The ECW X-Press

2/17/2009

Pre-show run-through:
Last week, Oh Em Gee, it was Christian Cage! Cage made his ECW debut to defeat Jack SWAGGA and announce his intent to challenge for Swagger’s title at Wrestlemania. Swagger rebounded by defeating Fit Finlay at the No Way Out pay-per-view. Some other stuff is going on, like the debut of Tyson Kidd, but really it is all about Christian, isn’t it?

(opening video)

The Boogeyman vs. Paul Burchill

They stare down as Burchill tries to make sense of Boogey. He starts with some clubs and punches. Running knee for Paul, but Boogey nails some punches and a clothesline. Back elbow in the corner, and all the way to the other corner for Boogey to hit a forearm. Boogeyman hits a scoop slam then looks to bring worms out and gets rolled up.
Winner: Paul Burchill by Rollup @ 1:46

Well, okay then.
Match Rating: 1.0/10

Recap of No Way Out. It was a fair little match, though certainly dwarfed by both very impressive Elimination Chambers that night. We then learn that Christian-Swagger for the title will take place next week! Um…why? Why, when Mania is a month away and this is the best ECW match you could hope for on Mania?

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John Morrison (w/ The Miz) vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer gets an armdrag, but Morrison kicks out and hits a headlock takedown. Drop toe hold for Tommy followed by an armdrag and side Russian legsweep. Clothesline sends Morrison to the outside, where Miz provides the distraction for Morrison to hit an ARMDRAG OFF THE APRON. That was sick. Back inside, and mounted punches for Morrison, followed by a kick to the back. Morrison has Dreamer on the ground in an arm trap headlock, but Dreamer nails a snap suplex. More distraction by Miz, who is ejected. Neckbreaker for Tommy, and a back body drop. He nails the running bulldog. AHHH! Striker busts “DDT stands for dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane”, which is just remarkable that an announcer would take the trouble to memorize that. Morrison whiffs on a springboard enziguiri, and Tommy busts out his pump handle suplex. He goes up top but gets crotched. Morrison gets shoved off the top rope, though, and Dreamer goes for a double sledge. Morrison counters with a kick into the Moonlight Drive for the win.

Winner: John Morrison by Moonlight Drive @ 3:53

It could have used a lot more time, and suffered again from the Dreamer Syndrome as described last week. Still, Tommy taking that bump off the apron…I’ve got to give credit for that, it was pretty sweet. Good start, good sequence leading to the finish, just a really abrupt finish and not enough in between.
Match Rating: 5.4/10

Backstage, Woggle punches Finlay’s hands. Christian Cage interrupts to be rat-tailed by Woggle. Cage wants to make sure Finlay’s son isn’t a distraction in the tag main event. Finlay promises to keep his end of the deal up.

Tyson Kidd (w/ Nattie) vs. Caden Matthews

Takedown for Kidd, and a front chancery. Hammerlock and knee strike, mule kick and running dropkick. Kidd nails a snapmare and kicks to the back and chest. Matthews nails a back elbow but it is all for naught as Kidd nails a back spinning kick, slingshot legdrop to the outside and a springboard elbow (a much better one this week) for the win.

Winner: Tyson Kidd by Springboard Elbow @ 1:36

Good match for the length, but seriously…are they trying to have forty matches tonight? Good second week for Kidd, but the squash matches only go so far. Two more weeks of this and then they need to move him on to beating Burchill or Noble.

Match Rating: 4.3/10

Backstage, Tommy Dreamer is moping and Ricky Ortiz drops by to cheer him up. Ortiz tells Dreamer not to forget that he IS ECW. Rally up! Ugh. What an awful catchphrase.

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Big Drippy & Jack SWAGGA vs. Christian Cage & Finlay

Christian starts out against Drippy, who botches a throw. Christian nails some of his slap-punches, but gets flapjacked. Christian slips out of a powerslam and nails a chop block. Finlay is in and they hit a double dropkick, but Henry takes control and tags in Swagger who gets a spinning takedown, waistlock takedown, and rope break. Finlay with a short arm clothesline and Cage returns. Swagger picks him up but Cage gets a sunset flip and spinning kick. We tease dissention as Finlay is too busy with Hornswoggle to get the tag.

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Swagger hits a shoulder thrust to Finlay as we return, and throws him to the floor for a mugging by Drippy. Swagger works a waistlock and tags Henry back in to hit a headbutt into the Drippy Special (for the new readers, his usual line of club-kick-choke-club-punch-club-kick). Swagger with a back suplex and keeps working the waistlock as if he thinks he’ll get a submission. Jaw breaker for Finlay, but clothesline for Swagger. Drippy stands on Finlay, and Atlas hits a cheapshot. Swagger holds Finlay in a chancery and takes him back to the heel corner, scoop slam for Drippy but the big elbow misses and Christian is in for the hot tag. Christian nails Drippy, then Swagger accidentally nails Drippy and it’s one-on-one. Rollup for two for Cage, and he trips Swagger into the ropes and stands on him to choke him. Belly to belly slam for Swagger, Christian floats over a suplex and hits the Scorpion Death Drop. He goes up top, shakes off both Drippy and Atlas, but is distracted for a moment. Belly to belly superplex tease, but in the end Swagger falls and Christian hits a frog splash for a pinfall broken up by Drippy. He tries to slam Christian but Hornswoggle attacks and bites him in full view of the ref. Shillelagh to Finlay, but Swagger nails Finlay. Swagger Bomb attempt countered to an Unprettier!

Winner: Christian Cage by Unprettier @ 9:01

Swagger getting pinned for the third week in a row was kind of a ‘what the hell’ moment. I kind of figured that was what Henry was in the match for. Now, considering three of the four guys involved you expected this would be an excellent TV main event, and if that’s what you thought I think this was a little disappointing. It never really reached a high level despite getting the time needed for a main event.

Match Rating: 5.7/10

Overall Analysis:
It wasn’t a terrible show, but I was kind of left with a sense of “where did that hour just disappear to?” The main event was fair enough quality, but everything else was just too damned short, and we didn’t even make up for it with good segments. Now, the matches weren’t bad per se (with one glaring exception, as is usually the case when the Man of Boogey is involved), but the show just tried to do too much and ended up doing nothing. You can’t get everyone on TV at once, it’s like the ’07 TNA shows where they had twenty run-ins per match because their roster was too big for a one-hour show and they still wanted everyone on TV. Well, not exactly like that. But something like that. What I’m basically saying is that we need to fire boring people. More specifically, Boogey and Ortiz. But the show wasn’t too bad.

Overall Show Grade: C

Bonus: The Glide’s Bottom Ten!!!

Explanation: The bottom ten are the wrestlers I, for various reasons, don’t feel deserve their spot, the vicinity of their spot, or anywhere near their spot on the card.

10) JBL – I admit, JBL can cut a great promo at times, but he has just put on awful match after awful match since returning. Good promo work and awful matches would suggest he be relegated to the level of Santino Marella, but nope…he stays in or near the main event month after month.

9) Scott Steiner – Scott Steiner can’t talk, or rather, can talk but only in a seat-of-your-pants way that you have to pinch yourself every three seconds to follow. He can’t wrestle against average opponents and keeps almost killing people. Yeah, I think his time’s up.

8) Triple H – HHH isn’t a bad main eventer, but he doesn’t put on high-quality enough matches anymore to justify a new title reign every six months. His blatant manipulation of the booking to break Flair’s record is getting hard to watch.

7) The Great Khali – I hate people who can’t wrestle. I think this one is fairly self-explanatory.

6) Candice Michelle – She’s actually improved a lot, but dear god she bites off more than she can chew sometimes, especially since her latest injury return.

5) Carlito – Carlito’s weaknesses are covered pretty well by being a tag-team specialist, but nothing was more painful than his 2006 stretch on RAW where he had the abysmal feuds with Flair and Orton, two guys that “abysmal feud” shouldn’t even be an option for.

4) Mike Knox – Is boring. That is all.

3) Abyss – This might come as a bit of a surprise, as the general consensus among internet writers is that Abyss is pretty cool for how much punishment he’s willing to take. But for all the hype he gets, I find Abyss’ non-hardcore matches mind-numbingly boring.

2) The Boogeyman – I think I’ve covered Boogey just about enough.

1) Batista – Freaking Batista makes me so mad. He’s constantly in the main event, constantly putting on garbage matches, and then he goes and gets a title run as a show of faith from the company just because he whined and threatened to quit. Fact: I prefer the title runs to go to guys who have worked hard lately and earned it, not based on how happy they are with your company.

Views: 1,382

COMMENTS

Comment # 1

Brg: I know, its was called the "Killswitch" by Striker. Now why does that seem familiar? Here's a hint WWE, its the Unprettier, always has been, always will be

Posted by Sean Ryker on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 2

I'm travelling again

Posted by Sean Ryker on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 3

These kids and there catchphrases these days

Posted by EddieRox on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 4

Great article!!! But, I don't think JBL, Triple H and Scott Steiner should be in that list. The other seven are ok with me :) Keep on doin' such great job, Glide. :)

Posted by Witchfinder General on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 5

Agree never like Batista, never will like him

Posted by Bart Flyer on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 6

Earlier someone said "it's the Unprettier, always has been, always will be" in reference to Christian's finisher. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought that move was originally called the Impaler. Am I the only one that remembers that?

Posted by Mikey Bubonik on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 7

Christian renamed his finisher, but I don't remember what it was. Good read like always

Posted by Brg on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 8

Great article Glide. I don't really agree with you when it comes to Triple H. I mean why not give him world titles as long as the crowds love him, he makes every move look great and most important he is that damn good. I mean how do you explain Edge's title wins? Maybe that HHH is married with the boss's daughter but what can you say about Edge? HHH in my opinion is simply awesome

Posted by RockyVlad on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 9

Scott Steiner > You

Posted by Johnny Blaze on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 10

boogieman vs burchill was like some sort of deja vu because it look like the same match they had before.as far as the killswitch call it what it is the unprettier it will never change.

Posted by Woogieman on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 11

I disagree with JBL & Carlito in your bottom 10, especially Carlito; either way, I agree this was an entertaining read. Not as great as it used to be though...

Grade: B

Posted by Edgehead on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 12

Batista, JBL, HHH on the list...ok...but where is Cena??? dude...WTF?

Posted by Lukas on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 13

Cena gets enough crap talk. He wrestles well enough to be RAW's flagship guy when you factor in the immense crowd reactions he gets and his promo skills.

And lol @ everyone disagreeing with my list but for completely different people. :)

Posted by The Glide on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 14

There are much worse guys out there to make a list like that... Triple H, batista and JBL should be no where near that list... There are much worse names out there. Triple H is still easily one of the top guys in the wrestling industry. As for JBL,carlito and Batista I aint no fan but they aint that bad... What about Mark Henry, Goldust and TNA(Thats right...The whole of the new wcw)

Posted by Jon E Ace on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 15

this is so good

Posted by the icon on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 16

Striker to Grisham: "Hahaha. You called another man sexy!"

Posted by The Stupifier on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 17

There is way too much hype over Batista. He is constantly in the main event for no reason. He was nominated for superstar of the year. Why? He did nothing to deserve it. His only title reigns lasted 7 (World Tag Team Championship) and 8 (World Heavyweight Championship) days. He also botched a powerbomb and put John Cena on the shelf.

Posted by Wrestlebot Mark I on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 18

Triple H is a main eventer for a good reason. He puts on a better show on his worst day than many on their best. He does not belong anywhere on that list.

Some people that should belong on that list are the entire roster of TNA, who could find a way to make a piece of crap out of any match.

Also, what does ECW do with their time? Most of their matches don't last 5 minutes. Hopefully Christian can fix some of their problems. AND WHERE DID EXTREME RULES GO!

Posted by Wrestlebot Mark I on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 19

I said "guys who don't deserve their spot". Goldust is just a bit comedy guy who doesn't currently receive push as a wrestler. Henry is a joke at the moment.

Posted by The Glide on Friday, February 20, 2009

Comment # 20

hey guys im need someone to be my oponent next week so i can whip ya up a little bit!!!! okay so shut up!!!!

Posted by blue scorpion on Saturday, February 21, 2009

Comment # 21

We all know Boogey is a garbage wrestler. But a little known fact is, that if he wasnt so injury prone, he would've gotten a much bigger push by now. They tried to give him a boost with the whole JBL thing a few years back, but that didnt particularly pan out. Plus they are pretty high on the character, but don't want to give him to big a push, for fear of the character getting stale.

Posted by The Superstar Austin Creed on Saturday, February 21, 2009

Comment # 22

I agree with you having Triple H on the list. He's one of my favs but seems like he is phoning in his matches lately. he doesn't put on a good "show" like he used to. JBL is great doing the promo stuff but his matches doesn't back up his mouth. Steiner is at the end of his career, the rumors of steroids and his serious back injury turn him into a mediocre wrestler.

Btw, where's Kevin Nash on this list?

Posted by Porke Rynz on Sunday, February 22, 2009

Comment # 23

your lose i em the best

Posted by sdsdas on Sunday, February 22, 2009

Comment # 24

Funny WrestleBot how you say the "entire TNA roster" should be on the list and then say hopefully Christian can save things. It wasn't so long ago that Christian would've been included in the "entire TNA roster" and I bet you wouldn't have made the distinction if he still was. If you don't like TNA then the problem is most definately NOT with the ENTIRE roster (if even with the roster at all). Why do people have to ruin otherwise perfectly-sound arguments by tagging bits of cheap company hate at the end? That goes for the WWE haters just the same.

On that list, I would personally disagree with Steiner, Knox, Abyss and Boogey. I think Steiner can still work and promo well enough. I don't know why exactly but I've always kinda liked Knox, and the beard is awesome. I get your reasoning for Abyss but I think he's more entertaining than you do. And I don't think Boogey stinks nearly as much as you do, but I HATE the worms bit. I don't get particularly scared or "yuck" disgusted... it's just plain cruel is all. If they took the worms away and gave him some other yucky thing that wasn't alive while he chewed on it, then that'd be great.

Each to their own, though. And my opinion is weakened a bit by the way I couldn't really tell you who else four wrestlers I'd replace them with. Always interesting to know what people think about those kinds of things though.

Posted by Jane Ross on Monday, February 23, 2009

Comment # 25

HHH is and always will be THE backstage politician. I mean, marrying the bosses daughter? And then sending all of the workrate that made you great for start, to become lazy and boring? He was probably the hottest guy in the pre-attitude era; super psychology, phenomenal workrate, crisp moves, you name it. But not anymore. He gets more airtime than anyone in the company, he gets to pin every midcarder that threatens to break the glass ceiling, he's pulling an Hulk Hogan like attitude right now. Remember when he pinned 3 tag teams in 2 weeks? Remember when he pinned Morrison, just because? Remember, 4 or 5 years ago, when he pinned RVD at least once per month, and Jericho twice? You HHH lovers are the ones to blame for this. As long as the WWE fans simply swallow everything that comes from the WWE, there will be no reason to change.

Posted by havok on Monday, February 23, 2009

Comment # 26

Lol @ these so called ECW fans that think ECW should just have extreme rules matches....

Posted by TheCro on Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Comment # 27

Sadly only a few ppl could be a main eventer who are in TNA right noe like Booker T, Kurt Agnle, Rhyno who isn't givin a single push and right now he needs a shove

Posted by EddieRox on Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Comment # 28

batista is a main eventer for a reson he has dominated the best in the wwe: hbk undertaker cena

the 13 time world champ should not be on the list the king of kings is the number 1 superstar in the wwe bret hart and the rock was wrong triple h is the best there was the best there is and the best there ever will be

also orton's the worst superstar ever he punted:RVD triple h batista and even mr. mcmahon vince was about to do the right thing FIRE RANDY ORTON

Posted by matt on Thursday, March 05, 2009

Comment # 29

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Posted by THE HFGYTY on Sunday, March 08, 2009

Comment # 30

the old ecw was the best the new one is rubbish apart from matt sydal (evan bourne)

Posted by matt on Tuesday, March 17, 2009