We open Raw with the Rowdy One and Luis Gonzales talking about Hulk Hogan with the Iron Shiek in a parody of an SNL opening skit.

“LIve from New York, it's Monday night Raw!!”

I like the new RAW theme song. It’s “Burn it to the Ground” by Nickelback. Good stuff there. There are 20,538 fans in attendance at MSG, and the King and Cole promote the main event featuring DX vs. Jeri-Show vs. The Undertaker and John Cena.

We start with the Miz entering the arena. It’s an interesting “throwback” short ramp setup here to allow more people to view the show live. The Miz takes up a mic to address the crowd, talking about how he’s the US champ, and he says the Yankees are also champs, but they didn’t win their title, they bought it. Predictable crowd response ensues. He then cracks that Piper, who couldn’t differentiate the Iron Chef from the Iron Sheik ordered him to defend his title. He waits for his opponent.  MVP runs out to his music sporting a Yankees cap, and the match gets underway.

Match One:  WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz© vs.  M.V.P.

Miz takes control early with MVP retaliating. Miz ducks outside, and MVP follows, throwing him back in. Miz takes out MVP’s knee as he is getting back in the ring, and now Miz throws MVP back in. Cover for 2. Rest hold by Miz, and MVP fights out, then hits a big flapjack and some elbows, setting up the “Ballin’” elbow drop. MVP tries the Playmaker, but Miz counters it, however MVP is quick and hits the big kick for 2. Miz kicks out and sends MVP to the corner, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pinfall win.

Match Results: Winner: The Miz© @ 3:46 via Pinfall (Skull Crushing Finale)

Match Rating: **1/2*

Too short for these guys. They could do more.

Commercial

We return to a recap of Ricky Hatton vs. Chavo Guererro last week, which Chavo lost. We then cut to the ring to see Chavo awaiting his contest this week. Cue Santino Marella’s music, and he comes to the ring in a bulky looking New York Rangers Hockey Jersey.

Match Two: Chavo Guererro vs. Santino Marella

Santino waves Chavo off and removes the Rangers jersey to reveal a Giants jersey then a Knicks Jersey followed by a Jets jersey, Mets jersey, a Phillies Jersey, and finally a Yankees jersey. The crowd responds accordingly. Finally, Chavo has had enough, and hits the Three Amigos on Santino. He goes to the top to set up the Frog Splash, but Santino rolls across the ring, still laying down. This ensues twice more before Hornswoggle comes out and distracts Chavo in his DX garb. Santino rolls up Chavo for the 3 count.

Match Results: Winner: Santino Marella @ 2:48 via Pinfall (Schoolboy Rollup)

Match Rating: 1/2*

Bad match, and the comedy didn’t carry it.

“Break it Down” hits and DX comes out to a thunderous ovation.  HHH plays the crowd and says they’re not here to have fun, or to plug merch. Michaels then plugs their book, and they say they’re not here to do that. They hype their match at Survivor Series. HHH says DX won’t implode. They will be a unit, unlike Jericho and Big Show. It doesn’t matter which member of DX wins the match at SS, but the title will come home with them. Now HBK addresses Hornswoggle. HHH says Hornswoggle won’t listen to logic or legal threats. So they invite Hornswoggle out to be considered for membership in DX. Hornswoggle comes out, chops and all.

Are you ready? Hornswoggle looks ecstatic. “Llllllllet’s get ready to—“ HHH hits Hornswoggle with a pint-sized pedigree! And if you’re not down with that, we got two, words, for ya!! DX has a mini stretcher with a DX logo on it to haul out Hornswoggle.

Commercial.

We come back to RAW.  Plug for Jay-Z’s new CD. A nice History of Wrestlemania Montage plays. Good Montage there.

Piper is backstage when he’s approached by Chris Jericho. Well, at least we got 40 minutes into the show before the obligatory Jericho-guest Host interaction. Jericho says Piper should have a picture of Jericho in his pit, and he never asked Chris for advice. Piper has something special for Jericho though. He fetches Chris Masters, who makes his pecs dance to some music. Divas title match is next.

Commercial.

We’re back and there’s a special guest Ring announcer. Judah Friedlander, “The Greatest Athlete in the World” of 30 Rock fame is in the ring.

Match Three: WWE Divas Championship Match: Melina© vs. Alicia Fox

Judah announces that the match will be a “Lumberjill” Match. The “lumberjills” surround the ring, and the match officially starts. Alicia takes control and tosses Melina out of the ring, only for the “lumberjills” to toss her back in promptly. So she tries again with the same result.  Alicia covers quickly for 2. Melina then takes over with some clotheslines but then she gets hit by a Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker when coming out of the corner for 2. Alicia goes for another backbreaker, but Melina counters into the Last Call for the 3 count.

Match Result: Winner: Melina© @ 1:38 via Pinfall (Last Call)

Match Rating: 1/2*

Complete waste of time. As bad as Chavo and Santino.

After the match, bedlam ensues, with Team Mickie standing tall.

Roddy Piper will be live in the ring, next!

Commercial. Survivor Series will be live on Pay Per View next Sunday.

We’re back and Cole and Lawler announce that USA Network just signed a contract extension through 2013 with the WWE.

And as promised, here comes the Rowdy One. He’s very happy to be in front of a live crowd in MSG, and he plays to the fans. He made a career on not being nice, and only New Yorkers would tolerate it. He took on legends like Lou Albano, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, and if you mess with Piper you'll be bald or dead. He is the reason Hulk has no hair. Piper has one more dirty nasty job to do. He wants a match with Vince. He knows Vince is a big fan of his because when he did “Real Sports” with Bryant Gumble, Vince was watching, and he fired Roddy the next day in MSG. The fans boo, and Roddy says his kids said the same thing. Cue Vince McMahon.

Vince and Roddy stab back and forth with age references, and Vince says his ancestors would be ashamed if he faced Piper. Vince is officially retired.

Hot Rod says officially retired is synonymous with coward. He's been in 7000 car crashes and 30 matches, no, reverse it. He's beaten cancer, he can beat Vince. Vince should be accountable to the people who made him a billionaire. Roddy says Vince will come down and tell these people he's retired, and Piper will be there to retire him in full.

Commercial. 3 Hour Raw Thanksgiving special next week. Jesse Ventura  is hosting.

We’re back. Here comes Sheamus. There’s a recap of Sheamus retiring Jamie Noble. Now he talks about how he already retired someone in 4 weeks on Raw. He makes an open challenge, but no one answers. So he goes and picks on the timekeeper, throwing him across the commentators’ table. Lawler stands up, and catches a pump kick in the mouth for his troubles. Sheamus leaves as some refs check on Lawler and the Timekeeper.

Commercial

We’re back now and Michael Cole is paired with Matt Striker. They review the Survivor Series card.

Evan Bourne enters the arena. There’s a recap of Swagger getting beat by Bourne with Miz’s distraction. Speaking of Swagger…

Here he comes!

Commercial.

Match 4: Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

The match is joined in progress as Swagger is in firm control in a waistlock. Bourne gets free to be hit by a clothesline. Bourne hits a quick roll up for 2, followed by a sick jumping knee.  Swagger is backed to the corner, and Bourne charges, but Swagger counters, however, Bourne lands on his feet and hits another flying knee. He tries for a springboard moonsault, but Swagger catches him and turns it into the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the 3 count.

Match Results: Winner: Jack Swagger @ 2:00 via Pinfall (Gutwrench Powerbomb)

Match Rating: **

Again, too short for quality workers.

Next up Piper will confront Vince (again)

Commercial.

We’re back again and Piper is in the ring in Jeans and a Hot Rod shirt. Cue Vince—No, It’s Randy Orton’s music, and here he comes. He tells Piper that he doesn’t know if Vince is coming, but Piper has a bigger problem because Orton is here. He can’t think of a better way to relieve his recent stress than to put Piper down tonight. Orton attacks Piper, who retaliates only to be knocked down and stomped. Orton lines up the punt and stops inexplicably, then Kofi’s music hits and Kofi chases Orton from the ring. Kofi follows and they spill into the crowd for awhile, exchanging punches and then they go back into the ringside area, with Orton in control, hitting Kofi on the steps. They end up in the ring, and Orton takes the boots to Kingston and lines up the punt, only to be countered by Kofi. Kofi follows Orton outside and they spill into the sound producer’s area. Refs finally try and fail repeatedly to split them up. Kofi smashes Orton on a table, then hits him in the head with a folded metal box. Kofi tries to jump on Orton from the rail above the table, but the Refs stop him. But not for long as he lands the Boom Drop through the table. Kofi stands menacingly on the railing over a broken Orton.

Segment Rating: ****

While not an official match, this action went on for about 10 minutes and REALLY made up for some of the weak action earlier.

Main Event up next.

Commercial. Hulk Hogan has a new DVD out. Didn’t he sign with that other company? Also a plug for Nickelback.

Cena is backstage, talking about MSG and hyping the Main Event Tonight. He doesn’t like the handicapped match with DX, but then he’s told it’s not a handicapped match, but a Triple threat. He’s never backed down from a fight. If DX asks if he’s ready, he says yes, cause the Champ is Here.

Jeri-Show enter the ring.

Commercial

We return to DX entering the ring, followed by Cena. Taker has druids with torches.

Match 5: Triple Threat Tag Team Match: DegenerationX vs. Jeri-Show vs. John Cena and The Undertaker

Cena, Michaels and Jericho start. Brief exchange and everyone tags out. Taker, Show and HHH square off.  Taker and HHH gang up on Show, Taker takes Show out of the ring, exchanges moves with HHH, and a tag to Michaels. Taker and Michaels exchange blows, and Michaels goes to the ropes. Show spears Taker and smashes Michaels, then tags in Jericho. Jericho with a Lionsault but Michaels blocks, Jericho goes for the Walls, goozle by Taker, then tag Cena in who bulldogs Jericho. Cena and HHH exchange rights, then Show Chokeslams  them both before Taker takes out Show. Jericho covers Cena for 2. HHH tags HBK. Michaels hits the flying elbow on Jericho, and, then tries the SCM on Cena, who counters into shoulder blocks, then the protobomb, and 5 Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for AA, but HHH tags in blind, hits a Spinebuster on Cena, then finishers all around, and Cena gets the win!!

Match Result: Winners: John Cena and the Undertaker @ 7:06 via Pinfall (Attitude Adjustment)

Match Rating: ***1/2

Good Main event saved the show.

Taker then Tombstones Cena in the ring and celebrates by himself.

Show Rating: ***

Average show with less than 18:00 wrestling overall. Good segments saved it from being a complete waste.