and I am poor.  I made an exception this time.  I love the Rumble, I always have.  It’s such a unique match, and they usually bring out a bunch of old school guys for it, which an old school guy like me loves.

            I was very satisfied with the Rumble this year.  I thought that the championship matches were both well done, if predictable.  The Cena/Kane match was dull, but the storyline that goes with it is pretty compelling.  And the battle royal match was great.  I was expecting Jericho to win, but the WWE pulled a swerve at the last minute and gave it to Sheamus.  Very good move by Creative.

            And how awesome was it to see Hacksaw Jim Duggan come down that ramp?  I love me some hacksaw, and he did not disappoint.  He got in, made a lot of noise, and got himself thrown out.  That’s exactly what I want from a Legend in a Rumble match.  As for the Road Dogg  . . . I’m glad that he can still find work.  Maybe he should look for something in used car sales . . . Just sayin’.

Question:  What do you think of Brodus Clay?

            I can’t tell you how much I like this gimmick.  Fans always complain that current wrestling “isn’t as good as the Attitude Era” wah, wah, wah.  Well listen.  What the Attitude Era had that the modern era doesn’t is humor.  Stone Cold was funny.  The Rock was funny.  Mick Foley?  Funny!  DX?  Val Venis?  The Godfather?  Sexual Chocolate?  They were all funny.  Yes, they were edgy, but humor doesn’t have to be edgy to be good.

            These same people who complain are the very first ones to moan when the WWE brings out a funny character.  Which way do you want it, fans?  Think of all the silliness that went on during the Attitude Era.  Big Show/Big Boss Man.  Too Cool.  The Ho Train.  The Six Second Pose.  Kurt Angle attacking the ring with a Milk Truck.  You can’t have attitude without humor.

            I noticed that they are slowly letting Clay add a move or two to his set per match.  Eventually he will be good enough that they will let him drop the Funkasaurus gimmick.  In the meantime, Get down, Funkasaurus, get down!

            All right, that’s another installment of Big Time with Big C.  I hoped that you liked it, but if you didn’t, I’m not going to lose much sleep over it.  I have more important things to lose sleep over, like puppies or the next episode of Glee.  Remember friends: If you gotta go, go Big.

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Another thing I particularly like about Cena is that he's willing to put over so many heels. People complain about him never losing cleanly but it's a heel's job to lose in a cheap way. And he's willing to take major bumps whether it's getting chokeslammed into a light by Big Show or beaten down by Kane. He's willing to put his body on the line for a good show.

   Posted by Brian Stryker on Tuesday, February 07, 2012

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