Magnanimously Untitled Article

    Hello everybody and welcome back to the official return of the magnanimously untitled article. I’m not sure what magnanimous means, but it’s a big word that sounds like it belongs here.

    Tonight is a glorious night, as the random thoughts return. Of course I have to say I seriously considered resigning from my post as an articolist. That’s right, I thought hard about it. After all, after the last article what could I possibly follow it with? My God the response to that was unbelievable. At the time of this writing it had --- views. Now I haven’t done any research, nor do I look at the views of the other articles. However, I have no choice but to assume that is the most viewed article in the history of the site. High Score! I also believe it has the most comments of any article in the sites history so score there too. Those two factors combined I think it’s obvious that I can now call myself the Undisputed World Heavyweight Articolist Champion, reigning and defending. In all seriousness though guys I would like to thank each and everyone one of you who read it for making such a viewed article, and the comments you left made it worth the effort. The feedback you guys left was incredible. You guys seemed to love it. I think it’s because the article related to almost everyone a little. Except apparently for one El Metalos, who I couldn’t find in the game.

    Oh well, cowards use all kinds of aliases. I got people telling me how much they could relate to it, and how much it touched them, and how much they loved it. They called it the best article on the site, and for that very reason it is. It is my masterpiece, my magnum opus, my revolutionary ladder match, my outstanding Iron man Match, it is my WrestleMania. My greatest creation. All because you say so. We’re about to get started on some random thoughts now, but before we do there are a few things I would like to clear up. There were a few comments on my last article that, while supportive, were incorrect. First off 95% of the time the blood is real. They cut themselves with razor blades. However they occasionally use fake blood caplets. Second the weapons are real. It’s just that chairs don’t hurt that bad, they never swing a sledgehammer, and they’re just really tough guys. Third, while I thank you for the support for wrestling against its detractors I have to tell you this. UFC is not fake. It is not scripted, it is not predetermined. The fights are real, they get hurt bad a lot of the time. That is why they only fight every three months or so. You will not find any credible evidence suggesting otherwise. It’s just a fact. Now that that’s out of the way let’s get random.

    Mike Knox is like King Midas, except instead of gold everything he touches turns to boring.

    Some day I’m gonna do a video blog for you guys. My article will just be a website link and you’ll watch it and love it, and make me king of our country. Or at the very least you’ll leave a comment on it.

    WWE had me going for a second. When Cena said he loved Vickie, and left the ring and nothing happened I was frightened. But they got me. Early April fools on all of us. Most of us. Some of us. Maybe just me.

    Place your bets, who’s gonna win. Michaels in his home state, or Undertaker on his home stage. It should be a Match of the Year.

    Why put Shelton and MVP in the Money in the Bank match. I was looking forward to a title match at WrestleMania.

    People always rip on Cena’s finisher because they say it’s just a fireman’s carry, but it’s not. It’s a firemans carry slam, and really isn’t all that much like a regular firemans carry at all. He’s lifting people up, tossing them overhead, and slamming into the mat, hard. Heck, they’re falling just as hi as they fall from a choke slam or a Batista Bomb. They fall a lot farther then they do from a Rock Bottom. Honestly I think it’s mainly another excuse for people to hate Cena.

    I don’t why I decided to put this here, but here is my top 5 of all time list.

Note that these are my personal favorites, not my personal rankings on the greatest wrestlers of all time.

1. Goldberg

2. Hardys (I put them as one for a reason that’s hard to explain through the written word)

3. Stone Cold

4. Shawn Michaels

5. Chris Benoit

    Lately there has been a little bit of talk of WWE combining the World Titles and having one undisputed champion. I think this is a bad idea, but if they did do it here’s how I would like to see it go down. First you have a unification match between the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. Then you have a thirty two man tournament. Two brackets of 16. On one bracket you have the Undisputed champion automatically in the semifinals, and the other one you have the ECW Champion in the semi finals. Since this is hypothetical let’s say that the Undisputed champion is once again Chris Jericho, and the ECW Champion is Bourne. So they have their tournament at it’s going good. Let’s say in the second round the guy who won Money the Bank, we’ll call it Morrison, gets eliminated from the tournament. So next week Morrison cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase after Jericho has had a match and beats him. John Morrison is the undisputed champion and despite being eliminated from the tournament now takes Jericho’s guaranteed place in the semi finals. Jericho wants his rematch, but Benjamin, who won his side of the bracket is the rightful challenger since he made it to the semi finals. So we have a triple threat match in which Morrison manages to retain. Meanwhile on the other bracket not a lot’s happening. Evan Bourne retains the ECW title over Mr. Kennedy. So at whatever PPV is next it will Evan Bourne vs. John Morrison for the Absolute Undisputed WWE World Championship. Just for fun let’s make it an Iron Man match. I’m gonna have to say Morrison wins this. Well I think that would be fun just to see. If they actually did it though it would be ridiculous. Let’s face it, WWE just has too much going on for there to only be one champion.

    I’ve always avoided things that said spoiler. Now I’m avoiding anything that says possible spoiler. Even ones that aren’t confirmed like Orton winning the Rumble. It took away a lot of the Rumble’s mystique for me. And spoilers ruined Christians surprise return. Of course they wouldn’t have if I would just watch it when ECW comes on instead of later because I was watching Scrubs. But come on it’s the final season I’m not gonna miss this. Wait, what were we talking about?

    Did any of you guys actually see the wrestler? I thought it was great. You don’t have to be a wrestling fan too appreciate how awesome it is, but it helps =D

    A lot people have like, their favorite indy guy. For most people I find that it’s either Bryan Danielson, Kenta, Adam Pearce, Nigel McGuiness, or someone like that. Recently I found myself to be a Roderick Strong kind of guy. I like his backbreakers, and his submission where he kicks people in the while he has it locked on. I just really like him.

    Behind Enemy Lines 3 looks like a movie that was in theatres sometime in the mid 90’s, but no one remembers it, and so they play it on FOX on Sundays all the time.

    I hope they bring Low Ki up to the main roster soon. Word has it he’s supposed to feud with Rey, but I would also like to see him and Bourne go at it

    Now it’s time for my Hall of Fame induction of the week. This week’s inductee often goes unmentioned in a list of great champions, especially in younger generations. Yet he is the epitome of what a champion should be. He was a fighting champion, for longer than anyone else before or since. He started out a small skinny immigrant kid living in Philadelphia who would get constantly picked on. Then he started working out at his local YMCA, and slowly he became stronger and stronger; eventually entering the world of professional wrestling. It was there he would give hope to millions of working class people, and show them what one could achieve through hard work and determination. In April of 1963 he won the World Title from Buddy Rogers and would go on to hold it for almost eight years. He went from being the skinny little kid everyone could pick on to being the Italian Superman. This weeks inductee is the one and only Bruno Sanmartino.

Hall Of Fame:

Hulk Hogan
Dusty Rhodes
Harley Race
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Mean Gene Okerlund
Bruno Sanmartino

    Well how’s that for a follow up article. Next week me randomness should be even better. Until then I’ll see you guys later. Peace, Love, and Candy.