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The Bash by The Fist for 06/28/09 |
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WWE’S THE BASH!
Let’s get my first Article and this party started!
CHAMPIONSHIP SCRAMBLE MATCH CHRISTIAN VS. JACK SWAGGER VS. FINLAY VS. TOMMY DREAMER (C) VS. MARK HENRY The match starts off with Christian and Jack Swagger in the ring. This is probably because all of the other wrestlers are getting old and broken, and limiting their fight time is imperative. The match is fairly slow paced to start before the timer ticks down and Finlay enters the ring! Jack knocks Christian out of the ring, messes with Finlay’s eye, and gets the first pinfall. Yep, this’ll CERTAINLY last throughout the entire match… Right? Finlay rolls out of the ring to get checked by a doctor, and Christian and Swagger battle in the ring a bit more until Tommy Dreamer arrives. Then Mark Henry. A few more meaningless pins take place giving it to Mark Henry, then back to Swagger, and then finally to Tommy Dreamer. He holds out the last roughly minute and a half to retain the title. Match Rating 2/5 I never am really a big fan of mass combat. It cheapens the whole of the match in my opinion. You may feel differently, but we can always discuss that in the comments section. ^_~
Edge comes in to see Teddy Long backstage. He complains about how he should be in a triple threat match for the title or Teddy might get fired! Teddy fires back with “Maybe you shouldn’t have ditched your wife, you jerk.” (Yes, I paraphrased. So what.) Edge leaves with a sad look on his face. Aww!
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH CHRIS JERICHO VS. REY MYSTERIO JR It’s a mask vs. title match! Jericho sought to rescue Rey from the “addiction of his mask” where as Rey just wants a title. As Rey tries to get back into the ring A pair of springboards into a moonsault for Rey gets only a two count. It was pretty to watch (I wish Madam Snapshot had that move. >_>) but flashy won’t get the win. Rey goes for another hurricanrana, but Jericho counters with a Walls Of Jericho! Rey pulls himself to the rope, but the damage is done. Well, I thought that until Rey jumped off the ropes, looking for a flying crossbody, only to get countered with a Codebreaker. Jericho takes his sweet time going for the pin, and Rey kicks out yet AGAIN. -_- More back and forth action before Jericho goes to Rey on the turnbuckle again. Rey knocks Jericho down, lands the 619, and goes for the pin, only to be caught by Jericho who counters it into the Walls Of Jericho. Rey powers out and tries for a sunset flip, but Jericho counters it into his own pin. Rey counters THAT pin into his own pin. Jericho COUNTERS THAT back into the original pin, before Rey just kicks out, but not before Jericho pulls off Rey’s mask! But wait?! Rey’s got a second mask on! Mysterio uses the confusion to land another 619 into a pin. Rey wins it. Match Rating 4.3/5 It was actually pretty entertaining. But, really, did anyone not see this coming? Really? Easily the best match of the night.
Jericho is mad. Oh, he’s SUPER MAD. There’s got to be rules against having two masks! Really! Super Really! He runs backstage to talk to Teddy Long, and demands his rematch for the IC belt right now! Teddy says, “Nah, I’m cool. Get out.” (Again, artistic license.) Jericho whines more and threatens Teddy’s job and leaves in a crying huff.
GRUDGE MATCH DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. THE GREAT KHALI For the record, I’ve never seen Dolph Ziggler in action. So far, I am not impressed by the pre-match montage. Oh, I use a chair! Woo. *facepalm* The match begins with a little bit of slow dude vs. loud guy action. Dolph does a lot of yelling as Khali manhandles him for most of this match. The pyros fire off, and oh noes! Kane has arrived! Why is he here? Dolph uses the distraction to hit Khali with a chair to the leg, while Kane climbs into the ring Kane scares Dolph off and takes the chair and slams Khali with it. Kane slams Khali over and over with the chair and walks out. Dolph runs out and covers Khali for the 1,2,3. Match Rating 1/5 Chairs and interference? Bah, I could have sworn this was a PPV, not ECW. If I wanted a cheap match like this, I wouldn’t have paid to watch this.
McMahon is backstage with Teddy Long, and poor Teddy is getting slammed with insult after insult. But, he’s on probation, what is Teddy going to do to save his job?!
UNIFIED TAG CHAMPIONSHIP THE COLONS VS. PRICELESS Wait, they don’t want Priceless to be called that anymore? Lemme change that….
UNIFIED TAG CHAMPIONSHIP THE COLONS VS. PRICELESS LEGACY Before the bell even rings, Teddy long comes out to the ring, with a change of plans. The new competitors are Edge and Chris Jericho as the new team?! Triple Threat Tag Match? Wow. I need to change the title for this paragraph now again? *sigh*
UNIFED TAG CHAMPIONSHIP THE COLONS VS. PRICELESS LEGACY VS. EDGE AND CHRIS JERICHO Now the match begins and people start tagging themselves in and out like popcorn. A series of kicks by Primo get only a 2 count. Legacy take control while Edge and Jericho wait for a chance to tag in. Edge tags himself in, misses a Spear on Primo, and gets tagged out by DiBiase. Poor Edge. Watching them stand outside frustrated and impotent is pure hilarity. Hot Tag to Carlito, clothesline, knee lift, springboard elbow smash. 2 count as DiBiase comes in for the save. Primo attacks DiBiase, Jericho (out of boredom I think) lands a Codebreaker on Primo. Carlito tosses Jericho to the floor and resumes his assault on Rhodes. Edge finds one of Rhodes hands unaccounted for and tags himself in while Carlito lands a Backstabber on the illegal Rhodes. Goes for the worthless cover, only to find Edge Spearing him. Edge squeaks the win! Match Rating 3/5 It’s an awesome thing when finishers come from nowhere. Though useless without for most of the match, I look forward to seeing what’ll happen to these two now…
Legacy have a pow-wow backstage and discuss how sad they are that they aren’t tag champs with Randy Orton. He says “Meh, I’m about to get my face crushed with a sledgehammer. I’m a tad preoccupied.” (Yes, I plan on doing this to every quote from now on. Get used to it.) DiBiase gets sad after being called nothing more than a glorified errand boy and runs off. Rhodes says he’ll talk to him, but it doesn’t look good for Randy Orton.
WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH MELINA (C) VS. MICHELLE McCOOL It’s a women’s title. Are we really concerned here? I just don’t think the women in the WWE take wrestling truly seriously. The match begins with a lot of hair and screaming. It ends pretty much the same way. Michelle McCool wins the title after a Faithbreaker. Match Rating 1/5 Nothing I can say here is going to make me happy about having had to watch this match.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH JEFF HARDY VS. CM PUNK (C) It takes about three minutes for the first snapmare to get this match actually started. It picks up around minute 5 when Punk tries for the GTS, Hardy avoids. Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate, Punk gets out of it. Hardy lands a Whisper In The Wind, but a kick out at 2. Hardy knocks Punk to the corner and tries to flatten Punk, only to get caught in a GTS position, Hardy gets out of it. Hardy pulls a ToF out of nowhere and goes for the Swanton Bomb, only to have Punk merely sit up to get out of the way. Punk tries for a GTS, gets countered into ANOTHER Twist Of Fate and goes for the Swanton, lands it, 1,2,3 But wait! Punk’s foot was under the rope, and the ref reverses the decision. Jeff throws a hissy fit, giving time for Punk to get to his feet. Jeff goes for another Twist Of Fate, Punk counters with the GTS, Hardy elbows him in the face to get out of it, and Punk falls to the ground holding his eye. The ref breaks up the fight to check Punk out. While the ref’s back is turned telling Hardy to back off, Punk kicks the ref giving Hardy the win by DQ. Hardy wins, but Punk retains. Match Rating 3/5 I love watching people get crushed after almost winning.
Afterwards as Punk was walking up the ramp, Hardy lashes out and attacks without regard. Several refs come out to break it up, but Punk is still the champ.
The Colons go backstage to harass poor Teddy Long. He lets them know that “I ain’t getting’ fired for you chumps. Shut your mouths and get the hell out of my office!” He’s a smooth guy when I talk for him.
Orton makes a phone call, but gets an answering machine. Yep, that’s the whole promo. Wow.
GRUDGE MATCH JOHN CENA VS. THE MIZ This is a sad match. Miz has control for most of it, but Cena stands up. Five Knuckle Shuffle, Attitude Adjustment, STF. Ding ding. Match Rating 1/5 The Miz should have lost, sure. I just would have liked a longer match with at least one move from the Miz dealing any sort of damage. Yes, I wrote less about this match than the Women’s title match.
THREE STAGES OF HELL MATCH TRIPLE H VS. RANDY ORTON (C) Three stages of hell huh? First match is a normal match. Second is a falls count anywhere without DQ. Third match is a stretcher match. So, this will be three different paragraphs, one for each fall.
Match 1 : One Fall – It starts with Orton working on HHH’s leg, but HHH gets tired of fooling around and gets a chair. Orton wins by DQ.
Match 2 : Falls Count Anywhere – Round two starts with the chair. This is bound to end poorly, right? 10 Chair shots later, we take it outside. HHH lands a Pedigree and pins. HHH wins round two.
Match 3 : Stretcher Match – This is where the match actually started. HHH pushes Orton up the ramp on the stretcher, hops off at the top, and kicks the stretcher into HHH’s leg knocking it and him back down the ramp. HHH gets up, and Orton throws him into the stairs. Takes HHH and the stairs into the ring, but HHH counters the stairs with a toehold getting Orton’s face pounded with his own stairs. Orton back on the stretcher as HHH pushes up the ramp again, but Orton kicks HHH in the face. Goes for the Face Punt, but hits the stretcher instead. (HA!) HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters with a body drop onto the stretcher. Orton pushes the stretcher up the ramp. HHH falls off the stretcher. Orton goes for the RKO, HHH counters and lands his own Pedigree. HHH loads him up, but Rhodes runs out and stops it. HHH stops Rhodes, but DiBiase comes out to save Orton as well! HHH gets pounded until he finds his sledgehammer. Legacy gets flattened, but Orton gets a stage piece and hits HHH with it. HHH falls over the stretcher and Orton pushes if over the line. Orton wins.
As Orton’s gloating, HHH gets up and sledges him in the back, knocking Orton down. Match 3/5 It was ok, but I still hate interference. *shrug*
PPV Overview This wasn’t an amazing PPV, but it wasn’t terrible either. Every match involving Jericho was entertaining to me, and the way Hardy was screwed out of the belt was hilarious too. PPV Rating 3 / 5 Views: 1,308 
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COMMENTS |
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Comment # 1
I liked the article. The descriptions didn't make me want to take a nap so massive kudos to you. Only comment regarding the show is that I was really pulling for Legacy winning Tag Gold. Edge and Jericho will do for now though
Posted by MTM on Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Comment # 2
lol
Posted by patsey crosson on Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Comment # 3
CONTINUED SHAMELESS PROMOTION!
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 4
YAY FOR A PARTNER WHO IS RELIABLE!!
Good stuff Snappy
Posted by Johnny Blaze on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 5
Awesome report and i loved the mentioning of the Orton phonecall promo, and the 'Accurate' quotes were funny too.
Posted by Reaver on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 6
YAY FOR CHEAP SHOTS MADE AT ME!!!
Nice work Snaps.
Posted by Mr Pain on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 7
Thank you everyone.
Reaver - The quotation 'reimagining' is going to be a staple of mine. lol. I might have got bored if I don't giggle halfway through working on it.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 8
Entertaining if not completely objective. Good read, Snaps. Looking forward to more reports.
Posted by Malice on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 9
man... i dont have any idea of why the people tougth that jericho would retain the IC... taking off mysterio mask once is already a bad thing... but come on TWICE??? i think that would make him suicide or something like that...
well... i am over, just wanted to coment about this match...
(for me the rest of the PPV was worthless)
Posted by Caio "Lo Mestre" on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 10
Automated message activated.
I heartly endorse this Article/Report/Nuclear Reactor Sub Station/Tweenie Sitcom Rerun fest/Coca-Cola Advertisement/Slaughter House/Concert/Oprah Book Club Meeting
Posted by The Nemesis on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 11
Caio - I was convinced that they'd never let Rey lose his mask in the WWE. The marketing and the sales of those masks have go to be worth some serious cash. I don't think the WWE would give up something like that so easily. Apparently, they agreed.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 12
A nice recap. One question though. Why does everybody trash teh Diva matches? If they were out there for their in ring talent then I could understand it. But does anybody really think that is why they get hired and put on display....I mean in the ring? They do their job well. They give us eye candy so our whole night isnt spent staring at big sweaty men rolling around in their underwear grabbing each other. In that reference they do a great job and should be given apropriate praise. The only thing that really surprised me from the matches was that Big Show didn't interfere with Cena Miz. Keep em coming Mr. Pain.
Posted by Nomad on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 13
Sorry meant keep wm coming The Fist or Madame Snapshot or whoever wrote this
Posted by nomad on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 14
They shouldn't ever take the mask off of a masked wrestler, in mexico if a masked wrestler loses his mask then its a huge dishonour, or did WWE forget that?
Posted by Astatine on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 15
lol. Well, my opinion on the Women's division is this: "These are supposed to be trained athletes who are paid to do three things. 1) Look great. (I'll concede that they do look pretty.) 2) Have stage presence/mic skills (Again, some do, some don't. But, for the most part they are adequate.) and 3) Be entertaining combatants.
#3 is the crux to this whole thing. They typically aren't. In an average match between two women, there might be one spot of note. It's usually the one that ends the match. Yes, they have a tough job, and my expectations (as a woman) are probably higher than most. I don't need them to bleed, or hell, even be believable. I just need them to be entertaining. So far, WWE has not produced a capable *shudder* Diva yet. Reason being is, in order to do that, they need to produce at least *TWO* Diva's, and that's a nearly impossible task.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 16
shit report..even worse ratings.This was a great ppv.So i sugjest you stop writing.
Posted by Smackdown #1 on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 17
Smackdown #1, you seem to be a bit on the "slow" side of town... or maybe illiterate... grow up or dont say anything
Posted by PoliceMan on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 18
Didn't really care for the article, but not to bad. Anyway, you should have quoted what the superstars said instead of making what you wanted to put in, since it was clear as crystal that you didn't seem to like Orton, Edge and Chris Jericho.
Anyway, The Bash wasn't something to talk about for ages, but it did have its moments. Matchs like Doplh Ziggler V.s Khali was pretty boring, I mean its ok to put it in Smackdown but not in a PPV. I wanted Dolph to win, and was pretty sure of it, but I really didn't think Kane would come... but WWE should have different weapons, I mean the ones they use today are pretty much Steel Chairs today. Why not something different, maybe Barbwire for one match out of the whole year, thats all I'm asking. But they don't want to get there superstars hurt, but maybe some new weapons would do. Anyway, I guess we'll be seeing Kane V.s Khali rivarly for awhile now and see some matchs between the two for some weeks. I suspect a tag team on Smackdown with Kane and Dolph Ziggler V.s Khali and R-Turth possibly.
John Cena V.s The Miz, I was really hoping for the Miz to win, but it appears not. It would be a big upset really, and would work I believe. Maybe The Miz could have took off the padding for a turnbuckle and hit John Cena with Brass Knuckles, or maybe even make it look like Cena hit him with a chair or something like that. But still, Cena is like Hulk Hogan, he gets beat up almost all match, then at the end finds enough strength to do his finisher and win the match.
ECW Scramble Match wasn't to special, I really don't look those matchs. Sure, its a different and new kind of match, but its a bit boring. Tommy retaining his title was pretty obvious. Plus, the Divas matchs are so boring, they just scream and slap each other a bit.
I think we all knew that Rey would keep his mask, I was suspecting Rey Mysterio to win by DQ, having Jericho retain his title, but I was wrong and didn't suspect it coming that Edge and Jericho would come into the Tag Team match and then win the titles. I say good, Smackdown doesn't really have any Tag Teams, and now Smackdown has the titles. Plus, the Colons have held the titles for to long, Legacy really should win some belts soon, Cody Rhodes and Ted I mean, make one of them win U.S title or something, I was really suspecting them to win the titles, but I was wrong.
I hate Jeff Hardy, so I was happy to see him lose, his dreams just got crushed when it seemed like he won the title, but he didn't win the title. Plus, this worked out well for WWE, Jeff seems to be getting crushed in PPVs a lot this year. I sense a heel turn for CM Punk in the not so near future, its possibly already starting and from the reaction from the fans, I believe it is starting.
Randy Orton V.S Triple H, Randy won the first match by DQ, Triple H won the second match, and then it all comes down to the last match, plus this wasn't really Three Stages of Hell. I would make it first A Falls Count Anywhere, Steel Cage and then a Ladder Match if possible. Now that would be three stages of hell, but no, it wasn't like this, anyway it was so obvious Legacy would come out and save Randy Orton from losing, I would like to see Randy when a PPV without winning by using any dirty tricks.
Article Grade: B-
Posted by Knuckles on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 19
Smackdown #1 - I'd say I'm hurt, but without anything to back up your opinion, I'm just going to have to ignore you.
Knuckles - Honestly, I am quite a fan of Edge and Jericho. Edge has amazing mic skills and can keep an arena engaged with his every action. Jericho has great ring presence and skills, and is also quite good with the mic. Seeing them both as Tag Champs makes me look forward to what will happen with/to them. As for Orton, well, I'm kinda indifferent really.
Everything else you said I pretty much wrote in the article, so... yay?
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 20
very good for your first article snappy. Only thing I didn't like was that I didn't get as much of the match as I wanted. The 3 stages of hell recap was awesome. So looking foward to more from you :)
Posted by Me on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 21
Me - Well, I apparently did too much showboating, and hit the word limit pretty fast. I actually had a lot more for the Jericho/Mysterio match I'm sad I had to get rid of. I figure when I'm doing a regular show (Read : Not a PPV) I'll have less to cover, and get to actually use more than half a paragraph for a high level match.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 22
Wait a minute.....the Divas are supposed to wrestle????? Holy crap. (Insert shocked gasp complete with hand to gaping mouth). I thought they were just supposed to walk around for a few minutes and then leave...I honestly have never seen them do anythign else. Maybe my mind blanks on it when they come out.
Ok seriously now. You make a vaild set of 3 points. I do see where you are coming from on the issue of the "ladies." I jut think that we get what we pay for with the, lets be honest, eye candy. ANd before outside influences start overreacting, the first part of this response was a bit of comedic releif......a joke to those who didnt catch it.
Posted by Nomad on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 23
what i would do it make the WHW title WWE title and ECW title unifie and then give orton the title in a triple threat for the belts!
then get cody and ted to win the US title and Interconital title and make HHH reform a huge DX stable with HBK, billy gun, road dogg, x-pac returning and have a huge DX vs Legacy fued which will rock the WWE up for good!
10/10
Posted by donald trump on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 24
I was there it was pretty fun alot of ppl left during the womens match and the john cena match and the crowd started chanting we want christian during the tag match and when jeff hardy won but didnt exactly win the crowd started chanting bullshit which was fun
Posted by Mexican Afro on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 25
Nice work Snappy.
I can't wait to see future articles from you. ;-)
This makes me really want to watch the ppv now. :o)>
Posted by The Sexy Inversion :o)> on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 26
WWE sucks.
I have not been entertained by them in years now.
quite a shame really.
Posted by Midian on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 27
Well, I didn't actually read all your article, sorry, but I think you have your own style, good luck in future articles, only one side note, in my opinion, too many Enter's
Posted by DClaw on Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Comment # 28
DClaw - I respect your opinion, but I felt that if I left it as a giant wall of text, even fewer people would read it. It's also why I put in what match was what, so people could just skip to what they were interested in... You know, except for the Women's Championship match or the Cena/Miz match.
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Comment # 29
Good article, very entertaining.
I thought the 3 stages of hell match was booked very well. Triple H knew that by using the chair he would get DQ'ed from the one fall match, but would already have a weapon in his hands for the falls count anywhere match and be able to tie it up by winning that, also causing much more damage to Orton than H himself took in his own loss. It was great to see some thought actually going into a match.
People always complain about interference, but isn't that what a heel stable is for? To use the numbers game so that they can screw over the faces. Unless a heel is a huge monster character (which Orton isn't), they aren't supposed to, and don't need to, win cleanly every time.
Posted by Jack West on Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Comment # 30
im assuming jack west has never seen an iron man match and is surprised by the DQ?
also
"I love watching people get crushed after almost winning."
you're an evil reporter!
Posted by hazzzarrr on Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Comment # 31
who won the womens champ
Posted by lincoln on Thursday, July 02, 2009
Comment # 32
Michelle Mcool
Posted by The Vulture on Thursday, July 02, 2009
Comment # 33
Still say bring back Curtis
Posted by The One on Thursday, July 02, 2009
Comment # 34
Great report, Madam Snapshot and very entertaining of a read.
As far as 'Divas' go, I agree with you. If all they are supposed to be is eye candy, then put them on the side of the ring and let them clap for a wrestler like the first divas such as Sunny and Miss Elizabeth did. Return the eye candy to manager status and get them out of the ring, but they are supposed to be 'sports entertainers' and frankly many aren't, or even close, not athletic or entertaining.
And on a personal note about this certain Women's Championship, I am sick of Michelle McCool winning and getting titles because she is banging the Undertaker. My two cents on that.
As for most of the rest of the PPV, I pretty much had it figured out. Did not know how Ziggler would win against Khali, but giving him a push was in the cards so he had to win. Was figuring on Legacy getting the tag titles so we could see the rebirth of a cheap imitation of the Horsemen but we'll save that for Night of Champions when Edge and Jericho's egos colide.
Expected Legacy to help Orton keep the belt, though I'd REALLY like to see DiBiase Sr give his son a shot at Orton's belt when he is the GM of RAW on Monday. (Fingers crossed) Would be a great ending for the whole stable fiasco it has built up into, in my opinion.
And personally was really hoping for more of a complete beating given to Miz than the typical Cena five move ending. Would liked to have seen him dragged around the arena and bounced, banged or dropped off every hard surface in the place, personally, but we can't always get what we want.
Again, great article, Snapshot, and looking forward to your next work.
Posted by MSW on Thursday, July 02, 2009
Comment # 35
Great work :D I'm glad I didn't pay for this pay-per-view! lol
Posted by The Even Sexier Sommerlund on Friday, July 03, 2009
Comment # 36
“Meh, I’m about to get my face crushed with a sledgehammer. I’m a tad preoccupied.â€
That is epic win.
Posted by Chris Legend on Sunday, July 05, 2009
