The ECW X-Press! 6/3/2008

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Pre-show run-through:

At Four Night Stand, Big Show gushed blood.  It was great.  He also became the #1 contender to Kane’s title.  I’m not necessarily thrilled about the upcoming Show/Kane match, because we’ve seen them before and it wasn’t PPV quality, although their mat wrestling match was damn amusing.  BUT…I understand that they want to get all the mileage they can out of Kane as champion, and a feud with Show is a way to either extend that or end it right away and get a new big man champion.

I haven’t seen the Dirt Sheet this week yet.  But I can guarantee with 99.9 percent certainty that it was awesome.

Backstage, Armando Estrada finds people cleaning out his office.  Teddy Long is in his office, and is the new GM!  HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA!  I’ve always liked Peanut…this could be excellent.

(opening video)

We open things up with a Fatal Fourway for a chance to have a (non-title, I hope?) match with Kane in the main event.  Naturally, the contestants are the original four booked for the Four Night Stand match before Show crashed the party.

We start off with a cluster in the ring.  The camera focuses on Morrison as he works over Dreamer, but he misses the breakdance legdrop and Dreamer takes over with a snapmare and elbow drop.  Punk suplexes Chavo onto Morrison, then Dreamer takes Punk to the corner and they trade punches.  Lots more punching, it gets old and finally Dreamer clotheslines Morrison to the outside, hits a crossbody.  Chavo with a suicide dive to Dreamer, and Chavo with one to Punk!  Morrison drops Chavo facefirst on the apron, pulls Punk into the ring, and immediately eats a Knee of Doom.  Morrison hits a GORGEOUS springboard enziguiri.  Dreamer catches Morrison with the Texas Cloverleaf for a spell, but Chavo interrupts it and hits ALL THREE Amigos.  Morrison breaks up a frog splash attempt and tries for a superplex, but Punk crotches both to set up for an ECW dropkick from Dreamer to Morrison.  Punk hits a springboard clothesline on Dreamer.  Frog Splash to Dreamer!  GTS to Chavo!

This match had its good spots and its bad spots.  It was boring as hell early on, but once they went to the outside things picked up a bit because they were able to only have two guys in the ring at a time and to keep the action moving.  Basically, it was a fine way to get all these guys onto the program and run an interesting new angle what with Mr. Money in the Bank getting a non-title match against Kane.  I’m a bit sick of Dreamer being the brand jobber, but sometimes you’ve just got to accept it and move on.  See:  Venis, Val.  Burke, Elijah.  Et cetera.

Backstage, Teddy Long shows Estrada the official letter ousting him.  Long says that Estrada will still be an ECW superstar, and he’ll have a match tonight against Matt Hardy.

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In some gorgeous mirror booking from last week, Kofi Kingston joins the table to commentate on a Shelton Benjamin match.

Shelton hits a swank pump handle drop.  He gives Kofi too much attention and Sydal capitalizes with a rollup, leaping kick, and running headscissor takedown.  Sydal hits a flying double knee shot to the face, then Benjamin hits the Benjamin Super Flapjack of Destruction.  Damn, I love that move when a small, athletic guy can fly on it properly.  Benji stomps away and hits a military press rib breaker.  He throws Sydal into the turnbuckle with a somersault.  Benjamin wrenches the arm and eventually gets a clothesline and throws him out right beside Kofi.  Benjamin powerbombs Sydal into Kofi for a countout victory!  Kofi is unhappy and pummels Shelton for a moment, but Shelton reverses a whip into the steel steps.

It was short, it was effective, and Matt Sydal is the greatest jobber in the history of ever.  Get this guy officially called up from FCW.  Now.

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Mattitude starts with a clothesline.  Some punches are traded, Hardy hits a scoop slam and top rope elbow club, and finishes with the Twist of Fate.

Well, good for Matt and his goofy tan for making it to ECW for a squash match.

We are joined ringside by Teddy Long’s Swank Music.  In a moment, Long hits the ramp to announce that Estrada and his abs have one more chance to prove themselves worth their contract against Colin Delaney.

Colin races to the ring for an Oklahoma roll, but only gets two.  Estrada goes for the inverted suplex, but Colin floats over and gets another rollup for the win.

Hardly a match, so rating it really doesn’t mean much.

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Long tells Estrada that his contract is terminated, but he can earn it back in the same way he make Delaney do, by winning a match.  Ron Simmons provides the punch line.

Recap of the Million Dollar Mania.  What a creative way to compile a mailing list.  Still, it bores me.

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I swear if Khali jumps brands again come draft time, I will die laughing.  I will do likewise if Big Show gets drafted anywhere, because really, he must be too big to fit on one brand or something...he’s been on all three more than anyone since ECW started.

Kane takes a power advantage early.  He hits some corner punches, but Punk hits kicks and actually manages to clothesline Kane to the outside.  Kane pops back up to retake the advantage and get the super corner uppercut and the weird hanging choke.  Knee of Doom attempt is countered into a big boot to the outside where Punk is assaulted by…

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Kane is working an abdominal stretch when we return.  Punk tries to reverse into one of his own, but Kane just laughs and squishes him.  Snapmare and running dropkick.  Kane locks in a body scissors, Punk eventually gets a sunset flip, Kane with an uppercut and clothesline and back to the body scissors, adding a keylock.  Punk kicks Kane a bunch, and Kane returns the favor with a big boot.  Corner clothesline misses and Punk hits THREE Knees of Doom.  Kane no sells them all and hits a back suplex out of the bulldog attempt.  Punk returns with a top rope bulldog but Kane gets a side slam and a top rope clothesline.  Chokeslam attempt is countered with a roundhouse.  Counter sequence follows:  Springboard clothesline to chokeslam to GTS to chokeslam and Kane is victorious. 

Miz aa-aand Morrrrisonnnn…are the tag teaaaam champioooooons!  I know this because Singing Hand Puppet Elijah Burke told me so.  Anyways, they hit the ring to beat up Kane, Miz hits the Reality Check to remind us that he’s alive and that’s a wrap.

This was the worst ten minute match on ECW in a long, long time.  They spend about three minutes throwing hands and another three with Kane locking in submissions, and that is not a good match even when you’ve got guys who know how to make that work.  It picked up a bit towards the end, but it wasn’t ever really interesting.  God knows I love counter wrestling but the ending sequence was awfully forced considering there’s no real smooth counter from a chokeslam to a fireman’s carry and vice versa.  Now, granted, it was ten minutes, and I approve automatically of any match with that length.  But still not good.

Overall Analysis:  

ECW has managed to stay in the B+ to B- range for an awfully long time.  I think, all in all, that’s great news for the C show.  Now, the main event sucked, and it also may have hurt Punk a little as Money in the Bank (I say a little because he did win a nice fourway to get here, so it’s not that bad).  But damn, the first two matches were very solid.  Matt Sydal MADE this program, and that’s coming from me, who doesn’t give a flying damn about ROH.  I dig Teddy Long as a character, so I will dig him as a GM.  Simple as that..

Overall Show Grade: B-

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