The ECW X-Press!! 6/17/08

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Pre-show run-through:

The build continues to Kane vs. Big Show at Vengeance Night of Champions.  Last week, Kane teamed with CM Punk in a losing effort for the WWE Tag Team Championships.  I commented that the two should be kept apart for a bit now.  Watch below as they are likely not.

The Delaney/Estrada feud had ‘same song, different verse’ as Delaney once again pinned Estrada, this time after Finlay took him out.  Speaking of Finlay, he will be teaming up with Hornswoggle to challenge Miz and Morrison for their titles at NOC.  I’ll cry if Hornswoggle wins another world title belt.  I really will.

(opening video)

Tazz announces for us that Morrison and Punk will face each other tonight.  Also, Kane and Big Show will have a confrontation.

Hornswoggle breaks Armando’s cigar and runs around the ring.  He makes him slip on marbles.  Fake hammer shots, super soaker blast, and Horny is under the ring.  Armando grabs a leg and pulls, but it’s Finlay with another water gun.  Hornswoggle hits a Thesz press from the apron, like we’re supposed to believe that would work.  Tadpole splash.  This match actively disgusted me.

Seriously, Finlay deserves so much more than this crap.

Finlay gives a stupid goofy interview with Tazz about people living under the ring.  He dances with Hornswoggle.  I hate stupid goofy Finlay.  Bring back badass Finlay.

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Striker’s back!  Striker’s back!  Seriously, I love this guy dating back to his Angle Invitational/HEAT days.

Bourne rolls through a snapmare and botches a spinning rana.  Striker hits a swank rope-assisted swinging neckbreaker and a gorgeous back suplex flipping toss.  Neck wrench for a little bit, then Bourne gets a high knee and another spinning rana.  Bourne gets a spinning leg sweep takedown, and Striker gets the knees up to block a standing moonsault.  Bourne quickly recovers with a kick on the charging Striker, and hits a SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!  He covers for three!

Oh lord, Bourne gets better every week.  His chemistry here with Striker was impeccable, and overall this match was brilliant.  Time constraints, as always, ruined it.  But I would certainly pay money to see these men wrestle for ten minutes.

After the match, Mike Knox sneaks up and hits Bourne with the Boring Corkscrew STO.  All well and good, as long as they’re not idiots and have Knox win this feud like he did the one with Richards.

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Knox starts out with power and steals Stevie Richards’ corner thump.  Don’t let him beat you Kofi, or you may lose Trouble in Paradise to him.  Oh wait…you already did…to Kennedy.  Kingston comes back with a dropkick, but Knox powers out of the corner punches and gets a great butterfly suplex.  Then, of course, he ruins the momentum by locking in a crap surfboard.  Boring generic comeback, Knox blows a spot, and Kofi gets his high crossbody off the top rope.  Dropkick, bo-bo legdrop, and AIN’T NO STOPPIN ME NAAAAAH, which I didn’t realize was one of his moves.  At this point, Shelton Benjamin makes his way out and hits the ring for a brawl and a DQ.

Benjamin gets the T-Bone Suplex, then accidentally hits a spinning wheel kick on Knox.  For some reason this is occasion to play Kofi’s music as he escapes up the ramp like a heel usually would.

It was fine.  Knox alternates between playing the big man role well and sucking.  He sucks mostly.  But he has had his moments in the last month, and has proved he has at least one good-looking move, the butterfly suplex.  The continuation of the awesome Benji/Kofi feud was much bigger than this actual match.

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Backstage, Finlay talks with Teddy Long about his handicap match, err, tag match, with Miz and Morrison at NOC.  Horny bites Tiffany.  ~HEEL TURN!!  Or…comic mischief.  Heel turn would be cooler, though.  Miz comes in to protest the match and Finlay clubs him in the face with the shillelagh.

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Punk hits a shoulder block.  Morrison slaps him and hits a backbreaker.  Punk slaps him back, gets the spinning backfist, and roundhouses him to the ground.  Morrison trips up Punk and baseball slides him to the outside.  He locks in a submission to work the leg and arm simultaneously.  Morrison lands some knees and a rib breaker and goes back to the submission.  Eventually, he hits a hotshot on the ropes.  “Don’t touch me, man!” – Morrison to the ref.  Excellent.  Morrison locks in an abdominal stretch.  It almost seems like they’re stalling.  Eventually Punk tries for a GTS but Morrison gets out and lands more knees and some mounted punches.  Morrison continues the sub moves with a body scissors.  Punk gets out and swings Morrison by his legs for two minutes before just dropping him.  That proved nothing, except that Morrison’s abs are real.  Punk nails the Knee of Doom.  Morrison can’t connect on the springboard enziguiri, and Punk hits a snap powerslam.  Punk attempts the BUTTERFLY SUPLEX OF FAILURE, but Morrison counters into a fireman’s carry takeover and a running knee lift.  Morrison nails a back suplex for two.  Punk floats over a suplex, but Morrison regains control.  Morrison leaps over the ropes going for a slingshot something or other but Punk catches him midair for a quick GTS.

This started out very, very, PAINFULLY slow.  But business picked up eventually, Morrison was awesome as always, and I’m thankful they let him carry the offense because in the end, it lets him absorb the loss without looking too weak.  Punk is losing his luster to me but he wrestled a sound match.  Nothing special, but sound. 

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Teddy Long calls Kane vs. Big Show ‘one of the greatest matches ever on PPV’.  Yeah, I know you’re supposed to butter up your own product, but that’s a bit much.

At least Night of Champions isn’t on May 19^th.  Big Show’s goatee is nearing ‘ridiculous’ levels.  Big Show says that despite their history as partners, Kane has something that Show wants.  Kane puts over Show but says that it won’t be his night.  Show says he went through hell to earn this shot, and will put Kane through hell to follow through.  Kane says hell is standing right in front of Show.  Mark “Please, Please Believe I’m a Credible Big Man” Henry hits the ring.  He says if he is not drafted (?!?) he will take on the winner for the ECW championship.  Drafted from WHERE to WHERE?  He’s the tri-brand jobber, for god’s sakes.  Kane and Big Show see the logical fallacy too, so they double chokeslam him and resume their recipe swapping…err…staredown.

Overall Analysis:  

Fair show.  If it had not been for the silly main event interview format, it might have been an A.  Regardless, we had three slightly above average singles matches, a comedy bit that didn’t really hurt anything except poor Finlay’s pride, and that was it.  Simple enough, not great but an okay show.

Overall Show Grade: B

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