Indy'd Indeed: Speaking Blasphemy

Indy’d Indeed: Speaking Blasphemy

Hello all, and welcome to another exciting edition of the Indy’d Indeed (Indeed, Indeed!).

I remain your host Mr. Indianapolis, but you can call me Mr. Indy. 

In my article last week, I ran through the obligatory 2008 summary. Some of you liked what I had to say, others of you liked to nitpick. That’s fine, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know everything, and I certainly make mistakes. As a matter of fact, I did mean that I didn’t want to see Triple H in the WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania, not the World Heavyweight Championship match. I still haven’t quite adjusted to the titles switching brands. Most of that has to do with the fact that I still feel Trips is a stranger to the Smackdown! side of things. 

And I was actually unaware that Cena’s injury did not happen at the PPV. I wasn’t deeply involved in the RAW side of things at the time, so I bought the WWE’s explanation of the injury. Seemed plausible and looked legit. But this is coming from the person who complained that you couldn’t trust WWE.com for anything in the very same article. Apparently, I need my own advice.

That being said, let’s move on.

Chapter One: John Cena is Amazing

Yep, I’m speaking blasphemy to the marks and smarks everywhere.

But this is a point that must be made!

I know Cena has quite a bit of heat on him. The overwhelming majority of older viewers tend to find him stale, undeserving, lacking in the ring, and plain boring.

For starters, Cena is a marketing tool for kids. Cena is the classic good-boy hero with old hometown values. He isn’t covered in tattoos, and he looks more straight-edge than CM Punk himself. He has a military haircut, and stands for quiet rebellion.

That’s just his appearance.

His charisma is outstanding and his dedication is unmatched. This is a man who has done everything Vinnie Mac has asked of him for years. He’s done photoshoots, commercials, guest appearances, movies - and while some people feel that the WWE shoved him down our throats for a year and a half, one must remember how much extra time Cena had to dedicate to be able to do all of this. That is, in addition to of course, a hectic road schedule that saw him at every RAW, pay-per-view, house shows, training to keep himself in shape, and traveling to all of these places.

For at least a year, John Cena gave himself completely to the WWE with unmatched dedication.

But one of the leading complaints against John Cena is his lackluster and predictable moveset. I won’t deny it’s existence, but I fail to see it as a problem in the grand scheme of things. 

Chapter Two: Cena’s Moveset is Not Awful

As I’ve already said, Cena is a marketing tool to kids, and his moveset is no different. His moveset is meant to be educational. It is meant to “teach the basics” to children so they can understand mechanics. Do any of you remember being young children watching the WWE and being unable to understand the more technical matches? Unless you walk them through it, many younger faces don’t understand a Batista Bomb if you showed it to them. They just can’t equate how we go from having one guy between the other guys legs, having the same guy elevated on the other guy’s shoulders, then both guys ending on the ground. If you take away your current knowledge of match mechanics and try to “play dumb”, you’ll realize that a powerbomb is actually mildly complicated. That’s a complete opposite to the F-U, which is very simply just a throw from the shoulders. Nothing flashy, just something deemed effective.

The other thing about Cena’s moveset is that, unlike most wrestlers, Cena’s moveset developed essentially a move at a time, with logical storytelling behind each move. 

Most specifically, the F-U had one of the greatest name developments of all time. It’s stronger predecessor was Brock Lesnar’s F-5. An F-5 is recognized as the most powerful tornado on the Fujita Scale, a measure of intensity for all tornadoes. Less than .1% of all tornadoes are considered this strong. Due to the whirling action of Lesnar’s finishing Facebuster, and the overall  sheer power of Lesnar, the F-5 was named accordingly.

When John Cena challenged Brock Lesnar, he mockingly innovated the “F-U”, playing on both the F-5’s setup (a fireman carry) and more obviously the name, with Cena’s variation playing off internet jargon short for an inappropriate mannerism. He found much success with his new finisher over a good period of time, but something was missing.

Over a year later, Cena was involved in a program with Kurt Angle where the odds were stacked against him to retain his title. To further stack the odds, Angle, a known submission specialist, was put in a “Submission Only” match against Cena. Cena, despite not actually having a submission victory to his name, was still triumphant when he debuted an STF (stepover toe-hold facelock). This STF was later renamed to be the “STF-U”, playing not only on his previous finisher, but continuing to keep his trend of inappropriate internet shortforms in a logical manner. In current days, the move seems to have devolved from an STF to an STS (stepover toe-hold sleeper), though his opponents don’t seem to react accordingly.

At any rate, this kind of logical storytelling allowed children follow the development of their favorite wrestling superhero, John Cena.

Chapter Three: Some of your Questions

I definitely expect some good opinions on Cena now that you’ve heard what I have to say. Hopefully you’ll be more intuitive than “cena sucks! you suck!”, but any comments are good, I suppose.

At any rate, I did get a question last week, so I suppose I should get that out of the way, right? Remember, if you’ve got any questions for me, it would be my pleasure to answer them if I’ve got the room to cram it in! :)

Chapter Four: “What’s your opinion on The Legacy?”  -pray

I don’t hold a very high opinion of The Legacy storyline, I’m sad to say. I thought it was better when it was being toyed with because it had great potential, but in practicality the WWE hasn’t been able to get this stable off the ground. In a more counterproductive measure, they’re now tinkering with it until it does get off the ground.

I thought it began well, with Rhodes and DiBiase starting to gain momentum mostly thanks to DiBiase. It should be no surprise anymore that I am not a fan of Cody Rhodes in the slightest, but the beginning was scarred by the sudden and inexplicable presence of Manu. I’m not sure why he appeared, and to say that “He’s a second-gen superstar too” was a pretty awful explanation, especially since he comes from the same bloodline as so many other superstars. Using the Samoan bloodline in the second-gen stables is almost pointless, they’re all related. From The Rock to Umaga.

Speaking of Umaga, Manu looks like a younger version, and yet he carried himself professionally. He looks like Umaga, and he’s credited as the spawn of “The Wild Samoans”. Why is he not absolutely crazy? FAIL! Manu has failed as badly as Bam Neely. I don’t expect him to last long.

Meanwhile, I really wanted Deuce (at the time) to make his RAW appearance and reveal that he was the adopted son of Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, then attempt to prove that he was every bit as capable as Rhodes and DiBiase. After a little hesitation, Orton could let him in, and then we have our stable of 4. To be quite honest, I really wish we could have kept the “Deuce” name and gimmick as well, though perhaps toning down the ‘50s thing. I have been high on “Deuce” for a long time.

Rhodes, DiBiase, Deuce, and Orton would have been a much better stable.

But anyway, The Legacy is falling apart. Especially since Orton has so many other things going for him. Either let Orton take Cena at WM25, or let Orton feud with McMahons for the next year. A successful feud in either of those will cement his own legacy. A feud with the McMahons would also allow another “Legend Killer” relapse. But personally, I’d pay to see Orton vs. Shane-o-Mac and Orton vs. Vince. Am I alone?

I feel Randy Orton is every bit as capable of a star to pull off the McMahon feud. He’s developed a heel character that is more than willing to kill the other heels to better himself. I love this type of character, and as long as the McMahons don’t try to be babyfaces (let the punt to McMahon be a turn on Vince’s part, since he re-debuted as a face) it has great potential. Orton is getting himself over by trashing every other heel he comes in contact with. If he isn’t the most-over top heel in the WWE right now, I’ve no clue who is, especially since Edge seems to be floundering under Vickie.

Anyway...

Cena is not awful, he’s just not designed for an older generation of experienced smarks and marks. If you must critique him, I beseech you to shift your perspective and see him for the hardworking educational experiment that, for all rights and purposes, seems to be working in spectacular fashion.

Meanwhile, The Legacy is floundering. I hope Orton doesn’t go down with the ship. 

That’s all for this week. Remember to give me your questions if you have any!

Until next week... :D