Feb 4. Monday Night Raw report

    Opening segment, Orton demands Cena sign a contract for NWO, then RKO's him as Henry distracts him.

    One interesting thing to note is how nice a pop Cena got. When Orton first said his name, the fans cheered loudly. Orton's been at his best in feuds with Cena over the past 6 months or so. His first feud with Cena was as a challenger, and got a nice reaction from the fans. Now he's the champ, and is getting a bit of heat from the fans. Cena though, is coming back STRONG. There's no way he loses at No Way Out. The WWE is fully pushing Cena. This segment as well as Cena's later segment is a strong reflection of that. The fans are reacting strongly to Cena, mostly in a positive way, though the guy in the front row at this RAW with the "Cena+Championship=B.S." sign is one of some that disagree's with the WWE's massive push. At the end of this segment, Henry comes running out, for no reason I might add, and distracts Cena. Then Orton nails him with an RKO. Problem is, this also makes Orton come off as weak as Cena comes back just fine later on. Orton's being built up as weak here, and Cena is indestructible again. A final note to mention on that relates to this opening segment is that Stephanie McMahon is the reason Cena didn't come back sooner, for which I personally am thankful. Vince McMahon wanted Cena back as early as the 15th anniversary, but Stephanie convinced him to wait, which really works out better as Cena came back on a big stage and got more momentum.

    The next segment was Kelly Kelly and Mickie James beating the team of Victoria and Beth Phoenix. This was a pretty interesting fight, since Mickie and Kelly won. It was nice to see that Victoria hasn't been totally forgotten after all. Beth Phoenix has been built up as the indestructible Women's Champ heel for awhile now, and for Mickie to get a clean win over her team, even appearing to have an upper hand for a minute, is interesting. With Candice coming back soon, maybe even next week, it's interesting that Beth would be shown as beatable. Not sure exactly what the WWE is doing with their Women's division, since pretty much all their faces are supposed to be getting pushed or looking strong. Ashley was supposedly going to have a feud off her comeback, but hasn't really been pushed, Maria is getting a push elsewhere for her upcoming Playboy shoot, and Candice will be feuding with Beth to get the belt back once she comes back. It's interesting that Mickie gets booked as strong here, and makes me wonder what they'll do with her when Candice comes back. For the record, Mickie is my favorite diva. Right after this fight, there was a dumb little 20 second thing where Regal told Hornswoggle to be proud to be in the Kiss My Ass club, and that he was in it and blah blah, nobody cares.

    Coming off the break, there was a nice little segment with HBK, Y2J, Jeff Hardy, JBL, Umaga, and Snitsky, in that order. I've been coming to like HBK as of late. Maybe it's his awesome theme song, which he mentions that he sings in the segment(and gets a little pop for, too!), maybe it's something else, but I'm starting to come around a bit. Anyway, he talks about his being 'this close' to a title win at last Wrestlemania, puts everyone in the Elimination Chamber match 'on notice', then gets interrupted by my personal favorite WWE wrestler, Chris Jericho. Y2J has one of the top 5 songs in the WWE, I must say, but that's another story(or is it? Yes, yes it is). Y2J comes out, mentions his match against HBK at Wrestlemania 19, tells HBK that he won't win the Chamber, and that he's been in more ECs than anyone(I think Triple H has as many as him though), and that his destiny to make it to Wrestlemania is going to happen at No Way Out. I'm here to tell you it's not though, because he'll be feuding with JBL(who by the way, I don't like) into WM 24. Jeff Hardy interrupts Y2J and comes out and gets his own pop, and then gets on the mic. He mentions he's never been at a WM main event, and that he'll sacrifice his body at levels never seen before to get into the Wrestlemania main event. Good thing was that Jeff's mic bit didn't last too long, though that's for good reason, he's not quite as strong on the mic as some of the other guys. JBL's ringing bells cut off Jeff, and JBL stepped out. He stayed outside the ring at first though, staying on the ring apron, and got some nice heat from the audience. He says that he bought Umaga's services to guarantee his win at No Way Out, though he's cut off by who else but Umaga himself. Umaga of course doesn't get on the mic since all he'd say is something like 'GABBA ZOO BAH, WANGA TANGA LASKO WHEEEEEE!', but he does make the RAW stars back up, and JBL gets in the ring behind him. Umaga, however, turns around and faces JBL head on, but before he can do anything he's also interrupted. Guess who? Yeah... Snitsky. His main thing now is the audience yelling 'brush your teeth' at him. He demands a chance to be in the elimination chamber match, but HBK tells him he doesn't deserve 'squat', which is true. The 6 start fighting, but Regal comes out and schedules a 3v3 match later on.

    So after the next commercial, one of my other favorite WWE wrestlers, Mr. Kennedy takes the stand. Unfortunately, the person he faces is Super Crazy, so not doing a whole lot for Kennedy's name there. Kennedy did look good in the match though, he had a lot of pretty well executed moves, looks like he's gotten better as an in-ring performer. Kennedy goes after the legs of Super Crazy, which as Jerry Lawler points out, is mirroring what his strategy will probably be against Flair at NWO, going after the leg MVP injured on the last Smackdown. Kennedy makes Crazy tap out to win this match. I'd like to point out at this time that I haven't seen Mr. Kennedy yell his name in awhile, it makes me sad, personally. Anyway, he does a great job of mocking Flair, even mocking his special strut, though did it with an 'injured leg' which we assume Flair has, and says 'woo'. Then we come to  Mike Adamle on the mic, whoever the hell that guy is. He's been annoying me for weeks now, just get rid of him, ugh. There's another commercial, then a promo for the EC match. Then Carlito and Santino Marella come out with Maria. Maria's wearing some black band around her thigh, and I just know that every guy there wished they were that band. Anyway, Carlito hits a back stabber on Kendrick to win the match, and JR and Jerry mention that Carlito and Santino keep winning via distractions. We go from this to a scene of a 'professional ass buffer' buffing Mr. McMahon's ass, and the highlight of this scene being probably the only reason this scene was put in- so Mr. McMahon could say 'Mr. McMahon's ass... in HD... that's got a  nice ring to it'. You'd think it would get more reaction out of the crowd, like a very loud vomiting noise, but oh well. Another commercial break here.

    Now we have the worst segment of the show, the Smooch my Gluteus Maximus Association humdig. The main problem with this segment is that it took forever. The highlight of the first part of this was McMahon telling the audience "If you don't give a damn about your children, say 'What?'", to which they of course yelled 'What?' He yells about how the audience are bad parents and don't discipline their kids and how 'as parents, you people are pathetic.' Rather boring. They take a camera shot of a few kids in the arena, then McMahon calls them all spoiled brats, to which a hilarious hispanic looking kid in a red shirt starts yelling at McMahon, perhaps the funniest part of the show. Vinnie Mac tells the parents to make their children kiss their asses or something, then calls Hornswoggle out. Hornswoggle comes out, and Vince tells him to kiss HIS ass, which Hornswoggle nearly does a few times, but then Finlay comes out. I'd like to point out that from the time Hornswoggle's music starts until Finlay's does is a very excruciating 3 minutes, which may not seem like a long time, but if you watched the segment you wanted to tear out your eyes and stab out your ears so you didn't have to see or hear it. It was THAT lame. Seriously. I'm not even joking. I'm more heartfelt when I say that than when Terrell Owens made his 'That's my quarterback' speech. McMahon tells Finlay that he can kiss his ass too. The segment ends with Hornswoggle biting McMahon's ass, which made me have to leave the room and empty my stomach via my mouth into the toilet. Yes, I vomited. Not really, but that's because I hadn't eaten so I had nothing to get rid of. Oh, I'd like to point out that Jerry Lawler trying to be a heel announcer isn't really working. And that Vince makes a match between himself and Hornswoggle and says he'll 'beat the holy hell out of my son'. And that it's a no disqualification match, and Finlay will be fired if he interferes. 

    Another advert for WM 24, just 55 days away! Next segment is Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes(remember who they are?) against Murdoch and Cade, who are wearing some weird coat/jackets. I don't get it, maybe it'll be more clear later, who knows? Anyway, Cody hits a DDT on Murdoch and wins this match. After the match, Santino and Carlito come out and tell Holly and Rhodes that they're the new #1 contenders for No Way Out. Santino as usual was hilarious on the mic. I still wonder what that strap is on Maria's leg... There's some ad for Project Runway, then we're back. They mention upcoming matches for NWO, Cena vs. Orton, Rey vs. Edge, and Flair vs. Kennedy, not to mention the 2 Elimination Chamber matches. Next up is the 3v3 match, which is good for me because I get to hear HBK and Y2Js' entrances again, I love that music. It's time they do a Jericho clothing line like Jordan's, just with Jericho's stance instead of Jumpman. Anyway, the match is pretty good, and has a moment where the 3 faces leap over the top rope at the same time and hit the 3 heels, very nice. The match ends, the faces win, naturally, and next up is Cena vs. Henry. This segment was fairly dumb, seeing as Cena got RKO'd earlier and comes back strong here. Predictably, Henry gets the early edge here, then Cena comes back and wins. Cena's pretty much coming back as a god in the WWE. He eliminates like 6 guys at the Royal Rumble, gets a title match at NWO, then gets RKO'd but comes back to beat the 'World's Strongest Man' in an arm wrestling contest.

    Overall, a pretty good RAW, I'd give it a B-, the KMA Club segment was just dumb, and it was lame how weak Orton looks and how ridiculously strong Cena works. And I have to wonder wonder Mickie got a clean win over Beth with Candice's comeback just around the corner. Ah well, a few questions left unanswered keeps me hooked for next week, the last RAW before No Way Out, which looks like another good pay per view.

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