Big Time With Big C: Wannabees?

Welcome to another episode of Big Time With Big C.  I’m your host, Big C (also known as "Magic Matt Malone" in TWG), so called because I am big and my name starts with C.  See what I did there?  I am clever.

            Jericho finally gave a real promo on Raw Monday night, and while it wasn’t his best promo ever, he touched on some things that I have noticed lately.  Since me and Jericho share thoughts through the Palantir, I suppose that he noticed them too. 

Jericho is an innovator in a land of wannabees.  A little more than a decade ago, Y2J came to the WWE.  He was already huge in WCW, but underused.  He had too much talent to waste on that sinking ship of muscleheads, morons, and David Arquette.  Y2J was a new type of wrestler in the WWE.  He was a high flying light-heavyweight that could destroy on the mic and go toe to toe with the big boys.  He was one of a kind.

            Of course, he wasn’t one of a kind.  He was the new incarnation of Shawn Michaels.  Michaels “retired” a year or so earlier, and they needed a new one. 

            I’m not saying that Jericho is a rip off of Shawn Michaels any more than I am saying that Abyss is a rip off of Mankind or Sheamus is a rip off of Fit Finlay.  That would be ridiculous and any writer who says something like that is just doing it for shock effect.

            What I am saying is that there are certain archetypes in pro wrestling that promoters like to have filled.  For example:  The Monster Heel (Gorilla Monsoon, Andre the Giant, Kamala, King Kong Bundy, The Undertaker, Kane, etc.).  Then there’s the Pretty Boy (Gorgeous George, Brutus Beefcake, Rick Martel, Rick Rude, Edge & Christian, Dolph Ziggler).  Don’t forget the Dancing Fat Guy (Rikishi, The Godfather, Brodus Clay) or the Super Rich Guy (Ted Dibiase, JBL, Jinder Mahal, HHH). 

There’s no shame in filling these roles, and a good wrestler can make it his own.  But he can’t say that he is a complete original either.  Everyone that ever brought a guitar to the ring owes a debt to the Honky Tonk Man.  Anyone that ever played a ‘special’ wrestler owes a debt to George ‘the animal’ Steele.  We all build ourselves on the backs of the broken.

Something that I have noticed, and something that bothers me very much, is stealing moves.  This is something that you just don’t do, especially to the main eventers.  I feel like stealing a move is like plagiarism.  In Ancient Greece, they used to kill you for plagiarism.  The least they can do here is kick your ass some.

The worst culprit is (big surprise) Randy Orton.  How do you get away with stealing the goddamn Stone Cold Stunner?  Yes, I know that it’s a little different, but everyone knows what it is.  The Stunner should be retired, and Randy should get a kick in the Ortons for that.  If that’s not insulting enough, Randy also stole the Olympic Slam from Kurt Angle and he uses it as an everyday move.  The Olympic Slam was one of the coolest moves ever.  You do not deserve it, Orton.

Angle gets screwed with his other finisher too.  I cringe every time I see Jack Swagger use the Ankle Lock.  Even when Daniel Bryan uses it I get a little wary, though if anyone deserves it in the WWE, it’s him.  Angle still wrestles.  Can you at least wait until he retires before you loot his moveset like a bunch of roleplayers looting an Orc’s corpse for that +1 mace that you just KNOW the DM left there for the Fighter, but the Priest called dibs on it.

And then there’s the Crippler Crossface.  Look WWE, I understand what you’re trying to do.  By giving it to a new wrestler with a new name, you think that it’ll make people forget Chris Benoit.

NO ONE WILL EVER FORGET CHRIS BENOIT.

Benoit committed a horrible crime, which may one day be traced back to the head traumas he suffered as a wrestler.  But you can’t erase one of the greatest of all time.  The Crossface is his alone.  The Diving Headbutt is his alone.  You’re not fooling anybody by giving them to Daniel Bryan.  Bryan has a whole arsenal of sick moves.  Let him immortalize them instead of using the immortal moves of another.

Oh yeah.  Nova is getting screwed again as Sheamus is now using the Kryptonite Krunch as a finisher.  Wrestlers love to steal moves from this incredibly innovative and mostly marginalized great.  WE WANT NOVA!

Question: What do you think of Kofi Kingston’s push?

I was completely wrong with this one.  I predicted that after he lost the tag title due to Evan Bourne being an idiot, he would slide into jobber status.  Instead, he has The Miz (who almost killed R-Truth on Monday) jobbing to him.  I guess they felt that he shouldn’t be punished for Bourne’s drug habit.

I don’t really have a problem with Kingston’s push.  The crowd likes him, and he is high energy.  He’s not a great wrestler though, more of a Jeff Hardy-esque spot machine.  I think that in longer singles matches those weaknesses will begin to show.  To paraphrase Geroge RR Martin in “A Clash of Kings,” He’s copper, pretty to look at, but not good for much.

Then again I’ve been wrong about him before and I might be wrong about him again.

And once again we come to the end of another epic Big Time With Big C.  I hope you enjoyed my column, but if you didn’t, I’ve got two words for you . . . The End.

See what I did there?  I told you that I’m clever.

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Don't forget that Finlay like you mentioned before also used the Kryptonite Krunch(Better known as the Celtic Cross} during his tensure with the WWE.

   Posted by Jim Rival on Saturday, February 11, 2012

2. Comment #2

   Actually the RKO is a ripoff of Diamond Dallas Page's Diamond Cutter, not the stunner. And the only move Orton does that's even close to the Angle/Olympic Slam is his rebound catch powerslam, which admittedly he does as well as Arn Anderson used to execute the Spinebuster.
   The Angle/Olympic powerslam however, is a spinning/turning samoan drop.
   As far as the Ankle Lock, Ken Shamrock was doing it before Angle, though to be fair, he IS retired from wrestling.

   Posted by Legate619 on Tuesday, February 14, 2012

3. Comment #3

   Every one steals moves, its been like that since the 80's or earlier. Even Y2J's finishers and trademark are stolen. The Walls of Jericho, Rick Martel was known to do that move in the 70's and 80's also Gory Guerrero who also innovated the camel clutch but that's no here or there.
   
   The Lionsault he stole that from Último Dragón and the Code Breaker, well he got that move from move from a lot of guys from Mexico. Cause its a standard lucha move like the DDT in the States. Before Y2J says, oh this guys stole my move, he should think. That are not his moves, he never innovated any of his moves so shouldn't get mad about it. If anyone should be mad it should the guys who Y2J took the moves from and passed them off as his own.

   Posted by Rich on Friday, February 10, 2012

4. Comment #4

   The RKO is a DDP move.. Diamond Cutter.. not a stunner.. just a bit different.. otherwise great article.. hope to see more from ya

   Posted by Aztec on Saturday, February 11, 2012

5. Comment #5

   Woah! Big thumbs up on the article ones again Big C. I seriously love how you put down certain statements and actually have a valid way of explaining them and giving legit examples.
   
   Keep up the good work, my man! I dare to say I am a fan of your hard work and hope to see a lot of Big Times being created in the future!

   Posted by Juggernaut on Saturday, February 11, 2012

6. Comment #6

   I have to go with R-Truth. The guy has crazy aitiehlctsm and ring skills and he is always 100% pure entertainment on the mic. His new gimmick is ALOT better than his old Whats up! Whats up! BS

   Posted by Peter on Sunday, February 26, 2012

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