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The Fist Lays the Smackdown for 10/02/09 |
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THE FIST LAYS THE 10th ANNIVERSARY OF SMACKDOWN! I get the feeling tonight is going to be an obscene amount of montages. With the premier of a new theme song, they pump up everyone with their love of the Rock. Oh, and this is the episode before the PPV? Oh man. Nothing good will come from this. I write this as I watch it, so I hope I'm wrong. Let's see how wrong I am! They start with a bunch of WWE stars eating and drinking backstage. Because we all know that we need some drunken stars making out backstage on a PG show. Oh, and Hornswoggle was the bartender? Really? They decide to showcase Smackdown moment #64. That would be when Rey Mysterio and Batista won the tag matches. They took great care to not mention WHO they won it against though. Perhaps in the comments, someone will enlighten me. MATCH #1 BATISTA VS. KANE Batista and Kane trade hits early, but Batista comes out ahead with a kick to Kane's head. Batista locks on a headlock, but Kane turns it into a back body drop. Kane starts working Batista over with an whip to smash Batista's arm into the corner. The announcers cry and whine that Batista's arm was just injured and it's "So dangerous for Batista." Kane locks in an armlock, but Batista gets to his feet and tosses Kane over the ropes. This leads us into... COMMERCIAL BREAK! The Department Of Motor Vehicles wants you to know that your time is important to them. That's why they choose to take SO MUCH OF IT when going in for something as simple as a question, or a title change. How can you avoid this time sink? You can't. Get over it. You're no more important than anyone else... Unless you have a bribe. The DMV... We're not happy until YOU'RE not happy. We return to see Kane with yet another armbar. Batista gets himself into a whip, and both he and Kane exchange big boots. Batista gets to his feet first, lands a diving shoulder block and then into corner splash. Batista goes for another one, but Kane counters the whip for his own and drops Batista. Kane goes to the top and lands a diving clothesline, laying Batista out. Kane goes for his chokeslam, but Batista counters with a spinebuster. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Kane gets out of it. Batista knocks Kane down and goes for something, but Kane catches him for a chokeslam, but Batista gets out of the way, only to get tossed into the corner. Kane goes for 10 punches, but Batista just throws Kane down with a Batista Bomb. Batista pins and wins. WINNER - BATISTA Match Rating - 6/10 Not too bad. *shrug* Backstage, Teddy is meeting and greeting everyone backstage. Finlay and Michael Cole decides getting Teddy drunk is a great idea! Finlay makes a toast, but CM Punk is here to stop all this drinking. He decides to stop booze from being allowed backstage. Teddy walks back to see to see Vickie Guererro come back. Teddy listens to Vickie and 'Escobar' talk about how they're on the show now, and she's his new manager. Yes, I threw up a little in my mouth right there. Teddy has a dark hand grasp his shoulder as a bell tolls... But it's just Santino there to 'make with funny!' Teddy gets over it and decides to take his shot. Hornswoggle kicks Cole, and walks into MVP's special 'locked area' with Mark Henry acting as doorman. A horde of divas and Iron Sheik into the rink as Zack Ryder gets snubbed. Aww. Cue the "Tribute To Eddie Guererro" here. Nothing I can really say here that hasn't been said better by better people elsewhere. MATCH #2 JOHN MORRISON AND KOFI KINGSTON VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER AND THE MIZ Former tag champions fighting each other, and Jack Swagger is sitting at ringside? Aww. Miz starts off with a few cheap shots on Morrison before getting dropkicked out of the ring. Ziggler looks to make a save, but Kofi leaps in, forcing Ziggles to retreat. With team douchebag outside of the ring recovering it's time for... COMMERCIAL BREAK! Zombies. Hate 'em, right? The undead are a plague upon this earth that must be eradicated without prejudice. There's no such thing as a good zombie. The Fist presents her signature zombie slaying weapon! It's an expertly crafted chain, with a small sickle on the end of each side. Decapitate and Defend yourself with The Fist's Manriki-Gusari. Comes in three stylish paint jobs! My favorite is the one that's painted with flames! We return to Ziggles almost costing the match as Kofi goes for a pin. Jack Swagger decides to insult Kofi, which gives Ziggles all the distraction needed to grab Kofi's head and leap over the ropes. Ziggles tags out and Miz lands a Double Axe Handle (I hate that move) on Kofi. Miz goes into a headlock into a backbreaker. Miz locks Kofi into a catapult position as Ziggles tags himself in. Miz goes for the launch, only for Kofi to punch Dolph in the face. Kofi tries for a tag, but Ziggles rips Kofi back into his corner. Ziggler goes into a headlock, but before Kofi can get out, Ziggler lands a neckbreaker and tags out. Miz tries to spear Kofi, but he dodges getting the hot tag. Both men tag, but Morrison comes out on top with a dropkick. A Standing Shooting Star press later for a 2 count. Miz goes for the save, but Morrison chases him out. Kofi attacks Miz outside, but the distraction is all it took for Ziggles to land the Zig Zag for the pinfall. WINNERS - THE MIZ AND DOLPH ZIGGLER Match Rating - 7/10 The holds, when they were, were short. It was action pretty much the entire fight. Karaoke backstage, some drinking, some shameless behavior. Jericho and Big Show decide to regale us with all of their many exploits. They are rewarded with Cole puking on Jericho's shoes. His face though, it priceless. When Show looks, he throws up too. The Rock does a couple takes trying to get his start back. Then, after it takes him 4 starts, he's apparently come back to SmackDown. He takes his shot at Ziggles and CM Punk too. He new name should be BM Punk, for Bowel Movement Punk. He then regales us with how painful the Tombstone Piledriver is, and how there will be a new World Heavyweight Champion. He then teases us with a Raw appearance. MATCH #3 is LUMBERJACK MATCH FOR THE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MELINA VS. MICHELLE McCOOL I don't think the announcers should be telling everyone that "They are so SMART." Yes, that's what the idiots who enjoy these matches care about. Lots of hair pulling, some stomps. Oh boy, lots of screaming. Melina decides to fight the lumberjacks rather than Michelle. All the Diva's decide to fight amongst themselves, but Beth Phoenix distracts Melina, giving Michelle the opportunity for a Faithbreaker for the win. WINNER - MICHELLE McCOOL Match Rating - I still don't care. Had Todd and JR not told me WHICH Diva interfered, I wouldn't have known. I still don't care though. The Undertaker has a special recorded message for Punk! Wow! I care! Apparently, the Undertaker plans on selling CM Punk drugs after he beats Punk at Hell In A Cell. That's... inappropriate. Drew McIntyre takes the mic and makes a toast to the future champ... himself. Oh, R-Truth doesn't respect that, and jumps Drew. MATCH #4 DEGENERATION X, JOHN CENA, AND THE UNDERTAKER VS. LEGACY, RANDY ORTON, AND CM PUNK All of the entrances themselves were longer than the match itself. Of course, I blame The Undertaker's twelve hour entrance. Cena starts us of against Rhodes with a series of attacks. Cena tags in HHH, as Rhodes quickly flees to his corner to tag in DiBiase. HHH lands a series of punches and a neckbreaker for a 2 count. Michaels gets tagged in, and DiBiase gets worked on some more with armbars, and while Undertaker tags himself in against Michaels. Michaels and Undertaker glare at each other as Undertaker swats at DiBiase for merely getting in the way. This leads us to... COMMERCIAL BREAK! One hit, and you're lucky. Two hits, and you're still lucky. Three hits, you start to wonder. Four hits, you wish things were different. Five hits, and your world is trembling. Six hits, and you can't believe it's happening. Seven hits, you PRAY this is all a bad dream... Eight Hits though... 8 Hits until you're beaten by a girl. We return to the Undertaker beating on Rhodes. Taker tags out to HHH, who lands a LENGTHY stalling Suplex. HHH tags in Michaels, but Rhodes pounds his way out and tags in DiBiase, who lands a few hits before tagging in Orton. A few cheap shots in the corner until another tag into Punk. More cheap shots and a tag to Orton. Michaels lands a back drop to Orton as he gets the tag to Cena. Cena lands shoulder blocks into a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Ref gets distracted as Rhodes and Dibiase double team on Cena. One High-Low later, we break for... COMMERCIAL BREAK! You will not believe the sale I found on shoes the other day. Yeah! I found them crammed up my foes behind! What? I left them them from a previous battle? Aww, I wondered where those went! Punk drop kicks Cena in the back as he gets a 2 count. Punk tags in Orton, who decides to pound on Cena's chest and then lands a knee drop for a 2 count. Orton lands a DDT for another 2 count. Orton tags out to DiBiase. DiBiase locks in a headlock, and Cena powers out... that is until DiBiase kicks him down. Cena lands a back drop and makes a hot tag to HHH, as DiBiase tags in Punk. HHH with a raising knee into a spinebuster. HHH tags in Taker, and Punk tags in Orton and runs away. Taker tosses Orton around like a rag doll with a Snakeeyes, into a big boot. Orton lands his backbreaker on Taker, but Taker almost locks in Hell's Gate. Rhodes comes in to break that up, as HHH break Rhodes out of the ring. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream on HHH, and Michaels lands a Sweet Chin Music on DiBiase. HHH lands the Pedigree on DiBiase for good measure. Punk tries to come in, but Cena Attitude Adjust's Punk, right over the top rope onto Legacy. Orton is in the center of the ring all alone against all 4 of his foes, as the Undertaker lands the Tombstone Piledriver for the 3 count. WINNERS - UNDERTAKER, HHH, SHAWN MICHAELS, AND JOHN CENA Match Rating - 9/10 I *really* liked the ending here. There may not have been many matches, and except for the Women's Title match, it was all good. Blue confetti drops from the heavens as team face celebrate in the ring. Show Rating - 8/10 Good work all around... I typically dislike tag matches, and even more dislike the bigger tag matches, but this one was the exception, rather than the rule. I am the Fist, and I am out! Views: 652 
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COMMENTS |
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Comment # 1
My own 1st!
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 2
Second...nice job ^_^
Posted by Matt Marshall on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 3
Third... Good Article
Posted by This is Domination on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 4
Fourth... Some reason, I just watched the promos and played my other games when I watched the matches.
...What the hell is wrong with me?!?!
Posted by F5inator on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 5
Ummm, Madam Snapshot, wasn't it MNM they beat? Because i thought it did say
But good article, i enjoyed it
Posted by Crazy Steve on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 6
='( what you have against zombies?
Posted by the cursed man mq.......an angry zombie now on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 7
Batista and Rey did beat MNM. I don't think they SAID who Dave and Rey beat, but you could see who they were during the promo!
Posted by The Destructornator on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 8
You should have mentioned joey styles after michael cole puked lol OMG!!
But you cant really complain the show was good for once its seemed like it ditched the PG rating for one night :)
BTW at the start of the Flashback of rey/batista, they said against MNM for the tag titles
Posted by Jason Callahan on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 9
I liked the look on Takers face when the confetti rained down on him ;)
Posted by Playtime on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 10
I like not knowing the past. It gives me a fresh view. Who the hell are MNM? What does that stand for? It can't possibly just mean MNM. >_>
Posted by Madam Snapshot on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 11
melina,nitro,mercury MNM . I didnt know who they beat so when I read the article I assumed you meant Chris Beniot
Posted by The Legend Slayer on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 12
Brilliant artical
Agree with you on everything
Posted by Annihilater on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 13
Good work.
As always.
My favourite Manriki-Gusari is the one painted with the blood of my foes...
Posted by Your Boss on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 14
MNM, as previously stated by The Legend Slayer was the team name for Melina, Nitro and Mercury. Nitro has since became John Morrison, Mercury has since became released after that hideous nose ladder attack, and Melina is on SD, as you know. Not only did the divas managed to get inside the VIP lounge, with Iron Shiek, but Charlie Haas snuck in too!
Posted by Meds on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 15
HOORAY no boring hart dynasty
Posted by azuzu on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 16
also this is smackdown, excluding the woman wrestlers, why were only 6 smackdown stars used? jericho,morrison, yang & ziggles :) are the only TALENT left :(
Posted by azuzu on Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Comment # 17
& mcintyre, that guy is awesome definately a better wrestler now then when he was with dave taylor
Posted by azuzu on Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Comment # 18
I really wish they'd time their commercial breaks in the middle of their bullshit segments instead of the matches... Thanks for the excellent review as usual :)
Posted by Beastardo on Thursday, October 08, 2009
Comment # 19
WTF!? They had RAW & ECW wrestlers on Smackdown's 10th anniversary? Why?
Posted by Tyler Higdon on Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Comment # 20
nice i hate smackdown iam a raw man
Posted by luca 55 on Wednesday, October 21, 2009
