The ECW X-Press: 12/16/08

12/16/2008

Pre-show run-through:
Last week, MnM 2.0 palled around with Admiral Ackbar. Hornswoggle came on. Apparently Jack Swagger wants a title shot. And he’s the Boogeyman, and he’s coming to finally have a match. This week at Armageddon, Matt Hardy jobbed to That Russian Guy and Finlay defeated Big Drippy with a shillelagh shot. Somewhere in between, WWE decided that Crazy Mariachi Punk should be getting the IC title, so they made him punt the tag belts to the aforementioned Miz and Morrison. The greatest tag team of the 21^st century! *stereo lookoff*

(opening video)

Matt Hardy starts us off. Looks like they’ll be holding off on the one-night only Hardys reunion until week 2 of their dual title runs. As well as weeks 3, 4, 5, and 6. Matt says that this has been the best weekend of his life. When he and Jeff arrived here ten years ago, they wanted to make a name for themselves. He thinks they’ve done a good job. Sunday, Matt and Jeff came together as champions. On Friday, there will be a huge celebration on Smackdown, and knowing Jeff…

OOOH, CHAVO!

I’m not going to lie, that wasn’t the first person I was expecting. Chavo Guerrero is out with a slow sarcastic clap. Chavo tells Matt to live it up, because things are about to change. He says Vickie Guerrero sent him to take care of Matt, just because of his last name. Matt helped Jeff steal the title from Edge…he’s a Guerrero, and knows when things are stolen. Chavo says that Vickie arranged with Teddy Long for Matt vs. Chavo for the ECW Title tonight, and Chavo will put the title around his own waist. Teddy is out in a horrible elf costume. The match won’t be later tonight, but RIGHT NOW! He also advises Vickie to get off the Christmas cookies!

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero (ECW Title)
Chavo goes to work with some punches. Hardy responds in kind. Back body drop, sloppy Twist of Fate attempt w/ sloppy counter…but Matt drops Chavo to the outside. Hotshot by Chavo as he gets back in, and some kicks. These two seem to have horrible chemistry so far. Chavo locks in a keylock as we go to…

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Hardy is still fighting out of submission work. Chavo works a modified cross armbar. Back to their feet, and Hardy nails punches and a scoop slam. Chavo appears to have nailed his awesome rolling kick, but the camera work was so bad that we missed it. Back to the cross armbar, but Hardy picks up Chavo and slams him while his arm is still in torsion. Hardy gets an elbow smash and elbow drop. Suplex for Matt sets up for the yodeling elbow smash, which looked good. Corner clothesline and bulldog for Matt. Back elbow smash, Matt sets up for a moonsault. Chavo interrupts, sets up for a super back suplex, but Hardy turns it into a SUPER Side Russian Legsweep! Side Effect! Twist of Fate countered into Three Amigos! As always, Hardy blocks the third! Twist of Fate!
Winner: Matt Hardy by Twist of Fate @ 6:10

It started off very, VERY sloppy. But these guys are both veterans, and both pretty solid. My one problem is it was way too throwaway of a match for a title shot. We all knew Hardy was winning, but the match still should have gotten ten minutes. In the end, though, they picked it up, and worked a good finish. Other than the iffy start, very solid match.
Match Rating: 6.1/10

Recap of Legacy vs. Batista and Cena. Orton has been a joy to watch recently. This comes from a guy who pretty much hated him more than anyone else in the company when he was half-assing it back in ’06 when he redebuted on RAW, feuded with Angle, and Carlito, etc. I think working with Edge for a while was a big turning point for Randy.

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Hornswoggle steals Matt and Todd’s Slammy. Apparently he now believes that COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! is award-winning commentary. Darn leprechaun. Recap of Finlay vs Drippy.

Finlay vs. Gavin Spears
Hey Gavin! I thought he was eaten by Henry last month…some lock-up stuff. Finlay with a side headlock. Lariat for Finlay, and a scoopslam. “Finlay punches the clock, and then punches your FACE!” –Striker. Elbow drop for one. European uppercut, stomp to the groin, and corner spear. Spears chases Hornswoggle, Finlay jumps over Hornswoggle and instead of the usual lariat, Spear nails a knee lift. Sweet! I like when clichéd moves get countered. Finlay into the ring post, and Spears lays a knee and stomps to the back. Kneeling chinlock with a knee to the back. Todd gets all moral on us about children obeying their parents. Dropkick to Finlay, but off the ropes Finlay nails a front kick, some lariats and the seated senton. FINLAY ROLL! That should be his finisher, I love it. Corner spear and Celtic Cross finishes!
Winner: Finlay by Celtic Cross @ 3:58

Finlay in squash matches is very cool, when he gets on a roll he is very believable as a brawler and that was on full display tonight. This was the perfect length for what it was, and outside of me being as usual irritated by Horny’s part in it all, this was great.
Match Rating: 6.4/10

Striker tries to hold Hornswoggle’s hat hostage to get the slammy back.

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Back from ads and Striker has recaptured his trophy. Yes, I removed what was originally here, it was a misunderstanding based on part of the show being cut in the Youtube clip I watched.

Backstage, DJ Gabriel and Alicia Fox dance by a Christmas tree. Big Drippy (as Santa) and Tony Atlas (as a Reindeer?) scare them off. Let me just give you the whole promo from Henry, rather than trying to paraphrase.

Twas the night before Christmas, and out in the ring
Not a creature was stirring, not even a thing
The stockings were hung by ringside with care
With hopes that a leprechaun soon would be there
The children all nestled, all snug in their seats
The anticipation grows, the crowd is up on their feet
When from under the ring, Hornswoggle arose
With soot on his hands, his face, and his nose
His shillelagh in hand, and was spinning around
The World’s Strongest Santa came in with a bound
His reindeer Tony followed close with his sack
Hornswoggle was scared and he took a step back
The World’s Strongest Santa reached out his hand
Grabbed Hornswoggle, gave him the World’s Strongest Slam
Out in the arena arose such a clatter
The World’s Strongest Santa stood tall, the leprechaun SPLATTERED
The crowd cheered and they chanted and they jumped with delight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!

For all Henry’s worthlessness in the ring, his character development has been ace, especially in his feud with Finlay. This was no exception, and builds wonderful heat for him. Atlas’ continued presence is a bit puzzling, since Henry is much better on the mic than his manager is. But hey. This works for me, and was very creative and well-delivered.

Meanwhile, Tiffany, Ricky Ortiz, Kofi Kingston, and Crazy Mariachi Punk are backstage. Ricky tries to give Tiffany a present, but Punk thinks it’s for him. Tiffany opens it and oh sweet shocker, a Ricky O Rally Towel. Punk snatches it and calls this a frontrunner for OMG moment of the year. “This is better than a car! This is better than an XFL JERSEY!” Oh god. I wish Punk was allowed to be comedic a bit more, he reminds me a bit of Face Edge. Punk says that Kofi needs the towel more than Tiffany as Kofi begs off. BAM! Ricky with another towel and everyone’s happy. This segment was awesome in a really bizarre, messed-up way.

You know, most of the good Punk segments from the first year of ECW involved this man…

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Recap of Mizn’Morrison’s house show win over Punk and Kingston. It’s a good thing MnM2 have The Esteemed Admiral Ackbar on their side, because Punk and Kingston looked like they were trying to spring a trap on their opponents there. Saved by Ackbar!

The Miz (w/ Slammy & Tag Belt), John Morrison (w/ Slammy & Tag Belt), & Jack Swagger (w/ nothing but cheesy smile) vs Kofi Kingston (w/ Rally Towel #2), Ricky Ortiz (w/ Rally Towel #3), & Crazy Mariachi Punk (w/ imaginary watch)
Kofi and Morrison start. Morrison mocks Kofi’s video game fighting stance! Armbar by Kofi, sweet armdrag takeover. Ortiz in to throw JoMo to the buckle. Morrison floats over a suplex, rollup for two. Punk is in to whiff on a springboard clothesline but follow up with a snap powerslam and the Knee of Doom. Running bulldog sets up for the GTS, but Miz makes the save. Punk kicks MnM from the ring, Swagger in and…let me describe this here…Swagger overruns where he was supposed to be, Kingston goes for a high crossbody and is going to miss by a mile, and he totally SLOWS DOWN IN MIDAIR and adjusts to hit it. I kid you not, Kofi Kingston is a flying squirrel.

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Punk suplexes Morrison to the ring as we return. Punk and Kofi work a sweet double team. Kofi with an awesome electric chair armdrag takedown, then the PICTURE PERFECT Monkey Flip. I am officially dubbing it that if Kofi does it, because he rocks. Having Morrison doing the selling for it is just the cherry. Kingston hits a leaping double knee strike, leaps to the buckle on Morrison but Swagger knocks him off into the steps. Miz in and does things for like three seconds, and Swagger is in. Knee strike, but Kofi with a kick. Swagger hits a powerslam as Kofi tries to tag, but Swagger is distracted and Kofi gets a rana and tags Ortiz! Shoulder block, dropkick, shoulder block, terrible back suplex, sloppy spot where Swagger was supposed to toss Ortiz to the apron but instead kind of just grabbed him and Ortiz climbed over. Sigh. Ortiz with a missile dropkick (much better) for two. It’s total chaos on the outside and Kofi hits a SUICIDA to Miz! Ortiz up top and goes for something, but Swagger kicks him and gets the Doctor Bomb for the win!
Winner: Swagger, Miz, and Morrison by Doctor Bomb @ 6:33

This match was hot and cold. Morrison was awesome as usual, and Kofi actually outshone John, which is tough to do. Miz was barely there, selling Kane-induced injuries. That’s fine. Punk was good. The problem here was our young guys looked sloppy—nothing new for Ortiz but concerning coming from Swagger. The complete awesomeness of the Kofi/Morrison sequence was more than worth the price of admission on its own, though. Kingston is officially THE BOMB.
Match Rating: 6.9/10

Overall Analysis:
I’ve got to say, I really dug this show. They’ve been very clever about getting Henry out of the ring and in promos a bit more recently. Stealing Punk and Kingston was very pleasant payback for RAW’s constant borrowing of Miz and Morrison, and it worked out great. I’m not the biggest fan of Chavo Guerrero, but he worked a fine match against Hardy to open us up. Furthermore, no Boogeyman. I approve. The only issue I have, really, is Ricky Ortiz still being employed.
Overall Show Grade: B+

Bonus Section!
Val Venis Fanclub!

Val Fact: Our boy Val last got a match for WWE gold came on February 27, 2006, when Venis teamed with Viscera to come up short in a bid for tag team gold against the monstrous team of Kane and Big Show! Clearly, if since then the Spirit Squad and Trevor Murdoch have held the titles…WWE has its priorities a wee bit skewed. Just sayin. Here’s to seeing the Money Shot in the WWE again soon.

To claim your FREE Val Venis Fanclub Banner, right click "properties" on the above chart, copy the link and remove the word 'list' from the end. Wahoo! Free Val!

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Comments

Comment #1

i want in the club as well

Posted by Dangaz on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #2

Nice Admiral Ackbar joke it works good
(Y do all of matt's matches go with a missed twist of fate into a reversal of his opponents finisher into a TOF for teh win it's getting REALLY OLD!)

Posted by EddieRox on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #3

Grisham was referring to the DX commercial. He said that the state that Shawn is in now with JBL is not the same as in the commercial.

Posted by Not a Hater, Just clarifying(probably spelt wrong) on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #4

Great article, Glide, I didn't even catch half of those bungles, though my god did Swagger have a bad night.

Throughout the entire match it really looked like he pretty much booked to sit there while Kingston, Punk, and MoMiz had fun, and it was eating at him. His attitude about it kinda sucked, but I can understand where he was coming from.

And rofl at Admiral Ackbar.

Posted by Jove on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #5

I stopped watching ECW, and by the looks of the show Im glad i did, good review glide! Im kinda ticked Chavo had to put up another job match

Posted by Nutty on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #6

the reason tony atlas is with big drippy is because the WWE doesn't want Henry eating the fatening food he chooses without thought. tony atlas is there to keep him eating good food

Posted by maccanator on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #7

The DX commercial is what the 'taped earlier' was about. That makes WAY more sense, lol. I watched it on Youtube and the DX commercial was cut out. I had to assume Grisham was talking about the Finlay match.

Posted by The Glide on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #8

Maccanator: Sure, sure. I remember hearing that, and that's great. But being a backstage mentor doesn't mean you have to be his onscreen manager, and right now Atlas isn't doing anything for me as a manager.

Posted by The Glide on Thursday, December 18, 2008
Comment #9

FIRST FTW, pretty good, don't force the Admiral Ackbar refrences though, aha, I agree with you completely about Morrison and such though, aha, A-

Posted by EdgeHead on Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Comment #10

Good one. really

Posted by Kamikaze Kid on Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Comment #11

dammit, too late

Posted by fakeangel on Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Comment #12

put me down for the Val venis fan club I can't bealive he was still with the company he needs to at least come back to even ECW (exterminly crappy wrestling)

Posted by drex on Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Comment #13

Henry really does get better, good article by the way.

Posted by bihre on Friday, December 19, 2008
Comment #14

if it aint too late put me on the val venis fan club name list plez

Posted by RIP on Saturday, December 20, 2008
Comment #15

Great article as always Glide

Did I see somewhere that they had to retape the ending of the 6-man tag because Ortiz failed with his springboard thing? Or am I just imagining that? I think live he fell off the ropes, Swagger hit the Doctor Bomb for 2, then they tried it again... That would explain the crowd's complete non-reaction to the end of the match anyway. Ortiz probably won't last much longer. Also, what's the deal with DJ Gabriel? He looks like the dancing version of Masters. And Henry... who suddenly gave him a dose of promo ability? He's been fantastic of late (I also liked him stapling the antlers to Atlas' head, it's on the official site as their After The Bell special) and might finally be the one who takes out Hornswoggle - someone who they must realise doesn't need his contract renewed.

I'd love to see Val get the ECW title before he retires, he must be knocking on a bit now and deserves a final run, much like Dreamer and Finlay

Posted by The General on Sunday, December 21, 2008
Comment #16

ECW is probobly my favorite brand

Posted by The Hardcore Warrior on Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The ECW X-Press: 12/16/08

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