The Fist Lays the Smackdown! for 07/10/09

THE WRESTLING GAME AND MADAM SNAPSHOT PRESENTS:

THE FIST LAYS THE SMACKDOWN!

We start tonight with Jeff Hardy sporting the pirate eye-patch look as he comes to ringside for his match. Before it starts though, he has a little to say about last week. They show a clip (Which can be seen on my SmackDown report last week. =P) of last week’s main event. Jeff claims that his eye injury is as serious as CM Punk’s. (For the record, that means Jeff thinks Punk is lying…)Jeff takes off the eye-patch as his foe comes to the ring.

MATCH #1

JEFF HARDY VS. KANE

Jeff starts this match with a flurry of attacks, but then Kane hits him once and gets a near fall for his uppercut. Hardy gets up and tries a Twist Of Fate, only to find a kick to his stomach into a suplex onto the top rope followed with a big boot to the dangling Hardy. Commercials happen here!

We come back to seeing a crying Jeff being choked by Kane on the ropes. He sets Jeff up and does a running dropkick to Jeff’s head. Jeff kicks out. Kane goes into a bear hug, and Jeff fires some Elbows and jawbreaker to get free and re-take the initiative. A few drop kicks later and a near fall for Jeff. Kane gets up first and pulls out a wicked rib breaker. He then picks Jeff up and tosses him under the bottom rope into the ring post. Kane then does another running dropkick into Hardy who’s still against the ring post. (Awesome! I can see why The Vince likes him so much now.) Jeff goes for a move off the turnbuckle, Kane counters with a Chokeslam, only to be countered by Jeff with a Whisper in The Wind. Near fall for Jeff. Jeff lands a ToF, and then goes for a swanton bomb only to see CM Punk come down to the ring. As Jeff looks over at Punk, Kane gets up and Chokeslams him from the top. 1,2,3.

WINNER – KANE

Match Rating – 8/10

This was a great match to start us out with. Kane did what he needed to do, and Jeff did what he needed to make this a great match.

It’s Cryme Time with another edition of Word Up! Today’s word is Bromance. It’s when two guys have look to have a deep relationship with one another so that it looks like they’re a couple, when they aren’t. Also, apparently the Hart Dynasty are in a Bromance because of their love of pink and being locked in a wrestling “dungeon” together. Jesse steps back into the picture sporting his new Wangsta appearance. He’s having a party! Aww, his parents must be out of town and he’s lonely. Well, Cryme Time locks him up in a fenced off room for looking desperate. I hope he didn’t have to use the bathroom or anything.

Morrison and Teddy Long discuss their future music careers together as a strange knock sounds off behind them. Dolph Ziggler appears from a nearby closet somewhat disheveled. Morrison, upon seeing Dolph lets loose with a “It’s about time you came out of the closet.” Morrison leaves Dolph standing there somewhat confused. That is, until Maria appears from the same closet. One smack on the butt later to Ziggler, and I vomit.

Another ten minutes of wretching from me pass before I muster the courage to hit play again... Lucky for me, it’s another match from the vault next!

PSUDEO MATCH #2

MATT HARDY VS. FINLAY

Shoulder attacks from Finlay on Matt over and over. Seriously, over and over. Jeff eventually mounts some sort of offense. Hornswoggle comes out and distracts Finlay. Jamie Noble pulls on Hornswoggle and chases him out the ring, and Finlay gets counted out trying to save the then cruiserweight champion.

WINNER – Matt Hardy

Match Rating – 3/10

Armbars aren’t that entertaining guys. Come on. Jamie Noble? Is he even WITH the WWE anymore? Who cares? *facepalm*

MATCH #3

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. JOHN MORRISON

They both begin trading headlock after headlock, until Morrison gets the upper hand. Ziggler gets to the ropes and demands the Morrison let him go. Morrison takes this as an opportunity to mess up Dolph’s hair. I giggle. Dolph uses the break to land a diving forearm shot at Morrison to take control. Morrison fires back with a back elbow knocking Dolph out. Then Morrison lands a spinning suicide crossbody to Dolph outside. Dolph retakes control and lands a series of elbow drops for a two count. Morrison lands a punishing running knee to Dolph’s head, and Dolph retaliates with a belly to back turning powerslam. (Both moves looked BRUTAL.) Morrison goes for a Jumping Swinging DDT, Ziggler counters into a roll up and holds the tights for the win!

WINNER – Dolph Ziggler

Match Rating – 6/10

This was a fine showing for both of these guys, regardless of how I feel about Dolph and Maria… Ick.

R-Truth is apparently Pretty Ricky if you slap on some really bad buck gold teeth. WWE, you had someone somewhat marketable with R-Truth. Don’t you like money anymore?

MATCH #4

MELINA & EVE TORRES VS. MICHELLE McCOOL & LAYLA

As the ladies enter the ring, JR asks “What three words would you use to describe our Divas?” If you listened close enough, you could hear me shout the three words I would use. They fight a bit. Lalya tries to hit Melina, but Melina ducks. Oh no, she hit Michelle instead. Melina does a roll up for a win.

WINNER – Does it really matter? Melina and Eve Torres

Match Rating – N/a

To give this match a rating would do a disservice to the Kane/Hardy match earlier.

Girlfight continues after the match is called. No one cares, no matter how hard the announcers try.

Jeff Hardy at ringside, but won’t be doing commentary.

MATCH #5

CM PUNK VS. THE GREAT KHALI

Jeff Hardy is given a seat at the announcer’s table as the match gets underway. Punk gets a microphone before the match, and complains about his eye some more. Then another “Kids and Jeff, don’t do drugs”. Jeff looks sad and despondent… or smug. I can never really tell. Then, just when I got tired of all the preaching, The Great Khali comes to the ring to cut it short.

Khali and Punk exchange a few hits before Khali gets bored and tosses out a Punjabi Plunge on Punk. Before he can make the pin though, Kane makes his way to ringside with a Steel Chair. Punk uses this time to exit the ring, and Khali’s valet slides Khali a chair of his own.  Kane swings first, DQ. Each subsequent chair shot apparently viewed a member of the audience, rather than showing the impact… Bleh.

WINNER – THE GREAT KHALI

Match Rating – 2/10

This was a chance to get Kane out here with a chair for some good ole fashion ass kicking. The match was garbage though.

Khali takes the hit, and then punches the next chair shot away. He uses his own chair on Kane before Kane takes a strategic retreat.

MATCH #6

CRYME TYME VS. THE HART DYNASTY w/ NATALYA

After a clip of the win for Cryme Tyme last week (Read last week’s article to find out more!) the match gets underway. JTG starts off with a decent offense by clearing the ring of the Hart Dynasty. He follows after Tyson Kidd outside the ring, only to get his face slammed into the announcer’s table. Shad comes in and powers around Smith, before distraction after distraction, first from JTG and then from Natalya allows the Hart Dynasty to double team Shad without referee interference. That’s all she wrote.

WINNER – THE HART DYNASTY

Match Rating – 4/10

Had this match been a bit longer, or showed of any one of these men’s talents significantly, I might have changed my tune.

Hey look! It’s a Raw recap! You can see all of that on The Vince’s article yourself.

MATCH #7

CHRIS JERICHO VS. REY MYSTERIO (C)

Jericho takes the fight to Rey and tosses Rey out of the ring. Jericho dashes out to join him as Rey re-enters the ring. A dropkick through the ropes knocks Jericho to the ground. Rey gets back in, and Jericho counters a dash into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rey recovers as Jericho tries to flip him out of the ring. Rey lands on the apron, but before he can retaliate, Jericho counters by throwing Rey into the ring post.  Oh look! A commercial break.

When we come back, we see Rey being tossed from the ring yet again. The crowd begins chanting for Rey as Jericho puts him in a sleeper hold. Rey overcomes and knocks Jericho to his knees on the second rope. Jericho wakes up and catches Rey with a spinning torture rack style breaker gets a near fall. Jericho uses the next couple of minutes berating Rey about his lack of 619-ness. Rey counters another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by dropping out and landing a series of kicks into a springboard cross body for a 2 count. Rey keeps on the pressure, Jericho counters his dropkick with a wheel barrel, only for Rey to counter it into a bulldog for another near fall. Rey goes for another dropkick, but Jericho counters with a powerbomb into a pin for a near fall. Jericho whips Rey to the ropes, Rey counters with a head scissors, and Jericho counters that into The Walls Of Jericho. Rey attacks Jericho’s legs and tries to go for a sunset flip, but Jericho counters pin attempt, that Rey counters into ANOTHER pin attempt, that Jericho uses to… Oh god really? ANOTHER ANOTHER Pin attempt? It ends with Jericho being knocked to the second rope. Jericho is quick and clever, and not only gets out of the way, he opens the ropes so that Rey falls through instead. Commercial Break again.

We come back to see Jericho dominating Rey some more with a turnbuckle clothesline crumpling the masked warrior to the ground. A near fall, but Rey grabs the bottom rope. Jericho lands a spinning muscle buster on Rey (Awesome!!!!) but only gets a 2 count. Rey tries a springboard moonsault, only to get a running turnbuckle slam instead from Jericho. A running bulldog by Jericho, leads up to a Lionsault. Rey gets out of the way, but Jericho knew he would and turns another jumping headscissors into a Walls Of Jericho. Rey uses all his heart to crawl to the rope to get a rope break. Jericho tries a running dropkick to the downed Rey, but Rey gets out of the way, and counters with a springboard moonsault to Jericho outside of the ring. Rey rolls Jericho back into the ring, and goes for a flying crossbody, that gets countered into a mid-air Codebreaker. Rey kicks out at 2. Jericho gets tripped up, and suffers a 619. Rey gets the win.

WINNER – REY MYSTERIO

Match rating – 9/10

I personally think this match was BETTER than the one at The Bash, but that’s just my opinion. It was a great match of counters and flying. Why isn’t it a 10/10? I’ll leave that question to you. ^_~

Edge comes to try to attack Rey after the match, but Rey gets out of the way… Only to be attacked by Dolph Ziggler from behind! Dolph tossed Rey back into the ring so Edge could spear him. Uh oh! Edge helps Jericho land another Codebreaker. They invite Dolph into the ring to finish Rey off.

SHOW RATING – 7/10

This was a great show with the exception of the women’s match and the “match from the vault”. This was quality. Had they filled those time slots with something better, this could have easily been a 9. EASILY.

Comments

1. Comment #1

   great article

   Posted by Jordan Hardy on Sunday, July 12, 2009

2. Comment #2

   good article, I enjoyed reading it all =D 10/10

   Posted by DClaw on Sunday, July 12, 2009

3. Comment #3

   Just a note about the tag team championships - now that edge has been injured, what do we think will happen to the tag team titles? Personally I hope that they un-unify them, because titles going over all three brands just contradict the whole point of the brands, and the drafts, which i love.

   Posted by Killomoto on Sunday, July 12, 2009

4. Comment #4

   That vomit basket of yours must be getting full :P

   Posted by Bolar on Sunday, July 12, 2009

5. Comment #5

   Killomoto - Well, the tag scene is pretty dry as it is. I can only really think of 4 tag teams total excluding the champs (Colons, Legacy, Hart Dynasty, Cryme Tyme). Separating the belts would give you a 40% chance of being tag champ by simply BEING in a tag team. Bleh.

   Posted by Madam Snapshot on Sunday, July 12, 2009

6. Comment #6

   Heh. Great article, and NOT as negative as I thought it would be. fun read, and it highlighted important parts for people who may not have seen the show. good all around, Snaps

   Posted by Malice on Sunday, July 12, 2009

7. Comment #7

   Malice - Believe me, the only negative things I could find were really the vault match, the women's tag match, and the Dolph/Maria promo. The promo, however, at least does something where as the other matches just didn't. Besides, that Kane/Hardy match and the Jericho/Rey match MORE than made up for it

   Posted by Madam Snapshot on Sunday, July 12, 2009

8. Comment #8

   I actually liked this edition of Smackdown. Punk's promo on Hardy was reminiscent of his Indy days and just gives me more hope for a full heel "I'm straightedge and better than you" turn for him in the near future. Good article as well, I'll have to start reading yours regularly.

   Posted by American Samurai on Sunday, July 12, 2009

9. Comment #9

   what happened to the FIST? now it's the CUSHION. i liked the fact that you slammed smackdown snaps - what happened?

   Posted by Corrosion on Sunday, July 12, 2009

10. Comment #10

    Corrosion - If they gave me something to mock more heavily, believe me, I would have. I wanted too, but I didn't want to waste words on the women's match or the stupid Finlay armbar-o-rama. -_-

    Posted by Madam Snapshot on Sunday, July 12, 2009

11. Comment #11

    You're finally catching on. Mentioning my name, praising the Big Red Machine, discounting a diva's match? I'm in love.

    Posted by Vince on Sunday, July 12, 2009

12. Comment #12

    That was a great smackdown, good recap.

    Posted by Jack West on Monday, July 13, 2009

13. Comment #13

    wooo go slam-master J! AKA Jezze! AKA Jay~dat! "Because we have it 'Just Like Dat!'"

    Posted by wangsta from anothermother on Monday, July 13, 2009

14. Comment #14

    Ummm... silly for asking, but is anyone else here from New Zealand, if so, do they see those pseudo matches? because i don't...

    Posted by Crazy Steve on Monday, July 13, 2009

15. Comment #15

    man smackdown is just kicking raws ass at the moment i think smackdown should go live just like raw and go on a better network, i really wanna see the ratings and whos got btter ratings between raw and smackdown cause smackdown really rules raw at the moment

    Posted by Rofl Kid on Monday, July 13, 2009

16. Comment #16

    rey rey is the best !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by rey on Monday, July 13, 2009

17. Comment #17

    i think it was stupid that a former cruiserweight champ could not beat Hornswoggle
    
    and eddy the fist never said he isn't in wwe

    Posted by matt on Monday, July 13, 2009

18. Comment #18

    I believe she meant that no one cares if Jamie Noble is part of WWE anymore or not, as in he is a lost cause like many of the non mainstream wrestlers.
    
    Another great article by the way, Madam Snapshot. Didn't get to watch Smackdown as MyNetwork was down all day for me on Friday, so I thank you for the review to give me some insight on what did happen.
    
    As far as the tag team outlook is, it is even worse than that. The Colons look to be breaking up after Carlito attacked Primo, and with Ted Jr possibly breaking off from Legacy in the near future for his solo career and probable feud with Orton, that would leave Hart Dynasty and Cryme Tyme. Possible new team of Jericho and Ziggler would be a good idea, in my opinion.
    
    Not sure what the whole Maria/Ziggler storyline is supposed to be about, and probably do not care to know. Do not see a point in it myself at the moment, but I'm sure it will lead to something stupid. The WWE storywriters have a lot of GREAT ideas, too bad all of them suck.
    
    All that seemed left for me to comment about as you covered everything pretty well, Madam. Keep up the good work and will look forward to next Friday's report.

    Posted by MSW on Monday, July 13, 2009

19. Comment #19

    I enjoyed reading this :) Just saw one typo but nothing major obviously haha :D. Probz cos you, like us, weren bothered with the from the vault match.
    Jeff eventually mounts some sort of offense. It was Matt lol.
    I agree they really need to get the women FIGHTING...Not just showing them off! I like Michelle McCool tho.
    You seem to be a HUGE Kane fan haha. Well done :D Kane and Undertaker are the best!!!

    Posted by Chriso on Monday, July 13, 2009

20. Comment #20

    I'm sure that Dolph/Maria storyline is to make Maria heel or Dolph face

    Posted by Eddy on Monday, July 13, 2009

21. Comment #21

    Another great article Madam. Really gave a good review of the show.

    Posted by Midwest Massacre (aka Carter Wright) on Tuesday, July 14, 2009

22. Comment #22

    Madam Snapshot...

    Posted by GABY CENA™ on Tuesday, July 14, 2009

23. Comment #23

    Zigler is awesome regardless of the crap promo.

    Posted by The Paco on Wednesday, July 15, 2009

24. Comment #24

    What's going on with Cryme Tyme's "word up?" All these words were done when they first started it on wwe.com. are we going through every word again?..
    
    "Shoulder attacks from Finlay on Matt over and over. Seriously, over and over. Jeff eventually mounts some sort of offense. Hornswoggle comes out and distracts Finlay. Jamie Noble pulls on Hornswoggle and chases him out the ring, and Finlay gets counted out trying to save the then cruiserweight champion." -- i missed Smackdown! this week, and lemme say, thats th emost confusing thing I've ever read on one of these articles.
    
    Grade: B, in comparasin to Vince, your raw rival (that i just appointed) = C+

    Posted by Edgehead on Wednesday, July 15, 2009

25. Comment #25

    "Shoulder attacks from Finlay on Matt over and over. Seriously, over and over. Jeff eventually mounts some sort of offense"
    
    lol i dont think the hardyz could, or would, pull off the Bella Twins trick.
    

    Posted by Corrosion, AGAIN on Saturday, July 18, 2009

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