The Bouncing Articles: TNA????

The Bouncing Articles

By:

The Bouncer

             I get WAAAY too many requests to watch TNA, so now I will have to explain why I won't. I will pick them apart piece by piece, and hopefully show you guys some stuff wrong with it. Let's look at TNA!!

             Let me start this off by saying that I would LOVE IT if TNA had first place in the ratings. It would be great if they would step it up, or at least appeal to other people. Why? SO THAT WWE CAN ACTUALLY TRY TO GET THE FANS BACK!!! WWE has a monopoly in the wrestling business, so Vince can do whatever the hell he wants to do, and there isn't a damn thing anybody can do to change his mind. WWE is at a vulnerable state right now (with John Morrison about to leave), so can TNA pull it off? I HOPE SO!!!! TNA has the potential, but it looks like they do not want to beat WWE in the ratings.

             One thing they have better than WWE is their tag team division, but THAT DOESN'T SAY MUCH!!!! WWE'S TAG DIVISION IS GARBAGE!!!! WWE can easily fix their tag division, but they just choose not to. Now let's look at TNA's tag division. It is mediocre, but IT IS NOT GETTING ANY BETTER!!!! If Vince wanted to, he can make the WWE tag division respectable. Sorry if I keep bringing up Vince McMahon and WWE, but this is a WRESTLING article, and I need something to compare TNA to. Also, I will call it TNA. I am use to TNA, not Impact Wrestling. Here is a brain teaser; why did WWE and TNA change their official names around the same time?

             Let me also state that I will not watch TNA just because of Kennedy. Kennedy isn't even the best wrestler in TNA. Here is how the rankings are.

1. RVD

2. Ken Kennedy (YES KENNEDY)

3. Kurt Angle

4. Brian Kendrick

5. Kid Kash

             Anyways, Kennedy is a great wrestler, but TNA is so bad that the 10 minutes of air time he gets per show isn't enough. At least WWE had some form of other entertainment worth somewhat watching. I also see a WWE legend on the roster known as The Gobbledy Gooker. I looked it up and found out that he isn't a wrestler there. I hope he can give AJ Styles or Samoa Joe a few wrestling courses. You guys may be wondering what RVD and Kennedy are doing here. Let me explain. Randy Orton (who got Kennedy fired) got Kennedy fired, so Kennedy needed to find a new job. He decided to still use his phenomenal talents in TNA. Although a terrible show, Kennedy does not want to lose his house, so he I stuck here. RVD, on the other hand, just made a terrible decision.

             Another thing that I am curious about is the X-Division. WHAT IS IT???? I hear some people saying that it is like The Cruiserweight Championship. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ABYSS IS A HIGHFLYER???? A lot of TNA fans claim to be the “true wrestling fans”. Are you “true wrestling fans” telling me you don't know what a highflyer is?

             Okay, you are a wrestling company. What do you call your female wrestlers? Some way to end a match or another term for female star? I would most likely use ANOTHER TERM FOR FEMALE STAR!!! ANYTHING OTHER THAN KNOCKOUTS!!!!! WHAT IS NEXT??? THE PINFALLS??? HOW ABOUT THE SUBMISSIONS???? I know it is just a name, but how can I not address this? Some may argue that “they knock you out, so it is a great name”. Don't they also pin each other? You might as well call them the “victory decisions”.

             What is a wrestling pay per view? It is a compilation of big matches to either continue, start, or end feuds. There are also title matches in these pay per views. What is the main event? It is pretty self explanatory. It is the MAIN EVENT of the pay per view. It is suppose to be the biggest match. Let's look at TNA's version of a main event. The best main event they ever had was Rob Van Dam Vs. Sabu. I will just randomly pick a main event. Let's see. Jeff Hardy Vs. Sting at Victory Road for The TNA Championship. The bell rings. Jeff Hardy pretends to throw his shirt at the crowd. He does it again. He does it again. He does it again. HE DOES IT AGAIN!!!! Before you know it, Sting pins him. That match lasted 88 seconds. That was their main event. It lasted 88 seconds. THEIR MAIN EVENT LASTED 88 SECONDS!!! IT WAS NOT EVEN 88 SECONDS OF A MATCH. IT WAS 80 SECONDS OF JEFF HARDY TEASING THE FANS, 5 SECONDS OF SQUASH, AND 3 SECONDS OF THE REFEREE COUNTING!!! YOUR MAIN EVENT EVERYBODY!!! A SQUASH MATCH. You guys can not justify this. Everybody knew he was not in the right condition, yet they decided to go on with the match. I am not going to take TNA seriously if they do stuff like this. WWE does have matches like this. THEY HAVE EVEN SHORTER MATCHES AT WRESTLEMANIA, BUT NOT AS THE MAIN EVENT!!!! This match has been beaten down over and over again. It looks like the only way this match could have been saved was by Sting saying “Hey Colt Cabana”. It would have received a 5 star rating. Anyways, it was unbelievable, EVEN FROM TNA. How can this be your main event? What was Dixie Carter thinking at this moment? If you are going to try and get your company some form of credibility, do not have main events like this. This should go without saying. This is why TNA had had such low ratings. They do ridiculous stuff like this constantly. They will not recover from this. THEY WON'T!!

The Bouncing Q & A

Q: Which wrestler do you think should change their finisher first?

A: I get what you are asking. I will go with Primo. Even though he barely gets a chance to hit it, I say he should still change it. Give him a springboard move as a finisher, not Carlito's finisher.

             Well, that is it. I hope you now understand why I do not watch TNA. Remember, if you have a REASONABLE question that you want to ask me, what are you waiting for? ASK IT!!!!

GOODNIGHT!!!!

Comments

1. Comment #1

   My only question, is how can you judge a show that you haven't seen? I agree TNA is bad. But it has potential. The roster in TNA is STACK most is old fossils and WWE regets but i believe they have more nature talent on their roster then the WWE does.
   
   For an article on the difference between wrestling companies you only make on wrestling comparision which was done for the wrestler's health and WWE has pulled shorter main events before. OOutside of that you talked a lot about the WWE and picked aparts names like Knockouts or X-Division instead of the real impressive talent they represent.

   Posted by Brian on Monday, November 21, 2011

2. Comment #2

   One Time WWE had a 8 second match as a Main Event ok it was not a PPV but it was the Main Event of Raw Sheamus chossing Zack Ryder as his Challenger and yeah Brogue Kick pin end 8
   seconds

   Posted by RobVilanova on Monday, November 14, 2011

3. Comment #3

   i got a reasonable question for you. do you live on being a douchebag who only has his job because he can write articles that look good? with that being said a few things that are wrong with what you was saying. first of all. Ken Kennedy is getting the respect he deserves in TNA. 2nd of all TNA's tag division sucks? honestly you havnt watch the beer money vs machine guns fued, there is no way wwe could create a better tag division then tna in its current state. and last but not least.... if you Actually watched TNA then the abyss X-Division angle would have made sence. now let me give you a little fact. any tna star could go to wwe and not be used right while any wwe star could go to tna and be used right. why is this? are wwe wrestlers better then tna wrestlers? Hell No! tna juss knows how to treat there wrestlers better

   Posted by anon on Monday, November 14, 2011

4. Comment #4

   Anon, how is that a reasonable question? People like you are the reason I add the word "REASONABLE" to every article.
   
   RobVilanova, exactly. They would make stupid decisions like that, but not as their main event.
   
   Fly,
   1. WHAT??? IT DOESN'T WHAT I CALL IT NOW??? What does that mean?
   
   2. Kennedy belongs with the name Kennedy. He belongs in WWE.
   
   3. When have they ever wrestlered?
   
   4. Knockouts is the opposite of diva?
   
   5. OBVIOUSLY I DON'T WATCH IT!!!! DIDN'T I EXPLAIN WHY I DON'T WATCH IT????

   Posted by The Bouncer on Wednesday, November 16, 2011

5. Comment #5

   Truth is, this entire article is hillarious. Dude, you don 't even watch TNA! You can't write a good article on something you've never seen! Anyway, if you came out of that hypocritical rock every month or so, you would know TNA put a weighf limit in the X Division, and Abyss hasn't been a part of it for a month or two. Great job dude, and thats the truth.

   Posted by The Truth on Wednesday, November 16, 2011

6. Comment #6

   Seriously have you jerked off on your keyboard so much that your keys are sticking? obviously your caplocks key is sticking and so is your 1 key and /. No wonder they are looking for a replacement for you.

   Posted by Jango on Wednesday, November 16, 2011

7. Comment #7

   1. it doesn't what you call it it is now impact Wrestling.
   2.It's Mr.Anderson not kennedy. kennedy is trademarked by wwe and he isn't in wwe anymore so you can't call a guy a name that he doesn't know anymore.
   3.AJ Styles and Samoa Joe put on a wrestling clinic when they wrestler. watch a ppv (not 2011) with daniels and styles facing or even better watch daniels, joe, and styles face eachother. joe is the best submissionst that wrestling has ever seen.
   4.impact females are called knockouts because when they were made they were anti-divas making them knockouts. NO PRETTY NAMES!
   5.I don't care how many people ask you. don't bother talking about something you don't like because you have no idea what you are talking about. you also don't watch impact so why do you think you can rant about it

   Posted by Fly on Tuesday, November 15, 2011

8. Comment #8

   Kane beat Chavo in 8 seconds for the ECW title. There is also WWF - 1994.11.26 - MSG - Diesel vs Bob Backlund. Also, 8 seconds for a title to change hands. Plus with the already mentioned Sheamus/Ryder match, you have WWE with 3 times in it's history having REALLY short matches. Where as TNA has an 88 second match, BUT do to the concern of Hardy's health.
   
   Argument invalid on that one.
   
   
   And it looks like everyone else already ravage your article of all it's holes and moot points.

   Posted by Jim Rival on Thursday, November 17, 2011

9. Comment #9

   Oh and another thing, WWE changed from the WWF to WWE years, years ago. TNA[Now impact wrestling] Changed their just recently.
   
   So yea, about the same time. Everyone knows that about 5 or 10 years is nothing more than chump change right?

   Posted by Jim Rival on Thursday, November 17, 2011

10. Comment #10

    Simply, WWE is better than TNA. Which is obvious in my opinion. But I dislike the hate going on for TNA! TNA is a great show, and you never know, it has chances to become a better company then WWE!

    Posted by Edgar Jackson on Friday, November 18, 2011

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