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The ECW X-Press 11/18/08



11/18/2008


Pre-show run-through:
Last week, Finlay and Matt Hardy had a very impressive title match to top off a very impressive show.  I made booking suggestions and talked about Rob Conway.  Also, John Morrison superkicked HBK on RAW.  That was pretty flipping sweet.  Apparently RAW isn’t content just to raid my talent pool, they also have to rub it in my face by making the guys they stole from me have random feuds.  See:  M. Knox, E. Bourne. 

(opening video)

We get Miz’s music to start.  While it isn’t Morrison’s, it still means a Morrison appearance, so I’ll accept it.  Johnny’s wearing a beautiful white jacket.  Miz is pulling off the ridiculous scarf look better and better each week.  They say JBL is their Survivor Series captain.  They say as long as he leads them to victory and not Krispy Kreme, he’s solid.  They make fun of MVP’s losing streak, which they really need to cut short.  Morrison mentions Kane’s ‘power over fire’.  Thanks for reminding us.  Ugh.

Moving on to their opponents, Morrison says that Khali isn’t that scary an opponent, because averaging him with Rey Mysterio just gives two 6-foot men.  ~IT’S SCIENCE!  Cryme Tyme’s only strategy is to leave the match early and steal from everyone’s lockers.  Captain Highpants, Shawn Michaels is the team captain.  Since he is such a legend, Morrison wants him to be the last one standing, so he can see he’s just a stepping stone for M&M2.0 to become the two greatest wrestlers in WWE history.

(ads)

We see the introduction of a new star and his girl, who appear to be in some sort of lame-ass Dance Dance Revolution gimmick.  Sorry, HBK is the only one who could pull that off.  And even then it was more of Prance Prance Revolution.

D.J. Gabriel (w/ Alicia Fox) vs. That Guy

That Guy gets a side headlock, and Gabriel sweeps the leg and dances.  Scoop slam, dancing elbow drop, and a unique arm trap fireman’s carry takeover.  Sweeps the leg again, European uppercut.  That Guy gets a back elbow smash.  Gabriel hits a flying European uppercut (um???) from the second rope.
Winner:  D.J. Gabriel by Flying European Uppercut @ 1:41


Um…wow.  I’ll give it some more time before I pass judgment, but this guy’s gimmick has some definite potential to drive me insane.  Weirdest finisher I’ve seen in a long time, I really doubt they’ll get it over.  His amateur stylings weren’t half bad.  Still, a match under two minutes isn’t enough to get anyone over.
Match Rating:  4.0/10


Backstage, Jack Swagger walks.  Hey!  Remember the time when RIC FLAIR had his last ECW Match?  Remember who he beat?

 


(ads)

Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer (Amateur Wrestling Challenge)

Swagger gets an immediate takedown for two points.  Dreamer tries his own but Swagger reverses for another two points, then lets Dreamer out to donate a point to him.  Waistlock takedown for Swagger for two more, another free escape.  6-2. Swagger wastes time and is arrogant, and Dreamer is having none of that, double leg takedown.  Back up, double leg for Swagger and he works a chinlock for a second, then gives Dreamer another free escape point.  Dreamer chant!  Swagger gets down in the referee’s position as in amateur wrestling, and Dreamer can’t resist.  Punt to the ribs!  Dreamer DDT!
Winner:  Jack Swagger by DQ @ 3:25


It worked for what it was, and I appreciate them doing something different.  It kind of made Dreamer look like a jobber, but Swagger got to do what he’s good at and that was much needed.  Middle of the pack.
Match Rating:  5.0/10

After the match, Dreamer grabs a mic to be distinctly unapologetic.

(ads)

Backstage, Ricky Ortiz flirts with Tiffany.  Jack Swagger interrupts to look for Teddy, who isn’t here.  Jack yells at Tiffany, Ricky defends her, Ricky blows his line epically after Jack mocks his handkerchief.  “They might like it more if YOU had one, and you—when—when you walked down the ramp they might mistake you for having a personality.”  Oops, there went the ‘good charisma’ part too.  Now Ricky just sucks.

I’m kidding.  I don’t judge someone on one botched line.  At least they’re letting two green talents have mic time.

Teddy finally arrives, and says that next week Jack will get Tommy.  The bad news?  EXTREME RULES MATCH!

(ads)

Matt Striker has his chalkboard and pointer!  He has written Team Batista and Team Orton’s members.  He puts over Henry as a guy who could potentially wipe our Batista’s whole team.  Speaking of the Silverback…

(ads)

That would have made more sense if Drippy had been in the ads, right?

Big Drippy, William Regal, & Cody Rhodes (?) vs. Kofi Kingston, Finlay, & Matt Hardy

Finlay vs. Regal to start.  I’d pay money to see these guys just stiff the hell out of each other for 20 minutes.  Finlay with a club to the neck.  Regal begs off.  Rhodes is in, as is Matt.  Back elbow and an elbow drop, scoop slam and random attack on Drippy.  Early cut to…

(ads)

They should be careful with that.  Go to ads too early in the match and you start looking like TNA.  Rhodes hits a scoop slam and knee drop to Finlay.  Ankle pick and stiff shot to Cody.  Henry in.  Punchpunchclubkick.  Punchpunchclubkick.  Nerve hold which looks more like a massage.  Drippy goes out of his comfort zone for a big boot.  Regal with some knee shots and a half nelson into a full nelson.  Sunset flip attempt by Fit but Regal headbutts out.  Who told him it would be a good idea to go back to that granny outfit?  Regal Plex for a near fall, Cody in but eats clothesline.  Kofi is in for a high crossbody.  “THE JAMAICAN’S GETTING HIGH!!!”  -Grish.  “…..” –Striker.  Kofi goes bonkers with his zany forearm shots and Bo-Bo legdrop for two.  Cody with a front kick and Drippy is in.  Kingston with some kicks, and goes for a crossbody, but is caught and hauled into a World’s Wettest Slam!
Winner:  Big Drippy & Co by World’s Wettest Slam @ 6:41


It wasn’t a particularly memorable main event.  It worked fine, and that’s about it.  Rhodes is still not very good, Henry is never any good, and between the two of them they ate up enough ring time that it was hard to be entertained.  Matt got a grand ten seconds of ring time.  So it was mostly up to Finlay to salvage this, and he did because he’s Finlay.  Good Kofi cameo, he’s looking fantastic.
Match Rating:  5.6/10


Overall Analysis: 

This was really an ‘ummm…what happened tonight again?’ ECW.  I appreciate that we didn’t get any obvious stiff matches, which I’m going to have to keep repeating for a while after the disaster 2 weeks ago.  But on the other hand, nothing stood out, we didn’t get a M&M match, and so the main event was the highlight of the evening and that’s not acceptable when the main event is so iffy.

Overall Show Grade: C+

Bonus Section:
LOOK!  VAL VENIS!

 

 

 

To claim your FREE Val Venis Fanclub Banner, right click "properties" on the above chart, copy the link and remove the word 'list' from the end.  Wahoo!  Free Val!

 

Val Fact:  Val's last appearance on WWE programming was the Wrestlemania online preview, where he fought for the #1 contendership to the ECW Title eventually won by Kane.

 

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Comments

  1. Comment #1

    First...And We want val

    Posted by Judas Desomas on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  2. Comment #2

    Good article Glide - and I was like 10 minutes from sending you mine, sorry.

    I hate it when articles are in weird orders like they're going to be :S

    Posted by Vince on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  3. Comment #3

    Glide good article. This article is probably better then everything on ECW but Big Drippys entrance music

    Posted by Lionman on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  4. Comment #4

    Niicceee as always, B+

    Posted by EdgeHead on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  5. Comment #5

    Always enjoy your rundown of ECW.

    Posted by Jane Ross on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  6. Comment #6

    Good quality as always. For some reason that Gabriel guy gave me an image of Chris Masters. Just saying (I swear if Helms carries on that I will drag him out of that bubble and beat him in a match myself).

    Posted by Hobosnail on Thursday, November 20, 2008

  7. Comment #7

    Awesome article, as always.

    Posted by KOD on Friday, November 21, 2008

  8. Comment #8

    Thanks Glide for putting me in the club, I really appreciate it!

    -UMM

    Posted by Ultimate Matlock Man-The newest member of the Val Venis Fan Club! on Monday, December 01, 2008

  9. Comment #9

    Boo the val venus fan club and join me 4 the HBK fan club and if you dont join it ill KICK YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT

    Posted by Nick on Tuesday, November 25, 2008

  10. Comment #10

    i wanna join the val fan club!

    Posted by The sicko on Tuesday, November 25, 2008

  11. Comment #11

    good

    Posted by imran on Friday, November 28, 2008

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