Magnanimously Untitled Article Vol. 7

First computer viruses and then a broken keyboard. It’s been a tough month and a half for my writing career. All is well now thanks to big brother and his extensive knowledge of the internets, and spare keyboard. It’s been an even tougher month for me emotionally as I’m sure you all saw the debacle that occurred at Extreme Night Stand. Yes, after a show stealing ladder match where Jeff was victorious CM Punk came out, and cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase. It took two GTS’, but Punk walked out of One Extreme Night with the World Heavyweight Champion. Thus I am now calling for the immediate and swift execution of CM Punk. Oh well I guess it’s not so bad. The thing I have a problem with is the continuation of these short title reigns. Do you realize the longest reigning World Heavyweight Champion of the past year and a half is Edge. And that reign was only three months. This isn’t exaggeration it’s fact, and a sad one at that. I guess if there is a silver lining to all these uber short title reigns it’s that it’s more realistic to an extent. I mean, if there’s a title being defended every three weeks it’s bound to change hands quite a bit. Oh well I can talk more about something coherent later. For now I ramble.

So are the tag titles ever gonna be separate again, or what? If they’re not they need to get a single set of belts. Speaking of new belts, I think it’s time to give all the belts in WWE, excluding the Diva’s title, a make over. They’ve all been the same for a while. And yes I’m talking about the Big Gold Belt as well.

I’m not sure what to make of this whole Donald Trump storyline. I kind of like the idea of him being an on screen entity, just because he’s a well known celebrity and can give WWE good publicity. He seems to be doing good so far though. Title match on two hours of uninterrupted Raw. I’m liking it.

I’m thinking about every now and then doing an article where I go over some of the storylines in WWE, but I do it in kayfabe. I think that could be fun. It would be like when nerds, like me, discuss who would win between Superman and The Hulk. Just something to do for fun.
P.S. The Hulk would win.

Judging from Raw, us people here on the internet are the only one’s who were told about The name change for The Bash. Legacy and JR, just didn’t seem to notice.

I’m tired of the way The Guns, and Lethal Consequences keep harassing Suicide. Honestly the matches are good, but I don’t like seeing two tag team constantly competing for a singles title.

Shane Douglas is back in TNA, and he is mad. He is ready for a fight, and he wants what’s his. A spot on the TNA ros….Hey! Look it’s Raven. I love Raven. Someone tell that fat guy to quit talking so I can hear Raven.

Yeah, Samoa Joe’s fat, but he can still kick your ass.

I like how even when Trevor Murdoch is jobbing in TNA he’s never getting squashed.

Show of hands, who thinks Suicide will be unmasked at Slammiversary? Mmhmm…okay. Now, who cares if Suicide will be unmasked at Slammiversary? Anyone…….no? Okay moving on.

I haven’t been able to watch ROH in like 3 weeks. I cry when I think about it, but I should be caught up soon. Does anyone else watch their T.V. show?

I heard Loki was going to be brought to the main roster in WWE, and I want to see him. I loved Loki.

I still can’t wrap my head around why they would get rid of someone like Petey Williams, and bring in Shane Douglas for PPV.

I don’t see why they even bothered having Batista beat Orton at One Night Rules if they were just gonna give the strap back to him a week later. It’s things like that why I want a kayfabe article. So I can suspend my disbelief, and chalk crappy ideas up to chance.

I think Triple H is gonna break Flair’s record. A year ago I didn’t, but at the rate things are going, and the position he’s at in the company I think it’s just a matter of years. He’s got plenty of time left in his career to do it too.

However, that being said. I believe Edge will break that record. In 3 year and a half he amassed World Titles, and I doubt he will drop out of the title picture anytime soon. That’s unheard of. Ignoring the fact that the longest one of those was three months long he’s on the fast track to breaking Flair’s record. If Triple H doesn’t, he will.

I heard Chris Masters is close to signing with WWE again. I hope he does. For some reason I just always liked him. I met him once, he was a nice guy.

It was kind of surreal. While I was watching Murdoch face Raven in that house of fun match I watched Murdoch and thought to myself “Wow. This man is wrestling on national television on a prime time wrestling program, and I’ve seen him throw up not five feet from where I was sitting.” That was special for me.

Just a reminder to those in the Missouri area, or who feel like driving to Missouri, October 3rdWorld League Wrestling, Harley Race’s own promotion, will be holding their 10th anniversary show in Eldon, Missouri at the Eldon High School gym. Special guest will be the legendary Nature Boy Ric Flair. Tickets for the first three rows are seventeen dollars, general admission is fifteen. Polaroids are usually ten dollars, with autographs being free. Also, the card will feature Noah Talent.

Hey how about some Bash predictions.

Michelle McCool vs. Melina: Women’s Title
Melina will win. I don’t care enough about this match to really go through anything.

John Cena vs. The Miz
John Cena could quite easily tear Miz in half, but his feud with the Big Show may not have ended yet. I hope it had, but there’s no telling. The only chance Miz has is if Big Show interferes.

The Colons vs. Priceless: Unified Tag Team Titles
I have a feeling The Colons will win this one. And the reason I think that is because I think Priceless will win. Weird right? Every time a situation occurs where a title hasn’t been defended in forever, and then it’s defended and it’s almost certainly going to change hands, it never does. So I think The Colons will win this one, but lose at Night of Champions.

Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio: Title vs. Mask
First off, there is no reason Jericho should be IC champion. He’s too far above that level of competition. He should be either competing in World Title situations, or high level feuds with guys like Morrison, so he can elevate them, or he should be feuding with other former World Champions. I don’t think Rey is ready to be unmasked, but I don’t think Jericho is ready to lose the title either. I hate to say it, but I think Jericho is gonna win this one.

ECW Scramble Match
We have Mark Henry, Tommy Dreamer, Jack Swagger, Finlay, and Christian. This will make Henry and Finlay the only two people to have competed in more than one scramble. Frankly this match won’t be that great, but the first three were all pretty fun. I’m looking forward to Finlay staying out most of the match, and during the last 20 seconds he lays out everyone with a shillelagh. In all likelihood though I feel that Tommy Dreamer will retain.

Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk: World Heavyweight Title
I have the same feeling with this match as I did when Punk wrestled Batista. He doesn’t have a real chance. He’s just not at a world championship level. That being said there is a very good chance he will retain somehow. I just don’t know exactly who would interfere. I suppose it could be Edge interfering, but he could interfere on either behalf, so he doesn’t have much of reason to interfere. I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I always bet on Jeff.

3 Stages of Hell: WWE Championship.
Quite simply Orton will win this. I will go crazy if he doesn’t. There’s two reasons for this. One is that I’m am sick of these super short title reigns. Secondly, I don’t think Trips needs another reign right now. If Orton is gonna drop the title super quick it should be to someone else. I predict that Legacy will give Orton the first fall. In the second one Triple H will take out Legacy with a sledgehammer, and take the second fall. The third one will go to Orton. Probably with the help of Legacy again. Either way Orton wins.


Well I think we can stand to take a break from the fantasy tournaments for a week. I will tell you the next one I’m going to do is greatest submissions. So get your thoughts stewing about that one. Until next time folks be safe. Peace, Love, and Candy.

Comments

1. Comment #1

   yay 1st

   Posted by Jordan Hardy on Friday, June 26, 2009

2. Comment #2

   I love submissions :)

   Posted by Tunga on Friday, June 26, 2009

3. Comment #3

   Yeah, hard to believe that Bob Backlund and Bruno Sammartino held the belt for like 5 years each, Superstar Billy Graham had a really long reign also. It seems those days are over.
   
   I'm hearing the Orton title reign was a re-write caused by the injury to Batista's bicep, which will have him out several months.
   
   I think CM Punk is a far better wrestler than Cena, if we're calling a spade a spade. At least CM Punk got over and was given a spot because of it instead of being forced down our throats until people shrugged and accepted him in a completely sheep-like way. He's athletic and works hard and all, I blame the writing surrounding him: "I'm a rapper, no wait, I'm a soldier". He's not believable no matter how many promos I hear. I have to admit, what he said to Miz about getting boos and being told he can't wrestle was a good promo, using the old technique of bringing a bit of real life into the scenario. Still, CM Punk has that X factor that Cena doesn't have, but typical to McMahon's style, the big musclehead will get a spot before an athlete any day.
   
   On a final note, don't change the Big Gold, we see what WWE does with Championship belts- the spinner and this new ECW belt. Reggie Parks (the belt maker) is hanging his head in shame. Leave the Big Gold alone, it's at least a little bit of history, being that Flair brought it to the WWF all those years ago and it's the only thing that honestly still exists in the product from WCW. It's the epitome of a title belt, big, gaudy, and gold. I like it better than any other belt in the history of wrestling except for maybe the NWA belt of the 70s and 80s (the Domed Globe) and maybe the old WWWF belt (the Golden Eagle).
   
   

   Posted by Blue Demon Jr. on Saturday, June 27, 2009

4. Comment #4

   To Blue Demon Jr. Cena is better then CM Punk

   Posted by Ma-rko on Saturday, June 27, 2009

5. Comment #5

   It wasn't so much that TNA got rid of Petey Williams. If I remember rightly he was with them but had told them he would leave as soon as ROH got back up and started as that is where his heart is, and it did, so he left, It's a shame I know but it is up to him, also. The X Division KOTM match should not have been first, it was the best match of the night and hopefully now that beer money have the titles again it will open up for another feud with one of the other tag teams, I myself wish it to be the guns cos they are awesome

   Posted by Astatine on Saturday, June 27, 2009

6. Comment #6

   You seem like a mark writer to call CM Punk not world championship material because he is the guy who makes SD interesting with his tweener/heel persona right now and he is a great wrestler overall.

   Posted by Saint Segura on Saturday, June 27, 2009

7. Comment #7

   CM punk turned heel it makes watching him bearable and it was about time you had to se it coming you know i think i might cheer for him every now and then but i still hope Jeff wins because what if Punk doesn't stay heel the last thing WWE needs is another CM punk era as a face p.s John Morrison could be his next opponent because all the old smackdown main eventers are taking leaves and john getting quite the push after his win over CM punk

   Posted by RIPPER X on Saturday, June 27, 2009

8. Comment #8

   Meh.

   Posted by Edge Head on Saturday, June 27, 2009

9. Comment #9

   Ma-rko hwo the hell can you say Cena is better than CM Punk, the onyl thing Cena can do is talk & talk & talk & broe & bore & bore. HE CAN'T WRESTLE and he still gets a push jsut ebcause little children liek to see people punch each other for a long period of time, really annoys me, when is ee gornw men/women cheering for Cena I looka t them and thoguht do you like who they telly uo to like, what abotug reat wrestlers :s
   Chavo Guerrero is a good wrestle, so is Haas & Benjamin is all round awesome, ncie 2 c Morrison, kofi & Even given a chance tho :)

   Posted by Huang Zhong on Wednesday, July 01, 2009

10. Comment #10

    sammartino held in 7 years. longest reign in history

    Posted by the ultimate killer on Saturday, July 04, 2009

Leave a comment