The ECW X-Press: 9/7/08

10/7/2008

Pre-show run-through:

Last week Philadelphia Phighter covered for me while I was temporarily insane. I am less insane now…maybe? Anyways, apparently we had some meaningless tag match and Mike Knox beat Tommy Dreamer. Word is Halloween is around the corner, and so soon…I’m the BOOGEYMAN! And I’m coming to BORE you!

Also, Miz and Morrison apparently now belong to two separate brands. Not officially, but they’ve made like 80 RAW appearances this month.

(opening video)

Tonight: Some Guys From RAW fight in a big tag match. It’s damn good to have Striker here on commentary. Not that I would notice he was gone last week; just on general principle, good to have him.

Wussy Finlay (w/ Cat In Hat Hat) & Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox & Jack Swagger

Knox starts things off with Finlay, who takes an advantage with some sweet, logical clobbering and a butt drop. Dreamer is in and they hit a double suplex. Elbow drop by Dreamer; big bulldog and a clothesline. Swagger interferes. Knox accidentally clobbers Swagger from the apron. Dreamer gets a neckbreaker on Knox. Dreamer goes EXTREME with a flying body block off the apron to swagger; Knox boots Dreamer off the apron as he returns.

(ads)

Mike Knox is being boring when we return. Are you surprised? As Dreamer fights out of a submission hold, Knox hits a big vertical suplex. Cheapshot to Finlay, and Swagger comes in for a double back body drop. Swagger wrenches Dreamer’s neck. Random sub moves. Hot tag to Finlay, eventually. Finlay runs wild with the clotheslines. Second-rope dropkick and ~THE FINLAY ROLL! Swagger breaks up the cover. Dreamer takes him to the outside. Tadpole Splash by Hornswoggle to Knox for some reason, and shillelagh shot finishes.

Winner: Wussy Finlay by Shillelagh Shot @ 5:19

Not a bad opener. I’m a bit put out that Hornswoggle had to get involved here, but I had no problems with the action. Finlay getting hot tags is like falling in love again; he’s so delightfully crisp and fluid and he needs to get big move sequences like that more often. Dreamer was fun, Swagger was barely noticeable, and Knox was crap as always.

Match Rating: 5.3/10

(ads)

Backstage, Teddy and Tiffany play dress-up. For some reason Jamie Noble comes in and asks for candy. He claims to be the greatest wrestler of all time and flirts with Tiffany. Big Drippy comes in to push Noble aside and ask for Matt Hardy. Jamie sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong and what do you know…Noble vs. Henry! Tonight!

I’m the BOOGEYMAN! And I’m coming to BORE you!

(ads)

Told you so.

Big Drippy vs. Jamie Noble

Henry hits headbutts, kicks, stomps, chops, chokes, etc, etc. Jamie oversells everything like Hogan/Michaels at Summerslam. Jamie tries some kicks eventually, but Henry gets a body block. Noble is all plucky and goes for a top rope crossbody. Ha! Henry catches him in fairly spectacular fashion, and finishes with a World’s Wettest Slam, followed by two more after the bell.

Winner: Big Drippy by World’s Wettest Slam @ 3:20

It was what it was. Nothing particularly interesting about it, and Noble’s overselling job just made the match seem ridiculous, not Henry seem any more powerful.

Match Rating: 2.3/10

Matt Hardy comes out to stop the senseless Noble butchery. He and Jamie have reservations at the Waffle House later tonight! Twist of Fate to Atlas! World’s Wettest Slam to Hardy! Splash to Hardy. Splash to Hardy again.

(ads)

RAW Recap. I was a majorly sad panda that Dave basically won a 3-on-1 match against RAW’s three best pure heels. Striker does a spot-on Steve Austin impression. It’s kind of sad that Austin will be the guest referee at Cyber Sunday even though both other options would be infinitely more interesting storyline-wise.

And oh, look! It’s Crazy Mariachi Punk! I thought he was in OVW or something! World Heavy-what?!? Really?

Crazy Mariachi Punk, Evan Bourne, Ricky Ortiz (w/ Rally Towel), & Kofi “Jamaican Me Crazy” Kingston vs.

(ads)

I’m guessing the ads win this one. Oh, wait…there’s another team? As the four faces stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the ring, I have to say…those four would make the greatest buddy cop show ever.

John Morrison, The Miz, Ted Dibiase Jr (w/ Afa Jr) & Cody Rhodes (also w/ Afa Jr)

Rhodes and Bourne start. Rhodes with an armbar, but Bourne springs off the ropes for a sweet armdrag. Punk is in; Morrison is in. Punk hits an enziguiri. Ortiz hits a double leg drop and shoulder block. Gorilla press slam to Morrison; Bourne is in for the running rana. Chaos breaks loose…super crossbody from Kofi to Miz…stereo dropkicks from Ortiz and Kofi to Priceless!

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Bourne demonstrates that his voice is ridiculous by crying in pain as Dibiase applies a sleeper. Back suplex, fist drop, and big clothesline to Bourne. Miz is in for kicks. Morrison teams with him for the M&M Combo, and Morrison stays in for an armbar. Bourne tries to go for a tag but is cut off by a sweet anklepick takedown by Morrison. Miz hits a leg drop and a neck wrench; Rhodes hits a double axe handle. Miz pushes Bourne around and tries to keep him from tagging in; Morrison comes in and fails at it, and Punk gets the hot tag. Punk gets big kicks and a leg lariat. Knee of Doom! Roundhouse to Dibiase, powerslam to Morrison, Miz gets involved and Kofi takes him to the outside. Ditto for Rhodes/Ortiz. Kofi hits a big crossbody to everyone leaving Punk and Morrison alone in the ring. Knee of Doom! Bulldog! Punk goes for the GTS, but Manu is still lurking and he provides the distraction, Dibiase gets a cheapshot, and ~MOONLIGHT DRIVE! wins it.

Winner: Team Heel @ 7:16 by Moonlight Drive

This wasn’t anything groundbreaking, but it’s not like it was going to be BAD with the people involved, it was just about what you’d expect. I’d have liked to see Kingston a bit more…maybe have him get the hot tag and take the pin instead of Punk, because Kofi is great at running wild. But it all worked, no surprise there, and the show goes out on a good note.

Match Rating: 7.4/10

Overall Analysis:

I can’t say this was a great show because it left with a bit of a ‘so what’ feeling. But thinking back, I have to admit that they managed to cover all their angles and keep things flowing into next week, so if they can keep up the logical, sequential angle advancement this will have been a worthwhile show. And it's not like this really bears mentioning because it's obvious my griping won't change anything, but dear god how are Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, and Mike Knox getting heel pushes that somehow Elijah Burke wasn't good enough for?

Overall Show Grade: B+

Discuss it on the wrestling forum

Comments

Comment #1

y do u make fun of people

Posted by Havoc Maker on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #2

Again, you havent failed to impress ;)

Posted by KOD on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #3

Did anyone notice that when Kofi did the Crossbody to everyone outside, Grisham yelled "The Jamaican's gettin' high!" and then both Striker and Grisham were laughing for a few seconds? Oh, and nice article. I'm looking forward to the next one!

Posted by me on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #4

Very cool. Bring back Burke!!!

Posted by Ranger on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #5

nice job and nice report

Posted by grim king on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #6

1. Boogeyman isn't boring! He is a good entertainer.
2. I don't like your article's a damn bit.
3. It's like you know less about wrestling then me.
4. i got a question for you:
What was the main-event of wrestlemania 14?
and before you go to wikipedia just admit that you don't know....
oh, you don't know, do you know why you don't know? you started watch wrestling 2 years ago and you actually don't know a damn about the good old days and what wrestling is.

Posted by mardy fantasy on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #7

A totally lame article. If all you can do is write how much you think everything sucks and is boring then you should stop and leave it up to others with some real talent. What you have written is bias, totally weak and unimaginative. I was at this event live and it was way better than you try to make it sound.

Posted by EX-QQ-ME??? on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #8

Shut up mardy. u probably dont know either and cheched up on wikipedia urself. and the article is pretty good and funny

Posted by Someone is stressed on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #9

WooHoo! Glide's back! oh yeah, mardy fantasy, the answer to the question was Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels w/Mike Tyson as Special Guest Referee. And also, like comment #8 said, you probably checked up on wikipedia yourself, but comment#8 should have answered the question also. and glide, good review man :P you should come up with better jokes though >.> <.<

Posted by Some Guy Who Fought The Big Show Once *lol* on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #10

So a lawyer, a priest, and Marty Jannetty walk into a bar...

Posted by The Glide on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #11

what u got against Boogeyman?? hes one of my fav wrestlers

Posted by The Black Mamba on Thursday, October 09, 2008
Comment #12

Mardy:
What was the approximate length of The Fabulous Moolah's hair, rounded to the nearest 1/64", on October 7, 1972?

I totally knew this without looking it up, even though it really sounds like I just looked it up and then told you you couldn't, so if you search the internet for the answer then it's clear you've been watching wrestling for less than two years.

Posted by An Angry Duck on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #13

Lol what a dumb question to base one's wrestling knowledge off of. Hai Mardy? Who wuz in teh title match wrestlemania x? Lol no wikiepedia!

...anyway good article Glide, this is the only way I keep up with ECW anymore

Posted by The Crimson Ghost on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #14

um why was finly wrean a cat in the hat hat?

By,
mrrrrrrrrrrrr.
winnnnnnn
winnnnnnnnn

Posted by mr.win on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #15

Fair enough. I understand why you think that.

However, I can't exactly see any WWE wrestler as quite that self-sacrificing, seeing as how they make more money than the engineers, bank tellers, and farmers that hold the country together. I figure that them making that much money to be on TV in an attempt to draw my viewership gives me leave to call them out if they suck, and I've already done that for Knox, Henry, to some extent Ortiz, and others. I'm not afraid to do the same to Boogey because he's not a good wrestler at all, even if his character does amuse you.

Posted by The Glide on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #16

You worked great on this article! But i gotta admit you were insulting superstar who risk their life just for entertainment...

The Boogeyman had a lot of Fan attention..He was a good entertainment...Even if you were trying to be a "star" in front of your fans/friends never insult pro wrestlers...

But good job =]

Posted by leo kentarus on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #17

I do think that even a bad pro wrestler has to be a fairly good athlete, however I do understand you're just being humorous, and it works - even when I don't agree with it, I still laugh with it. And that's part of your job writing an article that people mainly enjoy because of the spattering of humour, after all! WB Glideo :)

Posted by Jane Ross on Friday, October 10, 2008
Comment #18

Wow, like to make fun of people huh? Boogeyman Rulz, this whole ECW X-Press, I like. A grade :). Boogeyman's comin to getcha!

Posted by The Demon on Saturday, October 11, 2008
Comment #19

Great Report, nearly better than The Miz

P.S. THE MIZ RULES. yes I did say that

Posted by The Bad Guy on Saturday, October 11, 2008
Comment #20

hey u kno its just Glides opinions right people? the only thing he does wrong is call mike knox's finisher boring. the corckscrew sto is sick!

Posted by The Stupifier on Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The ECW X-Press: 9/7/08

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