Edge beats up on Bourne

So we start off the show halfway through a beat down. Apparently, Edge came out to address the crowd. Evan Bourne comes out and says “I want you spot at the Fatal Four way, and I’ll beat you for it tonight”. Well, the Rated R Superstar didn’t like that too much... and started beating up on Bourne. Bourne put up a bit of a fight, but at the end, it was the SPEAR! that ended the whole thing. Edge picked up the mic, and went along the lines of “I’m the best, I’m smarter than my three opponents, and I’ll be the 10 time…count ‘em... 10 TIME World Champion!”

“I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD”

Out comes Orton and he ‘slivers’ his way down and into the ring. Edge tried to ‘charm’ the viper, reminding Orton that he’s hurt and doesn’t need to do anything stupid.

An RKO later, and Edge is down!

Segment rating: B+

Maybe I shouldn’t give ratings, but I’ll do it anyway. This was good continuing the feud with Orton/Edge, and gave way to a possible thing with Bourne later…we’ll get to that. The only thing I didn’t like was that it started half way through. I think they knew what they would do would last too long maybe, but still. Having to explain why Bourne was being beat like a sock puppet took away from the actions in front of us.

Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth

This was a pretty decent WWE match, though I know what that says in the end of it all. Jericho was pretty much in control for the majority of the match. However, R-Truth did his best, and ended up pinning the former World Champion.

Winner: R-Truth

Match Rating: C

Two reasons why. One, Jericho in the opening match, which is just fail. He was a WORLD champion just a couple of months ago. Two is what happened after the match, which is showing Jericho almost in TEARS from the loss. Man up, Chris!

By the way… somewhere in here, Ashton put a ‘hit’ out on Zack Ryder for dissing him on Twitter.

Santino Marella & Divas Champion Eve def. William Regal & Maryse

Right before the match, Santino said Kozlov should join him with as a tag-team partner, and Santino can teach him ‘da ways…of da cobra’. . The match goes, and it’s the basic mixed-tag match. The girls pull each other’s hair, tag in the men, and then it becomes a typical Santino match. But then, it turns. Eve breaks the pin on Santino, Maryse comes in and tackles Eve. The two roll over the ref, and Kozlov comes in and Iron Curtain’s Regal and pulls Santino over into the cover for the 1.2.3.

Winner: Eve and Santino Marella.

Match Rating: C

After the match, Santino comes to and realizes what Kozlov did and starts celebrating he may have gotten to the Russian behemoth.

RAW GM Hart arranges Viewers Choice next Monday

This segment pretty much started as the title said, Hart comes out says he wants to do something GREAT next RAW. Out comes DiBiase who says ‘name your price, and I’ll pay it, to give me control of RAW next week.’  Ashton comes on and says make it viewers choice. Bret agrees and announces next week’s three-hour show will be viewers choice with ALL the superstars from both brands. McMahon makes his way out and talks a little trash, but says that it is amazing that Bret, almost 12 and a half years after he left WWE forever is now RAW GM, and that he wouldn’t be if Vince didn’t think he was the best man for the job. He also says that he hopes the beginning is as pleasant as… the ending.

Segment Rating: B-

It would be lower, but if I can pretend to have input on a RAW show, I’ll take it.

Payback is Rated R

So, Zack Ryder is talking to Randy asking if he is the guy that was hired. Orton says simply, “If it was me, we wouldn’t be talking”. A heel response from a fan-turned face. I love it. Zack goes of with Alicia Fox.  Orton stays in his doorway, when the door swings open and smashes Orton on the shoulder. Orton falls and the camera catches Edge walking over Orton and down the hall.

Segment Rating: A-

Again, keeps the heat on Edge and Orton, but takes Orton out of the Main Event. Good segment over all, even though I had to see ‘Woo woo woo’ in his woman’s shirt. Seriously, dude? Even ‘80’s guys didn’t do that… just certain ones….

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

The match I’ve been wanting to see since Miz smacked Bryan in the face! And it lived up! The played Bryan still as an inexperienced rookie, as he opened himself up to a Miz beat down for a few moments. It looked like Cole and Miz would get their way, when suddenly Bryan locks on that arm submission of his. Miz looked to be close to tapping, when he turned Bryan over for a two, then Bryan countered by pinning Miz for the one, two, three!

Winner: Daniel Bryan

I’m not going to rate this yet, because it’s not over. Miz gets up and starts beating down Bryan and throws him in front of the announcer’s table. Miz goes out and picks up Bryan, and orders him to apologize to Cole. Bryan elbows Miz in the gut, takes him by the head, and throws him right into Michael Cole.

Match/Segment rating: A+

Bryan was played perfectly here, not beating Miz completely but still getting the win, and the segment afterwards sealed the deal. I’m looking forward to seeing Bryan on Monday’s or Friday’s VERY soon!

Please Welcome the Usos

The team that beat down the Hart Dynasty last week is in the ring, and they start talking about their lineage and how they are genetically made to dominate.  The twin sons of one of the Wild Samoans and Tamina, daughter of “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka were ready to go, when the Hart Dynasty runs out and start to attack. The Usos got the upper hand and, just like the last week, hit all three of the Hart Dynasty with the top-rope splash!

Segment rating: B

This is starting to look like an up and coming feud. What made the rating a B, however, is the way the Usos and Tamina talked. Now I understand why the Cryme Tyme break up; you can’t have to gangster sounding teams in the same company.

The Hit is Executed

So, Zack Ryder comes down and demands that whomever it is that took the hit order needs to come down and face him. First up, Jerry Lawler. Ashton comes on and says, ‘Nope, not Jerry’. Then in comes Khali. Ashton; ‘Nope, not Khali”. And then out comes Goldust, and before the music even got going good. Ashton; ‘Nope not Goldust’.  Alicia takes the microphone and talks a little, she hands it back to Ryder, accidentally dropping it. Then, when Ryder bends to get it, she scissor kicks him in the back of the head, and Alicia walks away with Ashton applauding his hit-woman.

Segment: C+

This took way to long. It had it’s moments, but it was way too long to deal with “Woo woo woo”. Still, seeing Alicia kick him in the head was worth the wait.

Next week- The A-Team hosts the Viewers Choice RAW!

Main event: The promised us a great one at the beginning of the show…. Edge and Sheamus vs. John Cena and ???

Edge and Sheamus come out to their boos and cat calls. Finally, Cena’s music hits and out comes the Champ. He talks on the mic about how it was smart of Edge to take out Orton, and leaving Cena with no time to find a partner… except that everybody hates those guys and it was easy to find a replacement in….

ALL SYSTEMS GO, WE’RE READY FOR TAKE OFF!

Evan Bourne comes out and both Cena and Bourne run down to the ring. Sheamus and Edge clear the ring while Cena and Bourne warm the crowd up. The tag match itself was actually a very good back and forth match. Near the end, Bourne was taking most of the damage from Edge and Sheamus. Bourne got the tag on Cena, who went ape on Sheamus. Sheamus broke from the Attitude Adjustment, went for the bicycle kick, missed, and ran right into a kick from Bourne. Sheamus staggered back right into the AA. Edge enters the ring and goes for a spear, but Cena moves and Edge runs 5 more miles into the steel post. Cena tags in Bourne, who hits Air Bourne on Sheamus for the 1…2…3….

Winner: Evan Bourne and WWE Champion John Cena!

Match Rating: A-

It was a VERY good tag match, with some big spots and a lot of back and forth action. Bourne held his own in this main event and has hopefully secured a job for the next few months at least. The only complaint that I have is the Edge ‘missed’ Spear. Edge ran another 10 feet before he hit the post. I don’t care how much force you put behind a charge, you’ll stop in 10 feet! Overall, a good main event!

Show Rating: B+

This was one of the better shows of RAW I’ve seen in the past couple of months. There was good action, some big moments, and, of course, the epic fails of ANYTHING with Ryder involved. Still, a strong showing from RAW, and I hope they can build the momentum going into next weeks show with the A-Team and Viewers Choice.

 This was the RAW Report, presented to you by “Lethal” Laz Langston, and Lethal Inc.!