Indy'd Indeed: Smackdown Report for 03/05/10

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the RATED R SU-voicebreak-PERSTAR, EDGE!!” Lulz. So Edge is out first, and apparently if he hits a spear at Wrestlemania, it’s all over. I’ll do you one better--no, two better; Edge will hit 3 spears at Wrestlemania. He may or may not actually win, but he’ll hit them. Meanwhile, I’m finding it funny that Edge’s Spear is really getting put over since Big Show is his opponent tonight and his spears have never really been classed as his finisher. Oh hey--Big Show! Please bring that up, Biggy. By the way, have I ever expressed how much I love Big Show in the WWE? Don’t get me wrong--there is alot of talent in the prowrestling world, and most of it is not in the WWE, nor could it all even fit in the WWE if the organization was 10 times larger--but how many guys of Big Show’s size even exist in the world? The fact he moves as well as he does is great.

Anyway, Big Show hypes up his tag title defense at Wrestlemania, and Big Show does the “I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast”, followed by Edge’s “You eat pieces of crap for breakfast?” Edge taunts Biggy, and Show charges, only to overshoot and get dumped over the ropes. Show sells it for a while. Seriously.

We shoot to the back, and Teddy is reading a mag before McIntyre complains about losing to Kane. Drew looks very shiny right now. And Vinnie Mac has expunged Drew’s loss last week from the record, but Kane is still entered in MITB, so Drew faces Matt Hardy for a second chance. Oh good; Matt is going to end his streak next. You know he is. It’s a Hardy. Remember the Hardys? Signature match; Ladder? Yeah.

Commercials are up, and we’re only 10 minutes in. 

We’re back, and here comes McIntyre with his still-too-slow lame music that never appropriately picks up. I was really hoping McIntyre would get a good music shift when he finally got something. 

Match 1: MITB Qualifier: Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy

Okay, so Hardy is going to win for 2 reasons. 

1.) There is no US Title Match because Miz is going to be in a Tag Title Match instead, so one of the 2 middle-tier belts needs to be on the line, which only leaves the Intercontinental Strap.

2.) The Hardy Name is the Ladder Match.

The bell rings, and McIntyre gets Matt to the corner and puts to the WM logo. Another lockup and McIntyre gets the first advantage of several back-and-forths. McIntyre throws Hardy to the ropes for a back body drop, but Hardy kicks to the face, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Hardy pursues, but gets taken down and has to roll in after McIntyre, taking us to commercial.

We’re back, and McIntyre is still in control. I’m going to eat a waffle, because I’m thus far unimpressed. Oh hey, a northern lights suplex. Hurrah. It’s a 2, then we get a lame submission hold on Hardy, which he battles out of and goes up top, only to get met with Drew. He pushes Drew off, hits the elbow drop, and goes for the Twist of Fate, which gets countered into the Future Shock, but countered into a Back Body Drop, then we go for another Twist of Fate, only to counter into a pin, then counter into another pin, and Hardy wins it!

Winner: Matt Hardy

Drew throws another fit, and I foresee this becoming the angle for next week too. 

We go to the back, and Jessie is back with Morrison, and he’s been doing some Hardcore Parkour. He leaves, and Truth shows up with his little friend. The NXT-freshie leaves and Truth wants them to be on the same page as they team up to compete for the Unified Tag Team Championships. Great. Instead of putting Morrison in Money in the Bank where he belongs so he can get a world title this coming year, we’re relegating him back to the Tag Team Ranks again. Morrison may very well be the next Matt Hardy.

After commercials, we see a replay of last week where Rey bugged Punk, and Punk got whiny because he lost a match. As is only logical, here’s... Shelton? Eh?

Match 2: Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler

After a bit of taunting, Ziggler gets an early sleeper hold, only to get hit with a jawbreaker. Ziggler goes to the corner and Shelton charges him, only for Ziggler to get out of the way. Some more back and forth before Ziggler gets a dropkick and another sleeper. Shelton gets out, but Ziggler is in control. Some more tossing around and Ziggler drops a massive elbow. Shelton retreats to the corner and gets ricocheted to another corner and Ziggler goes for a monkey flip, but Shelton lands on his feet. Shelton hits a weird backbreaker and he’s back in the match! The match picks up, but Shelton gets kicked for his trouble, only to hit an awesome German Suplex Pin. Ziggler finally gets back in it with another Sleeper, but Shelton reverses it. Ziggler goes for a ZigZag, but gets caught and launched into the turnbuckle. Shelton hits PayDirt, and his push continues!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Commercials start with a new HBK DVD. Wow... yeah, this might be the end for him. Of sorts. I get the distinct impression he’s going to lose, but come right back with a “never say die” attitude, then beat Undertaker later in the year.

Match 3: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Let’s see, Ezekiel was the last ECW Champ, Jimmy hasn’t been seen for months and didn’t get an entrance. I’m going to predict a squash.

.... Okay, Jimmy got some surprisingly good and innovative offense, and I did have hope right up until he got caught, but we all knew what it was. Really.

Winner: Ezekiel Jackson

Rey-rey is in the back and gives his daughter a toy of himself. Yeah--the way I put it makes it seem pretty narcissistic, doesn’t it? Tiffany is going to watch the girl while Rey is on TV. Ha. Let’s go to commercial...

Match 4: Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio

Y’know the great thing about this match? It’s the 4th match in an hour. Well, not at first. Punk has some words about Mysterio... and the parents that buy his merchandise for their kids. Apparently Rey-rey refuses to approach Punk man-to-man, and only does hit-and-runs. So after a few minutes of the speech, Rey can finally come out and we can get the match started. Wait.. Rey is wearing sleeves. Not a shirt--just sleeves. FOrtunately, they match his mask and pants.

They lock lockup... kinda, before Gallows beats him up. We get some slow holds and a couple throws before the match picks up. Rey gets some offense with a hurricanrana, but Gallows hits a good diving shoulder block  as Rey bounces towards him.  Now that Gallows is in control, the match slows, until he tosses Rey towards the ropes and gets kicked instead of hitting his back body drop--second time for the spot tonight. Gallows gets angry, Rey says bring it, then Rey actually looks at him and sees how angry Gallows actually is, and runs away, pulling down the ropes for Gallows to fall out before commercial.

Gallows is in control. Rey tries to battle back, but gets thrown to the apron. Gallows then shoots him into the steel post. Rey is out of the ring, so the count begins, but Gallows isn’t having anything of it and brings him in. Tossing him around for a bit before he hits a good looking slam. The pin only gets 2, so Gallows goes for a little ground assault, before trying a bad crossface. Rey battles out, but gets caught, and a beautiful Fallaway Slam connects. Rey gets up, but gets caught in a Bear Hug. Rey fights out, but gets tossed into a corner. Gallows winds up and charges for a hit. He then goes for it again, but Rey moves and shoulder meets steel. Rey hits a springboard senton from the apron, then a flying crossbody, but Gallows gets up. Rey keeps up the momentum, only to get a huge clothesline. Rey manages to get to the top rope, but Gallows is up. He can’t stop Rey from flying, but hits a great throat thrust as Rey flies down. Rey tries a tilt-a-whirl DDT, but Gallows doesn’t drop, so and turns it into a nice body-scissors headlock instead. Rey sets up the 610, but Serena and Punk interfere. Gallows capitalizes with a powerbomb, but Rey, believe it or not, reverses the powerbomb with a Senton and gets the pin.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Punk comes in like a man on a mission and tries to hit Rey with the GTS, only for Rey to escape. Poor Serena looks heartbroken.

In the back, Jericho tries to pump up Show, begging him to destroy Edge. Show says he knows what Jericho is up to, and he’s not going to beat Edge for Jericho, he’s going to beat him for himself. 

We go into the much-repeated Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels video package, and I still have to say; I still don’t want this match to happen for any of 3 reasons. I don’t want the streak to end, I don’t want HBK’s career to end, and I don’t want them to ruin their first WM encounter. Let’s finish these commercials and move on...

Match 5: Morrison/Truth vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

Morrison and Shad are in first. After a bit, Morrison goes for a springboard, but gets caught and massively slammed before we go to commercials. 

As we come back, we see how Cryme Tyme has been doing some cool things. Tyson Kidd tags JTG, and JTG takes offense with a dropkick. Tyson tags out to DH Smith and we see Morrison is clearly the face in peril. Their heads collide off the ropes, and Cryme Tyme is desperately trying to tag Morrison, as both men tag out to their partners. Truth vs. Kidd now, and Truth goes around the world before a superkick. DH and Gaspard go at it next, but Morrison flies in with a double clothesline, and all 3 are knocked out of the ring. Tyson with a springboard missile dropkick to Truth, but it’s a 2. They crisscross off the ropes, but Morrison hits the spinning shoulder block for the 3. Lie Detector; what a lousy finisher.

Winner: R-Truth & John Morrison

Do. Not. Want.

After commercials, Michelle and Layla are being girly with Vickie, before Beth comes in to man it up. Michelle and Layla run away and Beth asks Vickie when she gets a shot, because she’s the most dominant diva on Smackdown. Vickie says she’s the most dominant diva, and now apparently the divas are having McMahon-feuds... except with a Guerrerro. I see now. Wrestlemania card, and more commercials.

Match 6: Big Show vs. Edge

Bit of back and forth, and Edge is out of the ring. SHow goes to bring him in hard way, but Edge hangs him up. Show chops him down as he comes back in and taunts him by the ropes before going outside and dragging him out for a slam, but Edge pushes him into the steel post and runs in. SHow pursues him and quickly gets back in control. Big body slam, and Edge scurries to the ropes, only to have show rest his weight on him. Big headbutt and Edge is reeling. Edge gets clubbed down and caught in a headlock before he escapes with a jaw breaker. Big Show gets back in control again and another big body slam. Biggy goes for an elbow drop from the second rope, but Edge escapes. Show goes after him, but Edge trips him into the turnbuckle. Edge flies after him and hits a bulldog, but Show stays in it nonetheless. Chokeslam attempt, but Edge rolls him into a DDT. Edge calls for the spear and takes the big man down for 3. Lame.

Winner: Edge

One spear to take down Big Show? Really? Wait, here comes Jericho with the--nevermind, he eats a spear. I don’t like this. Edge is being buried by his own finisher in a way. Strange. The show ends as Edge points to the WM sign.

Not a bad show. 6 matches is hard to come by nowadays. Until next week!

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Nice report

   Posted by FIRST!! on Saturday, March 06, 2010

2. Comment #2

   rey and hardy nice going wait to beat cm punk and hardy beating undefeatead drew mcintyre and nice report
   

   Posted by jp on Saturday, March 06, 2010

3. Comment #3

   Tony Chimel was the funniest man of the night! XD
   
   More like Rated R Puberty! XD

   Posted by Ren Ten Jones on Saturday, March 06, 2010

4. Comment #4

   I had a boner but beat it into submission. It tapped out then spit in my face. Da Da DA lionman Da Da Da
   

   Posted by lionman on Sunday, March 07, 2010

5. Comment #5

   WTF,,, Lionman did we really need to know that?
   

   Posted by ViVi on Sunday, March 07, 2010

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