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Brett Favre is a Viking, And Kurt Angle's Going To Jail, What A Week! Welcome back Ladies and Gentleman to this weeks edition of Straight Blazin! We will be taking a look at the August 18th edition of Extreme Championship Wrestling. The last few weeks it has seemed like they are trying to jam TOO many matches down our throats and its really hindered the product. I’m hoping this week we see an improvement from the last few weeks and the groundwork is laid down for SummerSlam effectively.. But be prepared for a recap of DX and Raw that will take 15 minutes I am sure. But on with the show!
The first thing we see is a movie type preview, And it seems to be the Hurricanes new intro video as his music hits and out struts Gregory Hel.. Err.. Hurricane Helms. He is looking pretty bad ass I guess for being in a mask and cape.. I do think he looks better with his long hair in the whole outfit. HUGE reaction from the crowd for Hurricane Helms and he will be a definite crowd favorite. His opponent is Paul Burchill escorted by Katie Lea who looks scrumdidiliumptious.. Willy Wonka FTW, And so the match goes on!
Paul Burchill v Hurricane Helms
These two are right at it with back and forth action! Burchill is yelling at hurricane and playing the typical heel and he lands some good solid shots in on Helms. Hurricane responds by dumping Burchill to the outside and going up to the top rope for a flying cross body!
Now we get a commercial.. >_<
We are back and Burchill is in control and working the ground game with a nice armbar and then a nice sleeper hold. Solid slow paced ground heel work being utilized by Paul Burchill,. Hurricane Helms fights back a few times but mounts no good offense whatsoever. Finally he catches himself in a position on the turnbuckle where he fights back and throws Burchill off of him after several head butts. Helms then does ANOTHER flying cross body
The two stagger to their feet and it’s a race to trade punches as they stand in the middle of the ring and trade blows. Hurricane Helms gets the upper hand and delivers a nice turnbuckles chest smash into a running neck breaker, front face bulldog. Close count. Another solid offense move from Hurricane Helms and another close count. Now these two are really heating up!
Burchill gains the offense and gets on the top turnbuckle to try something with Hurricane. Helms reverses it into a Hurricanrana off the top rope and gets a close 2 count. Helms goes for the Shining Wizard and misses, Burchill goes for his suplex type finishing move but Hurricane ducks behind him and delivers the Eye of The Hurricane, HORRIBLE looking move, and he picks up the win! They keep hyping him as a different star then Gregory Helms.. Lame..
Match Rating
3.5/5
Match Review Solid opening match and one of the better ones over the last few weeks. Burchill shows what we all know by that he can go in the ring, and Helms shows why he shouldn’t be a backstage interviewer.
Now we are backstage where there is a new interviewer, strange, and she is interviewing Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer basically addresses the fact that him and Christian are friends, etc etc. While he is talking William Regal comes sauntering up and agitates him and asks him how he is feeling after getting beat. Dreamer responds by “Do you wanna do this?” Regal replies yes and out of nowhere Vladimir Kozlov comes and attacks Dreamer from behind! The two beat Dreamer down into a pulp and Kozlov speaks Russian and the two exit the screen. Odd…
Commercial Break… Want to kill 20 minutes? Didn’t watch Smackdown this week? Take a trip over and read Madam Snapshots Smackdown report.. One of the sharpest written articles there is, and Snappy is pretty smart too. So go check out that article after your done reading mine. ^_^
And we are back with Christian coming to check on his fallen friend Tommy Dreamer and Dreamer is conscious and sitting up. Way to write Dreamer off TV I guess.. And now next is the biggest travesty to television I have ever seen, As well as a freaking waste of my 15 minutes, and yours.
THE ABRAHAM WASHINGTON FAIL!
Below are the bullet points..
-Big APPLAUSE sign
-People boo when it says Applause
-Abraham Washington calls them blind and cant read, and tells them get to Hooked On Phonics, At least he laughs at his own jokes..
-Hypes Summerslam, That gets cherrs
-Washington claims his ratings are highers then all the talk shows..
-He PERSONALLY attacks Dave Letterman, Ha, That made me chortle a little
-Hes interviewing… Wait for it..
A SHATTERED DREAMS PRODUCTION!!!!!!!
GOLDUST SNITCHES!!!
Cool.. So heres what Goldust did to Abraham Washington, He was sans wig by the way
-Washington calls him strange, And calls him a walking talking academy award
-Goldust says “He is a little bit different, No doubt about that”
-Washington asks him about Sheamus
-Goldust goes to respond and does his “ticks” thing.. Freaking hilarious..
-Washington asks if there is some “exorcisms” going on up here or something.. FAIL
-Calls himself a star and the crowd boos him
-Goldust goes to sip some water and twitches a bit, and Washington starts asking what his problem is
-Washington is convince Ashton is “punking” him
-Goldust explains that 6 years ago he was Electrocuted, as we all know, and hes on medication
-Washington says he is taking Placebos, Goldust responds what are placebos, Washington goes “Kinda like Gazebos” and then says he has no idea what they are
-He makes fun of Goldust’s tick and the announces Sheamus out to the show as well and him and Goldust stand off
-Washington tells them to sit down
-Sheamus then tells him he’d rather stand, says the word fellows 3 times, and calls Goldust a gold freak.. All with a pretty bad accent
-Then Goldust and Sheamus go nose to nose before Goldust “ticks” spark up again and he spazzes out and leaves Sheamus staring at him oddly
-Washington thanks his guests for coming out as the two continue their staredown and we all die a little inside
Anyways, Backstage we have the new announcer asking Tiffany how Tommy Dreamer is doing. She says that he suffered a concussion and that he is being sent out to undergo some tests. As well she says if Christian can find a partner to take on Regal and Kozlov, he is more then welcome to.. I SMELL AHMAD JOHNSO.. Err.. Ezekial Jackson!
Commercial Break
We are back and
WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!!
Zach Ryder v Yoshi Tatsu
Zach Ryder is, of course, the heel in this match and he is showing it in this match as he grabs control of the match and keeps it to the ground with submissions and when Tatsu gets up he slams him back done one way or another. Beautiful looking heel wrestling from Zach Ryder. Yoshi Tatsu countered a back body drop into a armbar but Zach Ryder quickly gets out of it and sends Yoshi to the ring apron. Yoshi somersaults OVERRyder to come back into the ring and does his leg kicks as usual.
The two tie up in the corner and Yoshi delivers several kicks to Ryder and gains the initiative until Zach Ryder dodges a high kick and goes for the Zach Attack! Tatsu reverses and slams him to the match and does a Rolling Thunder to Ryder and then he tries a springboard into the ring and Ryder makes him pay for it and nails him. He pins him quickly and gets the victory!
Match Rating
2.5/5
Match Review
Solid little match, Zach Ryder is looking as ever impressive as usual. It was a little short but I thought it did the job well!
Commercial Break… GO OUT AND BUY THIS DVD. Rise and Fall of WCW.. One of the best companies to ever exist.. This DVD should be a decent one.. Im going to grab it for sure.
On another note im so sick of seeing the Summerslam commercial with the DX theme spliced in.. Also if DX will actually MAIN EVENT the PPV like reports are saying? I quit.. DX v Legacy is NOT better the a TLC match and Orton/Cena..
MAYWEATHER HOSTING RAW = EPIC WIN
Raw Rebound Next.. GO check out The Vince’s review on Monday Night Raw! Only thing I have to say is the most epic line of the night came after DX was attacked by Legacy.. “Yes DX, We Are Ready” WIN!! A close second to McCauley Caulken punking out Chavo Guerrero..
Backstage we have Christian talking that he will take on the two by himself and he doesn’t care. A big noise is heard and the door slams loud and Christian says “That will do” Like I said.. Ezekial Jackson anyone? Or Hornswoggle REALLY ticked off cause someone stole his lucky charms.. Ill go with the first one though…
Christians music hita and he walks out to a HELLISH pop from the crowd and dances around on the stage. He starts walking to the ring and the announcers say we will find out who his partner his when we come back..
ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK *dies*
Hi I am Mr. Blaze’s brother, Tim Snoggins.. Ill be finishing the report now that he has dies from over exposure to commercial breaks. Lawsuits are coming Vincent.. Lawsuits are coming..
Back from commercial, And you guessed it, Christians partner is Ezekial Jackson!!
Christian and Ezekial Jackson v William Regal and Vladimir Kozlov
Christian and Regal tie up first in the ring and Regal shows off his technical prowess against Christian and the two do a little chain wrestling, looks like these two could have a VERY good match at Summerslam.
My bloody power went out for about 4 mins.. Lol.. It came back on and Kozlov and Christian were in the ring so I apologize if I missed any big spots or something.. Ezekial Jackson is ITCHING to get into the ring and Christian is being downed by Kozlov. Regal gets the switch in and keeps the offense ntil Christian finally gets some offense in and nails a springboard Sunset flip and gets a close 2 before Kozlov breaks it up. Zeke comes in to chase out Kozlov and the ref punishes him by trying to make him leave.
Zeke then slams Christian down hard to the mat with his finisher and Christian is laid out cold. He motions to William Regal to pin him and he does picking up the victory. Kozlov then nails the Iron Curtain on Christian for good measure and it now seems these two will be a tag team, and a damn impressive one at that. Zeke hits ANOTHER finisher and the 3 stand over Christian and Regal raises their hands as the show goes off the air.
Match Rating
2/5
Match Review
Too short, Not much of a main event, Nice swerve at the end though..
Show Grade
C+
Show Review
A couple good matches, But it was too riddled with other shows stuff.. Main event that was a waste of time, and WAY too many commercial breaks. It just didn’t reel me in at all.. Even Goldust on Washington show couldn’t save this show for me..
Stay Blazin!!
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