The Bouncing Articles: The Current Champions

The Bouncing Articles

By:

The Bouncer

             Yes I know Cena was the champ the last time I did an article like this, and he is the champ now, but if I wait for it to change, well that would be years. ANYWAYS, let's look at WWE's current champions. This is about the 4^th, 5^th, or, 6^th time I do an article like this, well, let's get started!!!

Kelly Kelly as the WWE Diva's Championship holder

             Bring back the Cruiserweight Championship.

Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston as the WWE World Tag Team Championship holders

             You have one of the worst promo givers (Bourne) with one of the worst wrestlers (Kofi). Don't get me wrong, Evan Bourne is a great wrestler, but his voice IS SO DAMN ANNOYING!!!! Then you have Kofi. Guys, he just CAN'T wrestle. What else can I say? He just doesn't have the talent. I am fine with Evan Bourne as one of the champs, I just say remove Kofi and give Evan a GOOD partner. Maybe Yoshi Tatsu or Alex Riley.

Dolph Ziggler as the WWE United Sates Championship holder

             THERE YOU GO!!! AN ACTUAL CHAMPION!!!! He deserves more than this, but I will take it. He is a phenomenal athlete, and he deserves this. This is exactly what this title needs to get more prestige. I don't think he deserved a 10 minute title run. Either give him an actual reign as champion, or save his first world title reign. I really believe that he can carry the company as WWE's biggest heel. I don't think he would even have to resort to saying random stuff like “Hey Colt Cabana”. Dolph Ziggler is one of the best promo givers I have ever seen. Another thing I would like to address is his new theme. It isn't cutting it for me. I like his old theme A LOT more. Why is it that WWE always mixes up great themes, thinking they are good, when actually they SUCK???? Let's look at some. Shelton Benjamen (or Benjamin)'s, Dolph Ziggler's, Ken Kennedy's, Kane's, and more. Well, let's continue.

Cody Rhodes as the WWE Intercontinental Championship holder

             WWE's mid card title holders are GREAT!!!! You have 2 of WWE's greatest promo givers and wrestlers as your title holders. You would think that if 2 great people are holding the mid card titles, their world title holders must be GREAT, right? Nope. Only one is. Anyways, this will really help The Intercontinental Championship get the recognition it deserves, and this will also help Cody Rhodes get the recognition HE deserves. Maybe after he loses it, he can get a shot at The World Heavyweight Championship. It could go well. The greatest current Smackdown wrestler going after Smackdown's 'most prestigious' title. It could really work. Just as long as they don't put him against somebody with no talent, like Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired).

Mark Henry as the World Heavyweight Championship holder

             FINALLY!!!! AFTER ALL THIS TIME, HE FINALLY GETS THE TITLE!!!! He has been deserving this title for a long time, and WWE finally gives him the title. He actually got a clean win over Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired). I loved how everybody got mad when he won the title. I was LAUGHING because their untalented hero actually lost cleanly to somebody that can wrestle. Don't get me wrong, it was a terrible match. It's not Mark Henry's fault; he tried his best. Mark Henry was making sure NOTHING AT ALL would go wrong. I mean, NOTHING AT ALL!!! He had to be specifically coordinated. If he did The Worlds' Strongest Slam an inch away from where it was planned, he would probably be fired right now. We can also assume that Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired) tried to get himself injured (I'm not sure when he did, but it was probably through a back suplex which he could have overjumped), so that he can blame Mark Henry and get him fired. We know that the worst wrestler ever HATES giving the spotlight to someone deserving. ANYWAYS, yea, Mark Henry is a great choice to hold this belt right now. I would prefer it if John Morrison held it, but I am happy about Henry. I say give him a nice title reign, maybe to last a few months. Just DO NOT give him the same matches OVER AND OVER again. Speaking of repetition, let's go on to The WWE Championship holder....

John Cena as The WWE Championship holder

             REALLY???? AGAIN???? WHY????? ALBERTO DEL RIO WAS ONLY THE CHAMPION FOR LIKE A MONTH!!!! Okay, listen. Let's say that John Cena is actually good. HE STILL WOULDN'T DESERVE A REIGN LIKE THIS!!!!! Let's compare this to something. Look at your favorite movie. NOW WATCH IT CONTINUOUS FOR A MONTH. That would suck, right? Now look at the SECOND worst movie (since Cena is the second worst wrestler [Randy Orton {who got Kennedy fired} is the first worst, for your information]). Okay, are you looking at it? NOW WATCH IT CONTINUOUS FOR A YEAR!!!!! I mean, WOW!!!! AGAIN???? Who does WWE think they are entertaining? Who can honestly get entertained with the same thing???? Do you need more examples? Eat ONLY crackers, wait no, eat ONLY rice cakes for a year, and I guarantee that you will not like it. You might as well just show re-runs of RAW every week rather than producing a new episode because we are watching the same things over and over again anyways. The only thing that can go on like this that won't bother me, would be drinking Gatorade over and over again for a long time. Anyways, Alberto Del Rio JUST cashed in the briefcase. The person you are trying to make as a big heel cashes in the briefcase and holds it for only a month? Doesn't even make it passed one defense? Another thing that bothers me is that they had Alberto Del Rio SQUASH John Morrison. Whatever. I can rant for hours and hours. Let's just end it here. I will say who my ideal current champions will be.

The Intercontinental Championship: Cody Rhodes

Divas Championship: _____

Cruiserweight Championship: JTG

WWE World Tag Team Championship: The Dudebusters

United States Championship: Dolph Ziggler

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry

WWE Championship: John Morrison

The Bouncing Q & A

Q: What do you think the first thing WWE needs to do to get better is?

A: There are many things they can do, but there is one thing that is REALLY irritating me. I say that they MUST change Smackdown's theme.

             Well, that is it. Remember, if you would like to ask me a REASONABLE question about wrestling, then what are you waiting for? ASK IT!!! I will leave you with my Hell In A Cell predictions, because I did not expect for WWE to have a PPV so soon after the last one, so I just found out about it minutes ago. I thought everybody was joking about it being 2 weeks after. I wonder who would ACTUALLY fall for it and end up paying.

John Cena wins

Sin Cara wins

Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired) wins

Christian/Sheamus ends in a no contest

I don't care who wins the Diva's title, but I will just say Kelly Kelly for the heck of it.

GOODNIGHT !!!!

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Spanky, really? WWE is repetitive? Yes. I should NOT complain because they are repetitive. I mean, who enjoys different things?
   
   Goddamned Batman, cool.
   
   Jimmy Wang Yang, I like your comment. Out of all the other ones, you have the best one. Anyways, Cody doesn't have a lisp. One more thing, if Orton (who got Kennedy fired), didn't complain to Vince, Kennedy wouldn't be fired.

   Posted by The Bouncer on Monday, October 10, 2011

2. Comment #2

   1. how does the divas championship have anything to do with the cruiserweight title.
   2.Kofi is a good wrestler and can do moves that not alot of people can do.
   3.Kennedy(who got himself fired) was injury prone and careless in the ring. It just happened that Orton(who didn't get Kennedy fired) was the one who brought it up.
   4.I don't like Cena but he carries the company and makes money for them and will definetly go down as one of the best superstars in WWE history.
   5.Would anyone else want to see Randy orton(Who didn't get kennedy fired) knock some sense into The Bouncer?
   6.Here's a Q and A. how quickly would Orton beat you in a match?

   Posted by Fly on Monday, October 03, 2011

3. Comment #3

   Fly,
   
   1. It replaced it
   2. He can do moves others can't do, and yet he still manages to be a bad wrestler.
   3. Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired) got Kennedy fired).
   4. Even if that is true, it doesn't justify them making him champ 99% of the time.
   5. Nope
   6. That is a Q, not a Q and A.

   Posted by The Bouncer on Monday, October 03, 2011

4. Comment #4

   The cruiserweight title should come back, not necessarily to replace the diva’s. Maybe they should just select there diva’s based on wrestling skill instead of beauty contests (just a thought).
   
   Though Kofi may not be a great technical wrestler he’s not as crappy as you make him out to be, he has some great moves and quite a bit of potential (like for cruiserweights).
   
   Can’t say anything on the Dolph, he’s great. And you’re right about the theme music especially changing Kanes’ annoyed me. That one was just perfect.
   
   Your good friend Cody may be a great wrestler, but I’ll just never be able to take a wrestler seriously when he threatens people with a lisp…
   
   Mark Henry Champion, finally I agree. And it is a pain that Kennedy was sacked, but that contract was not terminated by Orton himself. I’m pretty sure WWE executives kinda have a say in that. And we all know what great wrestling minds they are.
   
   Then Cena… *sigh* Let’s just all hope het gets in a car crash gets stuck while the car is set ablaze, only to be rescued just in time to make a full recovery to be diagnosed with a career ending terminal illness. Not that I would ever wish that to anyone but after all the years of seeing that idiot get title after title, I think it’s the only way the universe can recompensate wrestling fans all over the world.
   

   Posted by Jimmy wang yang on Tuesday, October 04, 2011

5. Comment #5

   This is stupid and your opinions are stupid.

   Posted by The Goddamned Batman on Sunday, October 09, 2011

6. Comment #6

   First off I agree with Fly's comment second.
   
   You complain about Del Rio losing the title two weeks after winning it. Hmm if history serves my memory correct, Money in the Bank winners who cashed in and lost their title shortly after are almost guarenteed to have multiple reigns and some long ones. Prime exapmle "The Rated R Superstar" Edge. He won the WWE championship from Cena at New Years Revolution on January 8, 2006 then lost it later that month (on like the 23) at the Royal Rumble and would continue to trade the championship back and forth and ultimately end his career as a Champion. Funny Del Rio already has the belt back. Looks like he's taking up after the man he faced at his first WrestleMania (and in storyline ended the career of)

   Posted by Cameron "Spanky" Wagaman on Sunday, October 09, 2011

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