Ragnarok's RAW Report (30/05/11)

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Ragnarok’s RAW Report. Tonight’s RAW is also a celebration of Memorial Day.

 

Technically speaking…

RAW starts tonight with some technical difficulties caused by R-Truth apparently. We see him vandalizing the merchandize shop; mostly stuff related to Cena. But… thankfully there’s no audio.

At ringside Cole and Lawler are back with audio when Truth finally comes out from the stands yelling at anyone who has a Cena T-shirt. At this point of time the audio is lost again. Truth takes a few moments talking to a father-son duo both sporting similar Cena T-shirts. After some time he comes back in the ring, still rambling but me still unable to hear him. John Cena finally decides to interrupt him. Initially I still can’t hear him but when the audio finally resumes Cena asks Truth what his problem is. Truth blames Cena and “little Jimmy” for the conspiracy against him. Cena defends the WWE audience and tells him that if he wants a match then he’s ready for it.

BINGLE!!

The RAW GM schedules a match between the two for the main event.

R-Truth ends the conversation with his trademark line: “you gonna get got” (???)

 

Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler

The two men grapple initially trying to gain the upper hand. Dolph succeeds. He continues to wear down the US Champion. Kofi regains control at the turnbuckle Irish whipping Dolph following it up with a Monkey Flip. After commercials Dolph maintains control over Kofi still trying to wear him out. Both men counter each other after that. Kofi finally manages to hit the Boom Drop. The attempt for Trouble in Paradise was countered into a Sleeper Hold by Dolph which Kofi managed to get out of. He jumped off the top turnbuckle but nobody home. Dolph takes advantage with a scissor kick. When both men get up Kofi tried to go for the SOS but Dolph managed to grab onto the top rope. ZigZag for the win.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Rating: B

 

Consequences

Alberto Del Rio comes inside with Ricardo trying to explain that what happened to Big Show last week was an accident. Ricardo tried to explain what happened… in Spanish. Del Rio then says that what happened to Show was his own fault. He finishes things off wishing Show to get well soon.

 

Bella Twins vs Eve and Kelly Kelly

La la la la la la la la…… I’m not watching… I’m not watching…

 

Gurudakshina

Cole is in the ring and invites Alex Riley to explain his betrayal of Miz last week when he completely went berserk on the former WWE Champion and his ex-mentor. Riley finally turns up and Cole asks him to explain why he attacked Miz who had “taken him under his wings”. Cole says that Miz was emotionally hurt by Riley’s actions last week because Miz thought him as his brother. Alex Riley says that he it was the best thing that happened to him. Cole tells him to apologize to Miz and Riley tells him to shut up. He draws comparison between Cole and Miz. Loud Mouth. Check. Arrogant. Check. Annoying. Check. Cole then calls Riley a bastard.

Riley finally flips out on Cole but unfortunately before any harm could have been done. Miz attacks Riley from behind. The two men start brawling all over the arena. The ramp. Check. Outside the ring. Check. Stands. Che… Oh. Miz ran away.

 

CM Punk (w/ Maon Ryan) vs Rey Mysterio

Punk and Mysterio start things off back and forth. Mason Ryan’s presence was felt very early in the match when he slammed Rey to the ringpost from the outside. After the commercials Punk keeps control over the little guy wearing him down with head scissors. Mysterio tried to counter and manages to set up Punk for the 619 who quickly slides outside from under the ropes. Rey still takes out Punk with a Suicide Dive. After sending Punk back in Mysterio uses his high flying athletics to bring him down again and again. Roll up for the two-count. Punk quickly takes advantage with a back breaker. He was going for the GTS but Mysterio counters and sets Punk up for another 619. On the other end Ryan tries to interfere but Mysterio takes him out. Punk takes advantage and finishes things off with a kick to the head.

Winner: CM Punk

Rating: A

 

Steve Austin was in Jimmy Fallon’s talk show talking about WWE Tough Enough.

 

I believe congratulations are in order

A somber kHarma is in the ring talking about what happened last week when she broke down into tears in the middle of the ring. She talks about her dream of being a WWE Superstar and all that she had to go through to become one. She says that she is pregnant and as a result she cannot compete for some time. The Bella twins interrupt her and made fun of her size. They start taunting her because of the fact that she cannot wrestle because of her pregnancy. kHarma menacingly tells the Bella Twins how she hopes that after one year the two are still around.

 

Another funny promo for Capitol Punishment.

 

Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne

Swagger dominates over Evan Bourne initially. Why do I see another squash match in the near horizon? Oh wait. Guess I was wrong. After being on the receiving end for almost the entire match Bourne pulls an upset victory rolling Swagger up for the 3-count.

Winner: Evan Bourne

Rating: C

 

We are shown what happened earlier that night when Truth went on the rampage all over the arena from the merchandizing stands to harassing Cena fans.

 

R-Truth vs John Cena

Cena had barely started things off with  Truth when Truth stepped out for a breather and also to yell at Cena fans. After coming back in Truth begins to take control but Cena managed to counter. Once again Truth rolls out and once again starts yelling at Cena fans. This in-and-out thing goes on some more when finally Truth begins to walk away through the audience stands. Cena goes after him but Truth manages to knock him down and return to the ring just before the ten-count.

Winner: R-Truth

Rating: D

After the match Truth goes over to the father-son duo from earlier and takes their coke, takes a sip and throws the rest at the father’s face. Cena runs in to save the day as Schizo-Truth runs away. We end the show with Cena consoling the father and wiping the coke off his face.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen that’s all for this week. Until next time…

 

PS: Google “Gurudakshina” if you don’t know what it means.

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