The ECW X-Press! 7/15/08

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Pre-show run-through:

On ECW last week, Tony Atlas joined forces with Mark Henry by throwing Colin Delaney into the announce table.  Atlas should be in Henry’s corner as Delaney’s friend Tommy Dreamer challenges Big Drippy for the ECW title at the Great American Bash.  Finlay and his hobbit continued to feud with the tag team champions, Evan Bourne began a new winning streak, and Matt Hardy…wasn’t there?

We start out with a recap of Atlas’ defection.

(opening video)

Tazz welcomes Big Drippy to the ring.  Unsurprising, Tony Atlas is by his side.  Tazz asks the question on everybody’s mind…why?  Actually, the question on my mind was “where’s Elijah Burke.”  But Henry doesn’t want to answer that.  Atlas says that Henry’s offer to carry his bags for a paycheck rang true, and he’ll be happy to carry bags for such a great champion.  Atlas brings frying pans into the ring.  Henry shows that they haven’t been tampered with.  They bring a guy in a Bobcats shirt into the ring to say that it’s a real pan, and he fails to bend it.  Henry bends it.  Great use of ten minutes.  Yes, that was sarcastic.

Dreamer is out to protest the waste of airtime.  Dreamer says that Sunday, he’ll take the ECW championship, but right now, he wants to give the frying pan a shot too.  Dreamer fails.  While Drippy laughs at him, Tommy tees up a FRYING PAN SHOT!  Hardcore.  Fun little way of getting over that Dreamer will have to outsmart Henry to beat him.

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Backstage, Teddy Long tells Dreamer he has the night off, and to get out of the arena.  Meanwhile, in the ring, we have a Shannon Moore sighting.

Moore tries a waistlock and gets plucky kicks and punches.  Knox with a shoulder block, short arm clothesline, and again steals Stevie Richard’s corner thump.  Swank butterfly suplex, backbreaker submission, but Knox whiffs on a double knee drop.  Moore dropkicks the knee, dodges a corner charge, and hits a top rope hurricanrana!  Which is about a thousand times better finisher than the so-called “Knox-Out.”  But only gets two.  Knox picks him right back up for a really sloppy backbreaker and the Boring Corkscrew STO.

Shannon did his best to make it work.  Knox did too, and that’s the sad part.

Recap of RAW’s superstars failing to ‘show unity’.  Which, when you recall that it’s a WRESTLING show, kind of makes sense.  And yes…Cena was ‘only nicked’ by the car crash, and will wrestle Sunday.  I was tempted to put ‘wrestle’ in quotes too, but I’m not a Cena hater.

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Some rolling chain wrestling starts.  Bourne gets an armdrag, dropkick, and thrust kick.  Bourne goes up top but Chavo knocks him outside.  European uppercut and bad inside.  Belly to Belly suplex gets two.  Chavo locks in a choke, then a chancery.  Bourne escapes with high round kicks, another armdrag and a standing moonsault.  Chavo nails a backbreaker but gets kneed in the stomach and Bourne gets a quick win with the SSP

Bourne and Chavo both did a great job, I would love to see them in a ten minute match.  Unfortunately three is not much time for a proper encounter.

Backstage, Henry tells Colin he has nothing to worry about, then beats him up.  OOH!  OOH!  LIAR!!

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Recap of Kane being a psychopath, followed by Batista beating up people.  Kane was down from that Big Dave chair shot for like ten minutes.

Matt comes out to his brother’s music, despite being the ECW roster member.  Boo.

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We return already in progress, as Matt gets a scoop slam and headlock takedown on Miz.  Headlock…another headlock takedown…more headlock…still in a headlock…what a fun match.  Jeffrey spices things up by coming in with a slingshot kick.  Miz retakes control and gets Morrison in for European uppercuts.  Hardy reverses a whip into an overhead kick.  Leg drop to the groin.  Matt and Jeff double team Morrison for an impactful swinging suplex.  Matt is in for a headlock.  Really, Matt?  Really?  Shoulder block.  Miz interferes, allowing Morrison to take over.  Matt tries for a Twist of Fate, but Miz gets a blind tag and big clothesline.  Chinlock by Miz but Matt gets out with a chin breaker.  Morrison is in for more European uppercuts, and a knockdown punch.  Matt reverses a powerbomb attempt (?!) into a Russian legsweep, and double tags are made.  Jeff nails Miz with his unorthodox running sort-of clotheslines, floats over an irish whip charge, and gets a corner clothesline and the slingshot double boot to the sternum.  Matt throws Morrison to the outside, which leads to POETRY IN MOTION!  Morrison pulls Miz to the outside as Jeff tries to position himself for a Swanton.

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Morrison is locking Jeff in a chinlock as we return.  Jeff gets out with a mule kick. Miz tags in and barely prevents Jeff from getting the tag, going back to a headlock.  Miz missed the corner clothesline, but Morrison quickly gets in to keep isolating Jeff.  Backbreaker and a very fluid Russian legsweep get two.  Jeff gets a chin breaker   Once again Miz makes a tag and cuts off Jeff.  Miz steps on Jeff’s groin and hangs him in the corner to choke him from the apron.  Miz tries for a super back suplex, but Hardy knocks him off and hits Whisper in the Wind!  Double tag, Matt hits a back body drop, throws Morrison’s head into the buckle, then gets the best ~OMG MORRISON FLIP CLOTHESLINE of all time!  Morrison is too awesome.  Corner clothesline, bulldog while clotheslining Miz as he attempts to interfere.  Side effect attempt countered, but Hardy nails a hard overhead kick.  Morrison hotshots him into the ropes and jackknifes for two.  Morrison goes up top for a moonsault, but Hardy grabs him and nails a GORY BOMB OF DEATH!  Miz barely breaks up the cover.  Side effect to Miz!  Awesome Moonlight Drive to Matt!  John goes for the cover!  Swanton to Morrison AND Matt!  Matt rolls over and pins Morrison!

Can these guys just wrestle for a full hour every week?  Really, that would raise ratings massively.  I’ve got to comment, Morrison was especially on his game tonight, while he didn’t do enough to really have the ‘match of his career’, he was completely flawless.  Jeff was also on fire.   Miz was brilliant, his increasing competence as a heel wrestler is great to watch.  Matt was great too after the ridiculously slow start of the match, which wasn’t really his fault but the fault of whoever wrote the match.

But I think said person can be forgiven after what we witnessed in the latter half of the contest.  Jeff’s face-in-peril sequence was perfectly done, Morrison got in some impeccable offense, then the tide turned and Morrison was even better as the recipient of the high-octane Hardy offense.  The finisher fest at the end was super hot, executed perfectly, and the crowd was into it.  This match would be the best in new ECW history if not for the damn headlocks.  It was that…freaking…good.

Overall Analysis:  

Awesome main event.  One match does not a show make.  We had five minutes of non-main event wrestling.  We had little storyline, outside of Underdog Dreamer (who will not win Sunday, but I wish he would).   Mike Knox sucks, sorry if you hadn’t noticed yet and I ruined it for you.  Chavo and Bourne had a match that was too short to matter.  And yes, the main event was epic.  But what now, what do we do now that we’ve used up the “one night only” Hardy Boys reunion?  More Big Drippy main events?  Ooh, maybe he could beat up other kitchen utensils!  Maybe take on a ladle and a cookie sheet in a handicap match?

Overall Show Grade: B-

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