The ECW X-Press! 11/4/08

11/4/2008

Pre-show run-through:
Apparently Evan Bourne’s foot hurts.  Also, Boogeyman is apparently now a RAW comedy act rather than an ECW wrestler.  Fine by me.  However, it is still quite unclear who will be Matt Hardy’s next challenger.  My vote goes to Elijah Burke.  Like usual.  It would appear I don’t quite have the WWE’s ear, though, or Venis, Burke, and HBK would be holding the three world titles.  Meanwhile, Miz and Morrison jobbed to some old guys.  I wish they could have done it differently, but I still knew it was coming.  Why do I spend all my pre-show recap talking about RAW instead of last week’s ECW?

(opening video)

Matt Hardy is out to address the lack of a #1 contender.  Either that, or…beat up a jobber.
 
Matt Hardy vs. Bam Neely
Hardy hits a headlock takedown, but Neely reverses to a side headlock.  Matt hits a hip toss and clothesline.  Neely kicks Hardy in the back and hits three scoop slams accompanied by noises somewhere between roars and ‘moos’.  He breaks out the Ortonlock.  Which isn’t a fair joke because Orton is way beyond his chinlock-abusing days.  But hot damn, that was a funny joke when it made sense.  Matt is all plucky and tries to hit the yodeling elbow smash, but Bam is not impressed and catches him for a sidewalk slam.  Hardy turns a vertical suplex into a reverse DDT.  Leg to Bam’s neck in the ropes, swinging neckbreaker, and the yodeling elbow smash connect.  Side Effect!  Tornado DDT!  Hardy goes up top but Bam nails a superplex!  He tries to set Hardy on the buckle (for a second?), but Matt counters awkwardly into a Twist of Fate for the win.
Winner:  Matt Hardy by Twist of Fate @ 5:14

Not a bad match.  It started slow, and they picked it up in the end.  Bam Neely had a good showing, he seems to be getting better.  Matt did what he does, which never really has impressed me that much but it’s by no means awful either.  I’m gonna call this one a good match, pending that this isn’t the best match of the show, in which case it’s a letdown.
Match Rating:  5.6/10

Hornswoggle’s music hits, boring and annoying the camera so much that it retreats to…
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We come back to find out that Finlay has arrived to the ring and wants a shot at Matt Hardy’s title.  Matt knew this day would come, and…Big Drippy is out to nip this wonderful respectfest in the bud.  Once again, they do the smart thing and give Drippy the mic instead of Atlas.  Props.  Drippy says that it isn’t going down like this.  Mark deserves the shot more than Finlay.  Finlay says Henry has had his chance, and he only got four votes at Cyber Sunday.  Matt says he was one of them.  Henry says he doesn’t need words from Matt, just his title back.  Finlay, in the meanwhile, has never beaten him without a shillelagh shot or leprechaun shenanigans.  Doesn’t that go for everyone Finlay has faced since his face turn?  Finlay threatens Henry for bringing his son into it.  It’s fight time now, but Teddy Long is out to set things right.  One of these times they should send Mack out in his place and see if anyone gets it.  Anyways, our main event tonight is Drippy versus Finlay for the #1 contendership.

He’s the Boogeyman, and he’s coming to participate in inane time-wasting segments on a show other than the one he’s supposed to be on!  Hmm…too wordy?

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Ricky Ortiz vs. Jon Davis

They trade punches and clubs.  Dropkick and suplex for Ortiz.  Decent looking back suplex.  Diving shoulder block.  Big O.
Winner:  Ricky Ortiz by Big O @ 1:19

God, this guy is like taking boring and adding 40 pounds of hair.  I’m starting to think Ortiz would have trouble on Hulk Hogan’s CCW.  Probably not, because good god that show has some terrible wrestlers.  But even the thought speaks volumes of Ortiz’s crap.  He’s perky, though!
Match Rating:  2.2/10
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Bourne injury recap.  4 months is Grish’s prognosis.  Ouch.

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Jack Swagger heads to the ring, which is set up with a table loaded with hardcore tools.  Swagger says that he shut up Dreamer’s bragging.  In all the time Dreamer has been around, he hasn’t accomplished much.  He get beat up by a drunk with a cane while crying “thank you sir, may I have another”.  Then, he actually won a match, and became ECW champion for an entire 30 minutes.  He has the old belt, says Dreamer is also old, and drops it in the trash can.  He then pulls out a picture of Tommy’s wife Beulah, and asks her, if she’s watching, how it feels to have a failure of a husband.  To know that her kids will grow up to be failures just like their dad, unless they have a role model like Jack Swagger.  Tommy has had enough, and at this point filling the ring with weapons starts to look like a bad idea.  Dreamer ducks a shot with the can, and whales on Jack with the Singapore cane.  I like this feud.  The booking here is almost too simple for me to believe it’s WWE.  Use the awesomely over veteran to give some heel heat to the new heel, and segments like this will keep this rolling perfectly.

RAW recap.  I’m damn glad Jericho is champ again, giving the belt to Dave at all was foolish.   I hope Cena loses to Chris as well, because RAW seriously is Jericho at this point.  His heel character is just so many times deeper than any heel character in the WWE at present, barring Edge, who hangs with him.

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Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle) vs. Big Drippy

Henry is all big and powerful.  Rawr.  Then they stand around for a few minutes.  Finlay puts on his hard hat for some clubs to the neck, but Henry retakes control with a headbutt and they pace the ring in circles for another minute.  They trade punches and Henry is all big and powerful again.  Rawr.  Punch.  Finlay gets a boot up on a corner charge.  But Henry is all big and powerful.  Rawr.

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Henry nails some crossfaces and hangs Finlay’s arm in the ropes.  Shoulder to the ring post.  Arm wrench.  He stands on Finlay’s chest, and then misses on something that I guess was supposed to be a Banzai drop.  Finlay lays in some kicks.  Henry pops right back up and throws Finlay to the outside.  Clothesline to Atlas.  Hotshot to Henry.  Hornswoggle jumps from the top rope, caught by Henry.  Fit chop blocks him for two.  Henry nails a big kick and stalks the leprechaun.  They take the usual spot with Finlay jumping over Hornswoggle for a clothesline and instead have Finlay get grabbed and thrown into the post by Drippy.  Mark tries for a double splash to father and son.  He misses.  Leprechaun distraction, shillelagh shot.  Boo. 
Winner:  Finlay by Shillelagh Shot @ 10:17

Finlay the character is just outright ruining Finlay the wrestler.  Absolutely pathetic.  The match was pretty bad for a Finlay match, not surprising considering it was also a Mark Henry match.  The twist on the usual clothesline on the outside spot made me happy, however nothing else here was worth the time of day, and I’m confused as to how Mark Henry keeps getting ten minute matches on ECW when it’s pretty clear that general wrestling formulas dictate “bad wrestler à short match; good wrestler à long match”.  So yeah…why Henry is worth the 15 minutes of air time that Elijah Burke (among others) should be getting is beyond me.
Match Rating:  3.9/10

Overall Analysis: 
NO Miz and Morrison.  NO Bourne (given), no Burke (just saying).  Swagger, who has to be considered one of the show’s better wrestlers at this point, in a segment rather than a match.  Hardy is in a squash match.  It pretty much seems like they are trying to come up with the worst star ratings they can muster without bringing out Snitsky too.  I mean…come on.  Match One with Bam Neely, Match Two featuring Ricky Ortiz, and Match Three ten minutes of Drippy?  Have we got any other stiffs we’d like to give airtime to on this show?  I mean…is Butterbean available?  Is someone looking into this?
Overall Show Grade: D+

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