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The ECW X-Press! 10/28/08




10/28/2008

Pre-show run-through:
Evan Bourne fought Matt Hardy at Cyber Sunday, not surprisingly coming up short, but it was still an excellent match and Bourne will have that belt before too much longer.  Unless, of course, he gets stolen by RAW before he can win the belt.  Meanwhile, Miz and Morrison defeated Cryme Tyme on the Pay Per View, meaning Cryme Tyme doesn’t win on PPV at the Palace of Wisdom.  Apparently Big Drippy is still angry.  Unfortunately, Hornswoggle is still on this show.  And will this finally be the week that Boogeyman comes to get us?  Read on…

Teddy Long, dressed as Ron Burgundy, brings us tonight’s headlines.  The Dirt Sheet Live!  6 Man Tag Match!  I’m a moron!  Hornswoggle speaks up to let us know whose mischievous prank it was to screw with the teleprompter.  AH!  AH-AH!!

(opening video)

Evan Bourne is out as Striker recaps a series of stills from Cyber Sunday.  Apparently because Matt and Evan are full of mutual respect, they are now tag partners 48 hours after trying to kill each other.  Hoorah.
 
Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, & Wussy Finlay vs. Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely, & Big Drippy
Bourne and Chavo reprise their match from two weeks ago to start.  Chavo with a headlock.  Bourne flips through a monkey flip, hits a running rana and armdrag, and tags in Finlay.  Shoulder block and headlock takedown for Fit.  Neely gets into the match but Finlay systematically dismantles him and gets Bourne in.  Kicks and the flapjack jump rana!  Bourne sends Neely outside and dives out on him, selling a heel injury as he gets up.

 

(ads)

 

Mark Henry nails a splash on Bourne as we return.  Neely comes in and does some stuff I’m hard pressed to call.  A sort-of spinebuster and zany leg hold.  Chavo with a double axe handle and cuts Bourne off from a tag attempt.  Henry (whose hair is ridiculous tonight) drops some elbows.  Chavo is back in to let Bourne sneak in a tag.  Hardy is in on the hot tag, clotheslines, scoop slam and bulldog for two.  Up top for the yodeling elbow smash.  Side Effect!  Bam tries to break up the count and drops an elbow on Chavo.  Twist of Fate to Bam!  World’s Wettest Slam to Hardy!  Hornswoggle attacks Henry (?) causing a distraction, shillelagh to Henry.  Atlas pulls Finlay outside, Hornswoggle dives on him.  Back to Chavo and Hardy in the ring, Chavo pokes Hardy in the eye and quickly sneaks in a Frog Splash!
Winner:  Chavo Guerrero & Team by Frog Splash @ 7:13

Nothing special.  Too much Henry and not enough Bourne.  Pretty formulaic.  But not terrible, and I actually dug the finish.
Match Rating:  4.7/10

Backstage, Lena Yada is with Tommy Dreamer.  Tommy says tonight is the 19th anniversary of the beginning of his career.  He still loves performing, and loves ECW.  His legacy has never been about wins or losses,  but about the fight.  Tommy says Jack should be able to beat him in five minutes.  But what happens if Tommy wins?  What does that say about Jack?

(ads)


Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger goes to a front chancery and lays in the boots.  Dreamer with an armwringer and sloppy one-arm DDT.  He works an armbar and some big punches to send Jack reeling to the outside, where Dreamer nails a dropkick through the ropes.  Back inside and Jack gets a kneelift.

 

(ads)

 

Swagger hits a suplex as we return.  He goes to a neck wrench which he turns into a dragon sleeper.  He lands some mounted punches.  Scoop slam, but Vader Bomb misses.  Dreamer lands punches, a swinging neckbreaker and an elbow drop.  He completely screws up the bulldog (Dreamer is OFF his game tonight).  Dreamer hits a big boot and a second rope shoulder block.  He goes up top.  Swagger follows him but Tommy hotshots his arm into the rope.  Sets up for the Dreamer DDT but Jack counters into a Northern Lights Suplex.  Dreamer turns a Doctor Bomb into a jackknife cover for two, but Swagger gets out and quickly picks up the win with a Doctor Bomb.
Winner:  Jack Swagger by Doctor Bomb @ 5:43

This was not quite as good of a match as I expected from these two, mostly because Dreamer was having one of his “look, I’m old and fat” nights.  God love Tommy but yikes.  Swagger had a little trouble making his offense work with Dreamer’s size, but I’ll admit the Doctor Bomb was damn impressive to end it.
Match Rating:  4.5/10

(ads)

The Dirt Sheet Live
Morrison is in the ring and actually receives a massive face pop from the females.  He’s bedazzled his abs again, which is just silly.  Miz says that they are the greatest tag team of the 21st century, and will soon face the greatest team of the 20th centry, DX.  Morrison says that he was in high school when DX formed.  Miz says since then, they’ve both graduated, created a great internet show, and become the greatest tag team of all time.  Michaels and H have won 16 world championships and started families.  Morrison wonders how well we know DX.

Morrison’s voice narrates a package comparing himself to HBK and making fun of HBK’s chaps.  Miz narrates a package where he says Triple H’s big hammer and crotch chops are just because he feels inadequate.  Huge heat.

 

Miz and Morrison welcome Fake DX.  The nose on Fake HHH is pretty much bigger than his head.  Fake H says –ah at the end of every word and asks if we’re ready.  Morrison yanks the mic on him.  The Dirt Sheet is not about tired humor, Miz and Morrison are elite.  Miz says if the mindless sheep out there don’t get it, that’s their problem.  In the last year, Miz and Morrison have done almost everything DX has in 11 years.  Fake HBK interrupts to say that he’s got two words for them.  Miz smacks Fake HBK down.  Moonlight Drive to Fake HHH, Reality Check to Fake HBK.  Be jealous.  Isn’t it cute how we’re pretending Miz and Morrison have a chance to win against DX?

Overall Analysis: 

…

…

Wait, the show’s over?

Holy crap!  That was short!  Um.  So.  I guess I can juggle for the rest of the article.  I can point out the disturbing lack of Boogeyman on the closest show we’re going to get to Halloween.  I can…um…I’ve got nothing.  This show was not impressive at all, though nothing particularly sucked.  Apologies for the short article, WWE gave me nothing to work with.
Overall Show Grade: C+

Val Venis Fanclub, cont’d
If you’d like the actual official VV banner, please check one of my earlier articles as I must self-censor myself from posting it again.  The list, Igor!

 

Discuss it on the wrestling forum

Comments

  1. Comment #1

    yey first post but yeah I haven't seen val on anything other then the game but on the game hes pretty good I thought that he was a jobber but god if hes a mid carder why the hell can't Vince use him more god hes really losing his touch

    Posted by drex on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  2. Comment #2

    This is very short, sounds like ads were on for about the whole show. Matt Hardy rules and Big Drippy well, drips alot. And can I join the Val Venis fan club? He rules!

    Posted by The Demon on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  3. Comment #3

    I am a val venis fan. Val for champ

    Posted by J Mysterio on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  4. Comment #4

    Nice work with what you had to work with, I've gatta say yourself, Vince and Curtis Kash are my top 3 (ironically you all do WWE reviews, concidence? I think not)

    Posted by Edgehead on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  5. Comment #5

    Sign me in for the VV fan-club.

    Posted by João "Scooter" Ângelo on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  6. Comment #6

    This sucks you should be fired and I should be the owner of the reports not you!

    Posted by Philly on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  7. Comment #7

    I disagree with philly this is a good article.

    Posted by sunshine on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  8. Comment #8

    Wasn't Bourne's injury real though, I know the news board isn't that reliable but still.

    Posted by Undead James on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  9. Comment #9

    I hate to sound picky but I think you made a mistake. 3rd line up from the end of the first match "World’s Wettest Slam to Henry!". somehow i don't think its possible for Henry to finisher himself but it'd b worth watching him try.

    Good article all the same. Shame WWE is trash at the moment. We Want Edge!!

    Posted by Hobosnail on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  10. Comment #10

    WOOT ME IS A FAN!

    Posted by Judas Desomas on Thursday, October 30, 2008

  11. Comment #11

    Thanks Hobosnail, that is like the third time I've been caught swapping Hardy and Henry's names. Five letters, same first and last letter.

    Posted by The Glide on Friday, October 31, 2008

  12. Comment #12

    yeahh.. two crappy matches and shows over -.-

    Posted by RKO on Friday, October 31, 2008

  13. Comment #13

    Sorry Glide, I've got guys using my name now.

    Good report as always.

    Posted by The REAL Philadelphia Phighter on Friday, October 31, 2008

  14. Comment #14

    the original ecw was better plus now doesnt have as much exciting matches

    Posted by nick on Friday, October 31, 2008

  15. Comment #15

    When Bourne landed outside the ring and hurt his foot I thought damn he REALLY did hurt himself. It looked that real! And it appears it was that real. A blurb report on TWG a couple of days ago said that he did indeed really hurt himself and may be out as much as 4 months. OUCH!

    Posted by Von Ryan on Friday, October 31, 2008

  16. Comment #16

    Why Has WWE Murdered ECW And Finnally Someone Remembered RVD

    Posted by The War Machine on Friday, October 31, 2008

  17. Comment #17

    As much as it pains me to say it, the war machine is right. I miss the good old days. The days where everyone was put into an extream rules match for breathing, the days where RVD would leap all the way across the ring just to kick a chair into someones face. Ahhh, those were the days.

    Posted by Hobosnail on Friday, October 31, 2008

  18. Comment #18

    Sign me up on the VV fan club

    Posted by kaptenmemo on Friday, October 31, 2008

  19. Comment #19

    sset me up

    Posted by jaykmanrulz2 on Wednesday, November 05, 2008

  20. Comment #20

    i agree with hobo snail

    Posted by jaykmanrulz2 on Wednesday, November 05, 2008

  21. Comment #21

    Sign me in for the VV fan-club.

    Posted by Ultimate Matlock Man on Tuesday, November 04, 2008

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