The Extreme Briefing: ECW Report for 01/12/10

ECW Homecoming is hyped.

So ECW has new opening pictures, huh?

ECW is live in Green Bay, Wisconsin!!!  

Segment #1: Opening

Rosa Mendes makes her way to the ring and dances in the ring. She begins by introducing Zack Ryder to the ring. Ryder talks about his Twitter account, I think… Well of course, he brags about how he’s the new heart and soul of ECW, having the look, ability and what not. He says he’s above the ECW Championship, he is ECW. Woo woo woo, you know it.
STAND BACK! THERE’S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! DUN! DUN!! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN DUN DUN!!!!
Hurricane makes his way out and asks Ryder to shut up. Hurricane points out that it takes more than one match to make Ryder the heart and soul of ECW, and calls him the rear end of it. Rosa blurts some words in Spanish or something.
“I’m sorry; can you press ONE for English?” – Hurricane
*Laughs*
Rosa’s pissed and slaps him (nice sound) but Hurricane just punches Ryder and tosses him over the rope and his music hits.

Segment Rating: C
No comment.

ECW Homecoming Finale is hyped.

Match #1: Zack Ryder vs Hurricane

We begin seeing Ryder shooting Hurricane off the ropes and Hurricane connects with a shoulder block. Hurricane runs off the ropes, Ryder lies down, Hurricane jumps over, Ryder jumps and Hurricane rolls through and connects with an Arm Drag and another, followed by a knee to the arm. Ryder gets back up on his feet and Hurricane whips him off the ropes. Ryder attempts a Sunset Flip but Hurricane rolls through once again and places a kick to the groin. Ryder counters a corner-to-corner whip and Hurricane attempts a counter by bouncing off the rope (I’m not too sure how to describe it) but Ryder stops, and when Hurricane turns around, Ryder places a boot to the gut and tosses his adversary shoulder first into the steel post. Hurricane falls down onto his haunches and leans against the bottom turnbuckle, and Ryder performs a facewash. Ryder pulls Hurricane out of the ropes and gets a two count. Ryder then locks in a sleeper hold thing. Hurricane gets up, and Ryder knees him in the gut, followed by a neckbreaker. Ryder continues the offense and scrapes his forearm on Hurricane’s face then misses an elbow drop. Ryder lands a few blows before Hurricane fights back with kicks. Hurricane whips Ryder off the ropes, but Ryder counters a back body drop with a kick and a mat slam thing for a two. Ryder places his knee on the Hurricane’s neck on the ropes and kicks him on the back before choking him again. Ryder attempts a neckbreaker but Hurricane pushes him off and attempts a roll up, but Ryder hangs on to the ropes and fights back with a Roughryder for the two. Ryder lands some blows and taunts Hurricane. Hurricane fights back with some punches and Ryder reverses an Irish whip and sends Hurricane almost over the top rope and gets a two count. Ryder locks in a head lock, and Hurricane fights back with punches and a jawbreaker then a neckbreaker. Both men are down, and Hurricane seems pumped up. Ryder counters a corner whip and is met with a boot. Hurricane lands a missile dropkick then whips Ryder off the ropes and lands a Hurripress. Ryder fights back with a headbutt and whips Hurricane into the corner to be met with an elbow, followed by some clothesline kind of thing. Hurricane goes up by Ryder cuts him off and connects with a Zack Attack for the three count.

Segment Rating: B
Very decent opening match, and I enjoyed two of a few my favorite ECW superstars fight it out in the ring.

Segment #2: ECW Homecoming Finale Promo

CM Punk brags about how he’ll be the new ECW Champion and him being the only three time straightedge champion, and how that converted the “poison masses” to the straightedge lifestyle. He says winning the ECW Championship gives him the power to cause ECW to seize to exist, and instead his straightedge society.

Segment Rating: C
Decent promo, but same old same old. BORING.

Match #2: Goldust vs Trent Baretta (w/ Caylen Croft)

Both men begin locked up. Baretta whips Goldust off the ropes and is met with a shoulder block followed by another and kicks out at one. Goldust nails an arm drag and locks in an arm lock. He attempts an arm wrench but Barretta throws his forearm to break it up. Baretta sends Goldust off the ropes and attempts to leap over him but Goldust places an inverted atomic drop, then a slingshot to the rope which places Baretta’s back on Goldust’s knees. Baretta breaks up another arm wrench with a kick and a forearm. Goldust reverses an Irish whip to land a hip attack, and clotheslines Baretta outside. Barreta leaps over Goldust, who attempted a spear while Baretta was on the apron, and places a very nice leg drop. Baretta squeals like a pig/female/mix and nails a clothesline. Goldust is rolled back in, and Baretta gets some sort of Camel Clutch in. He releases his grasp and nails elbow drops for a one. Baretta locks in another submission hold and Goldust fights out of it with punches. Baretta is tosses over with a back body drop. Baretta whips Goldust off into the corner and attempts a move from the rebound but Goldust nails a powerslam. Both men get back up on their feet and Goldust lands punches and a couple of clotheslines before being whipped off into the ropes and countering a back body drop. Goldust connects with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a Bulldog to get the two count. Goldust tries to get Baretta for a suplex kind of move but Baretta counters and attempts the same, but Goldust reverses again and pushes him into the ropes, kicks him and attempts an Inverted Suplex but Baretta lands on his feet. Goldust strikes Baretta in the corner before being elbowed in the face. Baretta with another girly scream and a big knee to the jaw for the three.

Segment Rating: B
Same like the opening, it was a very decent match. Nice to see Baretta work a non-jobber match as well as Goldust.

Segment #3: ECW Homecoming Finale Promo #2

Ezekiel talks about the book of Ezekiel… Yada yada. Boring.

Segment Rating: D-
Boring.

WWE.com advertising.

RAW Rebound.

Match #3: ECW Homecoming Finale – CM Punk vs Yoshi Tatsu vs Vance Archer vs Evan Bourne vs Shelton Benjamin vs Ezekiel Jackson vs Matt Hardy vs Kane

Tiffany’s entrance music seems cute and sexy. My first time hearing it.

Tiffany begins by talking about the ECW Homecoming, and then introduces Christian as the special guest commentator. Apparently, Christian made a list of questions they could ask.
 
Shelton Benjamin starts pounding on Archer before the bell even rings and suddenly, the fire erupts and Kane makes his way to the ring!!!

Since there are 8 participants, I will be writing four perspectives:

Benjamin, Yoshi and Punk get knocked down immediately. Bourne leaps off the top to get caught and thrown out of the ring.

EVAN BOURNE IS ELIMINATED!!!

Everybody does some uninteresting stuff: CM Punk vs Kane, Ezekiel vs Hardy vs Yoshi, Archer vs Benjamin. Kane attempts to throw Punk off over the top but Punk fights his way out to safety.
More uninteresting stuff goes on.
Ezekiel and Hardy are almost eliminated but both are safe. Kane attempts to throw Archer over the top and same with Benjamin with Punk but both are back in.
Replay is shown so I can’t see much.
Archer tries to put Kane out but Yoshi saves him. Hardy tries to push Ezekiel off but Ezekiel powers him off. Punk tries to eliminate Benjamin (and comes close) but Archer saves him.
More uninteresting stuff.
Yoshi attempts to eliminate Punk but Punk saves himself and attempts to suplex Yoshi out. Hardy is on the top and fights Kane off, and elbows him. Yoshi throws Punk over the top but he hangs on and rolls back in.

Commercial break.

None of these men are eliminated yet.
More uninteresting stuff happens.
Yoshi tosses Punk out again but he hangs on and rolls back in.
Benjamin gets Archer on the apron, and he and Hardy try to eliminate him. Benjamin leaps over the top and performs a very nice double elimination!

VANCE ARCHER IS ELIMINATED!!!
SHELTON BENJAMIN IS ELIMINATED!!!

Uninteresting stuff…

Benjamin is still trying to continue his fight with Archer.
Hardy saves Yoshi from elimination from Kane. Christian’s neighbor’s a nice guy, by the way.
Hardy nails a Side Effect on Yoshi and attempts one on Ezekiel, but he’s elbowed off. Hardy kicks Ezekiel in the face and leaps off the top to be caught and thrown over the top rope.
WAIT!!!
He’s skinned the cat!!!
Oh wait never mind, he just got kicked off.

MATT HARDY IS ELIMINATED!!!

Four men are left, and Punk attempts to get the offense started but Kane cuts him off. Kane whips him into the corner, Punk evades and connects with a knee. He attempts a Bulldog but is thrown into Ezekiel who nails a clothesline. After Punk is down, he clotheslines Kane down as well. Ezekiel tosses Punk over the top rope and the crowd goes WILD!!!

CM PUNK IS ELIMINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111ONEONEONEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!

Yoshi mounts an offense on Kane and has him backed up into the corner. He attempts the roll through kick on Kane but Kane counters and tosses Yoshi over the top!!

YOSHI TATSU IS ELIMINATED SADFAEC

However, the crowd couldn’t be bothered!! They’re still pumped up after Punk was thrown out!!

Kane and Ezekiel are left!!

The juggernauts lock up and Ezekiel tosses Kane away then showboats. They lock up again, and Ezekiel backs Kane up against the ropes and tries to push him over but Kane fights him off and attempts the same before being kneed. Ezekiel lands a few powerful blows, then nearly tosses Kane over the top with a slam thing but Kane slips out back and lands a MASSIVE Uppercut!! Another Uppercut and Kane attempts to toss Ezekiel over as well. Ezekiel fights Kane off and attempts to clothesline him over but Kane catches him and attempts a Chokeslam but Ezekiel fights him off with elbows. Ezekiel charges but is met with a BIG boot from Kane!! Kane goes up top and Ezekiel ducks a Flying Clothesline and clothesline Kane out!!!

KANE IS ELIMINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!

EZEKIEL JACKSON IS THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE ECW CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Segment Rating: C+
It was quite a solid match, but it was boring at some points. Punk really is working his gimmick well, since everyone was so glad that Punk was eliminated.

Total Show Rating: C+

The matches were great indeed, but I think the promos are the ones that kinda bored me out. Well, I have no other specific comments to make for this show, besides that it was a decent one.

Man, it’s great to write in your underwear.
Don’t you think?
Try it.
Kthxbai.
>:C

Comments

1. Comment #1

   ECW needs to think of stuff to keep the WWE Universe interested cause so far its just crap they need to go back to the full on bloodbath HARDCORE matches not this wussy stuff thats on now

   Posted by karaccer on Saturday, January 16, 2010

2. Comment #2

   nice report.
   really.
   I personally thought Evan or Shelton was gonna win

   Posted by Roy Goos on Saturday, January 16, 2010

3. Comment #3

   I watched this... I remember saying "off goes Baldy" when Kane was eliminated XD
   Anyway, nice report ^_^

   Posted by LOL on Saturday, January 16, 2010

4. Comment #4

   I wanna try it but i don't have underwear :(

   Posted by Kane95 on Saturday, January 16, 2010

5. Comment #5

   great article Ezeikal jackson = OVERRATED evan bourne = UNDERRATED

   Posted by matt on Saturday, January 16, 2010

6. Comment #6

   Nice article. I hope you can make it a little more concise so that it will be a better read.

   Posted by Derrick on Sunday, January 17, 2010

7. Comment #7

   Far out, why does everyone keep wanting the 'extreme' ECW to come back? There is no chance in hell that Vince will let it happen for many reasons. One. It puts every superstar's health in major danger. Two. WWE is now PG. Three. He hates it.

   Posted by Inversion on Monday, January 18, 2010

8. Comment #8

   Well ECW stands for Extreme Chamionship Wrestling and Its not extreme anymore

   Posted by T.J. on Sunday, January 24, 2010

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