The Bouncing Articles: Royal Rumble '07

The Bouncing Articles

By:

The Bouncer

             I haven't spoken a lot about this pay per view, so why not give people a little more information about this? Let's look at 2007's Royal Rumble.

MNM Vs. The Hardyz

             This actually was a spectacular match. I just think it would have been better if Jeff Hardy was replaced. John Morrison was not my favorite at the time, but he was sure somewhere at the top. The ending was okay, and it was a nice back and forth match. It ended when the two Hardys (or whatever the plural version of Hardy is) hit their finisher on John Morrison.

ECW Championship: Bobby Lashley Vs. Test

             I thought WWE was finally going to start making Test look good again. During the Attitude Era, Test looked great. Now, he was being just like everybody else that has been brought back (except Y2J). It ended when Test got counted out. Is this how you treat your Attitude Era stars? Many people wish that era back, and this is your best? It wasn't just Test. It was also bad with D 'Lo Brown (years after) and Big Daddy V (Viscera was great as Viscera). Let me also make a side note here. Although the guys that say that The Attitude Era is the best thing EVER are annoying, the even more annoying people are the ones that say that ANYBODY who prefers that era for this PG era is an idiot who knows nothing about wrestling, and should stop living in the past because the past already passed. Sorry if I get off topic, but I finally get the chance to rant about this. Wait, you know what? I will just save it for a future article.

World Heavyweight Championship: Batista Vs. Ken Kennedy

             WHY DIDN'T KENNEDY WIN THIS MATCH? HE DESERVED IT MORE THAN BATISTA! He had the performance of the night! After all these years, I am still complaining that he did not win. Want to know why? BECAUSE HE DID NOT WIN!! HE DESERVED AT LEAST ONE WORLD TITLE REIGN IN WWE!! It was an okay match, but it could have been a lot better. If it wasn't obvious enough, I was definitely pulling for Kennedy to win this match. Later that year he went on to win the MITB, which he wrongly lost. He was then put in 2008's MITB, which he wrongly got his theme changed. Also, he lost that match. Then in 2009, the worst wrestler ever (Randy Orton [who got Kennedy fired]) had to get Kennedy fired, and we are standing here right now. Batista did an okay job in this match, but nowhere near as good as his opponent. Kennedy clearly had it won, but the ref just HAD to get in the way. I wonder what would have happened if the referee was just an inch away from the impact....

WWE Championship: John Cena Vs. Umaga

             You remember when a last man standing match actually meant something? If this match was anywhere near decent, it would be thanks to Umaga. Umaga was a great wrestler, but John Cena is a terrible one. This was when John Cena's matches were terrible, but not as terrible as these 2011 TERRIBLE matches. It did not end in duct tape. Instead it ended with the second worst finisher of all time knocking out a WWE legend for the 10 count. John Cena shouldn't have been champion. Want to know who should have held the belt? Rob Van Dam was too busy at ECW. John Morrison was too busy with the tag titles. Kennedy was not on RAW (he was on SD!). The perfect person to hold it at the time is Snitsky!!!!

Royal Rumble 2007

              I will try to make this as fast as possible. Ric Flair and Finlay start it off. Ric Flair is the first to get eliminated (by Edge). A bunch of people started entering (as always), and time was flying back very fast (as always). Kane eventually came in, and it seemed that taking his mask off somehow started to make him SUCK at Royal Rumbles. Look at what he achieved with it on. Now let's look at his recent ones. He eliminates two people, and gets eliminated by and eliminated Booker T (King Booker at the time). The four main ECW originals (at the time) are participants. Sandman just jobs the hell out of that match, which he DIDN'T DESERVE!!!! Stone Cold gets 36 eliminations, but the person with the best beer gimmick can't last 14 seconds in it? Sabu doesn't do too well either. He lasts somewhat between 5 and 6 minutes. WWE really enjoys burying the great legends of ECW. It doesn't stop here either. Tommy Dreamer gets eliminated after 6 minutes by an unmasked Kane (Tommy was half of Kane's eliminations). Various people just come and go extremely fast like Kenny Dykstra (almost typed Kennedy Dykstra right there), Jeff Hardy, Carlito, John Morrison (we didn't know he would become as great as he is today), and Super Crazy. Keep in mind that I am not watching this match as I am writing this, so not everything is going to be in order, and it will not be organized, so sorry about that. The “greatest wrestler of all time” (I AM HIGHLY STRESSING THOSE QUOTES!!!!) CM Punk last almost 30 minutes, but eventually gets eliminated by The Great Khali. Some didn't consider this a 5 star match, and after years of long research, I found out why. Nobody said “Hey Colt Cabana” at any point coming into this match (or at least not any contestant).

             I thought I should just start a new paragraph right here. It will make it less “blobby”, so it is easier for you to read. See how much of a good person I am being to all of you? Anyways, I didn't get to the worst part of this match, yet. Prior to this, Rob Van Dam has had a record of always being in a rumble match to the final 6, but NOT THIS ONE!!!! Instead he is one of the seven people that get eliminated by The Great Khali. COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ANYBODY ELSE? WHY NOT SHAWN MICHAELS? HECK, WHY NOT THE UNDERTAKER???? At the time, I was pulling for Rob Van Dam to win this match, and I was really disappointed. The final 4 way just a joke. Instead of it being Rob Van Dam, Snitsky, John Morrison, and Carlito it ended up being Undertaker, HBK, Edge, and Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired). Edge, Undertaker, and HBK are tolerable, but you CANNOT, and I mean JUST CANNOT expect me to take it serious if the worst wrestler makes it this far into this match. He lasted 27:14 in this match, which is twenty seven minutes and fourteen seconds more than he deserved to be in it. The Great Khali (who was made out to be an “uber-monster”) lasted about 3 minutes. The Miz lasted 5 seconds (who would have known he would be as big as he is today?). Matt Hardy, M.V.P, Chris Benoit, and Hardcore Holly last a while in the match. This has gone on for a while, so I will just talk about how the ending is. Shawn Michaels kicks Undertaker in the face, which knocks HBK out. WHAT???? Okay, it knocks Undertaker out. Both are just lying down right there. Who gets up first? The person that gets kicked in the face or the person that kicked somebody right in the face? ISN'T IT OBVIOUS???? OF COURSE NOT!!!! UNDERTAKER GETS UP FIRST!!!! You can argue that is was with HBK's last breath that he kicks Undertaker in the face with, but if he would get knocked out, why would he kick Undertaker in the face? Also, how come when he was thrown over the top rope he seemed to be conscious? Wouldn't being thrown at that height be more likely to keep you down than kicking somebody right in the face? I was thinking it then, and I am still thinking it now. This just helps me prove that WWE does not care about being realistic whatsoever, which is stupid since guys like John Morrison and Snitsky tried their best to sell moves, while WWE just pulls stuff off like this. Still don't believe me that WWE is ridiculous? Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired) has won some wrestling matches CLEANLY (despite the fact that he can't wrestle AT ALL)!!!!

The Bouncing Q & A

Q: What are your top 5 KOTR winners?

A: Here is how it goes:

5. Randy Savage

4. William Regal

3. Kurt Angle

2. Billy Gunn

1. Ken Shamrock

             Well, that is it! I hope you enjoyed my review of this pay per view. It wasn't THAT bad, but it could have been a lot better. I enjoyed the matches, but all this negative stuff quickly overshadows the positive stuff that went down. You know what I say about you asking questions every article, and yea do just that. Well, goodbye!

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Here is another wonderful comment by Jim Rival everybody!!!! It is not like I was being sarcastic or anything when I said that. Maybe you should have read a little BEFORE that statement, then you would have a better clue as to what I said.
   
   YO, yo.
   
   Matt, I am sorry for having an opinion.
   
   Brian, why would I do that?
   
   Windstream, hopefully I will be able to get to it.

   Posted by The Bouncer on Tuesday, January 03, 2012

2. Comment #2

   Q. Of the past wrestlemania's,which do you consider to be the best in a top 10 order?(can be any match)

   Posted by WindStream on Wednesday, December 07, 2011

3. Comment #3

   can you shut up about Kennedy? If you love him so much go watch TNA and jerk off everytime he's on screen.

   Posted by Brian on Wednesday, December 07, 2011

4. Comment #4

   Can you stop being such a fanboy of Kennedy, he isn't and never was that good.

   Posted by Matt on Wednesday, December 07, 2011

5. Comment #5

   Huh, you say "should stop living in the past because the past already passed." Good advice, perhaps you should take it and drop the Kennedy thing finally.
   
   Plus you got you KOTOR rating backwards.
   
   *Opinion.

   Posted by Jim Rival on Friday, December 09, 2011

6. Comment #6

   Sir you are a complete imbecile

   Posted by YO on Sunday, December 11, 2011

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