The Family Reigns Supreme

Well tonight’s episode, we deal with the fallout from Victory Road. Mafia made a clean sweep, Tazz has been revealed, and the the MEM seems pretty dominant. But since they have everything, the only place to go is down. I’m worried that this might be the end of the Mafia angle, no pun intended. And Lashley has signed with TNA.

So we start off with Tazz, who gives us a history lesson about ECW, and the multitude of critical injuries that he sustained, cutting his ring time short. And once he started calling matches for the WWE *nice little heat here*, it was fun, but he felt like more could be done. He clicked on TNA, and while watching, saw the untapped power of Joe, and saw him as the second coming of Tazz. But Joe showed remorse, where Tazz showed none. So he took Joe to the next level, and everyone took notice. The goal is to be on top, not the most popular. They both got recruited by Angle, which he is grateful for. And to help, tonight Tazz says that Joe will become the X-Division Champion.

0__0 Now hang on a second. I don’t think Joe should be allowed to compete in the X-Division anymore. First off, he weighs as much as any two X-Division superstars. And he really clashes with all the high flying that makes up the X. Please don’t win Joe.

Match 1: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide (X-Division Title)

This one starts off pretty quickly, with some counters and arm drags from each. They each dodge the others shots, and Homicide rolls outside for a time out. Joe attempts a suicide dive, but misses.

0__0 As he lands, I found out that a 2.3 went off on the Richter scale.

Homicide hits his suicide dive. Back in the ring, Joe blocks a monkey toss attempt in the corner, then catches a running Homicide with a rock bottom. He lands some kicks and knees, and locks in an abdominal stretch. Homicide breaks free and pulls out a springboard elbow and a second rope tornado DDT. Joe hit’s a Tazz belly to belly and does Tazz’s taunt. He accidentally punches the ref while hitting Homicide. He ends up locking him in a choke, and the ref calls for the bell. Fortunately, it’s to DQ Joe. The X-Division is saved!!!

Winner: Homicide (retains by DQ)

Match Rating: 6/10

Joe starts attacking, until big Hernandez makes his TNA return!!! They have a stare down, until Tazz backs Joe out of the ring.

JB is with Mick, who tells him that Kurt’s been talking with the TNA officials and management, and he’s the golden boy now.

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The Mafia comes out, so get ready for the Angle speech. He noticed that everyone was jittery tonight, but no ones getting fired. Kurt says that he’s actually a very compassionate guy.

0__0 Okay then

But he wants to give the fans the best show possible.

0__0

So he asked management what would happen if the Mafia left? TNA would become the Titanic he informs. They need the Mafia.

0__0 Well he’s right.

But Kurt says that Scotty, Booker, and Nash will all put their titles up tonight. Kurt turns his attention to Mick, saying basically that he’s washed up.

Mick comes out. He admits that Kurt made him tap. But after kicking his ass on Sunday for a good 10 minutes, Foley thinks he’s still a wrestler. He says that the whole TNA can’t go without the Mafia thing is a joke. Kurt comes back saying that Mick did the same thing. He wont fire Mick, but he still wants one thing from him. Kurt pulls out the keys to Mick’s office, and tells him that he has to fight for it. In a keys on a pole match against him.

0__0 Well, at least TNA tries to keep things fresh match wise.

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Lauren is with the Foreign Faction. The Brits say they made a deal with Kurt. They get a rematch with 3D for the titles next week, if they take out the Originals tonight.

Match 2: Kevin Nash vs. Amazing Red (Legends Title)

0__0 You’ve got to be shitting me. I wonder who’s gonna win?

Well, um, Nash gives Red a free shot, and that’s the end of his offense. After some knees, some posing, a big toss, some more posing, and a Jackknife power bomb, its over.

Winner: Kevin Nash (retains)

Match Rating: This was a match?

Lauren is with Hernandez. She says that the landscape of TNA really changed since he’s been gone. He agrees, but says that he has Jeff and Mick’s back. He and Homicide start talking in Spanish.

0__0 I haven’t taken Spanish in over a year. So no idea what happened.

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JB is with Mick, saying that he doesn’t have to do this. Foley basically loses his mind, saying that no matter what, the Tweet and Tweak picture goes with him, and that every dispute should be settled this way. Obama vs. McCain: Presidency on a Pole match.

0__0 Do they have to go up and grab an eagle or something?

Security comes in, and say that they’ll always have Mick’s back.

Scott and Booker, watching TV, say that they found their opponents.

0__0 Oh god, please no.

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Lauren is with a returning Tracey “Law” Brooks, who’s going to be the enforcer in the Knockout Battle Royal tonight, for $50,000, and to be the MEM’s “chosen one”

Match 3: Booker T & Scott Steiner vs. Security (Tag Team Titles)

0__0 Oy *smacks head*

Booker and Sallyboy start off.

0__0 *after a minute* I say again, this is a match?

Scott hit’s a belly to belly, Booker chops, Steiner does pushups. He charges at Sally in the corner, but he actually gets his leg up! Then he rolls over and gets Rocko in, who comes in and charges Booker on the apron, then splashes Scott in the corner.

0__0 What just happened?

Rocko even lands a slam on SS. He goes up to the top rope.

0__0 Oh okay. Now Booker knocks him off.
Rocko jumps and hit’s the splash!
0__0 Holy shit!

Sharmell pulls the ref before he counts to 3. Booker comes in and hit’s the Book End, and Steiner hits his face buster.

Winners: Booker & Steiner (retain)

Match Rating: I give this 7/10 just because Rocko made it entertaining.

EY and JB go to see Mick, who is climbing an invisible pole in his mind, and is PO’ed when Eric thinks what he has to say is more important. In a nutshell, he says sorry for being a douche. Mick tells him that he’s the 5thman for the Originals tonight.

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Match 4: Knockout Battle Royal

Well, Daffney gets eliminated early. Kong gorilla presses Rayne out of the ring. ODB gets thrown out, but Deaner catches her and puts her back in. Slick Johnson comes over and ejects over, and they start flipping out on each other.

0__0 Hilarious

Wilde flips Sojo out, but she holds on, until Wilde kicks her in the head. The same thing happens to Velvet. Nash comes out and sits at the announce table.

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Wilde, Flash, and Love are out. Sarita, Tara, ODB, and Kong are left. The three fail to eliminate Kong. ODB gets tossed by Kong, and Tara was about to hit a crazy Widow’s Peak to eliminate Sarita, but Kong breaks that up and eliminates her herself. Tara and Kong both end up dangling on the edge, but Brooks comes over and flips them both!

Winner: Tracey

Match Rating: 5/10

Tara and Slick are in the ring, and she’s still pissed over getting screwed because Slick got screwed.

0__0 By the way, Slick Johnson. Perfect name for this angle. Creative genius.

She punches and low blows him.

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Lauren is with the Beautiful People.

0__0 Hang on IQ, they won’t be on that long.

They start bitching about life, and start talking about ODB, until Deaner shows up. They flirt with him until Sky knees him in the crotch. ODB comes in and scares them off, and proves that PG-13 is awesome, laying out a great line. “I hate those whores”.

0__0 AAAAHAHAHAHAHA. Let’s see WWE call someone a whore on air.

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Match 5: Foreign Faction vs. TNA Originals (Daniels, AJ, Beer Money, and EY)

EY and Basher start with lockups. EY brings him back to his corner, and Storm tags in, punches and clotheslines him, then tags in Roode, and they hit a double suplex. Kiyoshi tries to interfere, but they throw him into Basher. AJ comes in, hitting punches and a knee drop, the tagging in Daniels, and they hit a back drop and clothesline double team, and Daniels hit’s a split legged moonsault.

0__0 That all happened in like a minute.

Rob Terry shuts Daniels momentum down from outside. Kiyoshi comes in and chokes Daniels and a clothesline. The hulk gets tagged in, who just tosses Daniels around. He attempts a cross body, but literally bounces off. Williams and Magnus come in and hit a pretty gay looking double team, but are redeemed after Williams hit’s a knee to the head in the corner, Magnus kicks Daniels in the head, and then Williams hit’s a knee off of the turnbuckle. AJ breaks up a pin attempt, and Daniels hits an émigré.

Magnus and AJ get tagged in, but AJ cleans house on the FF, then a springboard forearm to Magnus. It turns into a brawl, with AJ, EY, and Magnus left. He goes for the Styles Clash, but EY pulls him off and hits AJ with a piledriver!
0__0 Douche.

Winners: Foreign Faction. (Damn you Canada)

Mick gets pissed and throws stuff.

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JB is with the FF, but Mick comes and starts attacking, until security pulls them apart.

Match 6: Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley (Keys on a pole match)
Mostly its just punching for a few minutes, with them trading the advantage. Mick hit’s a running knee to Kurt’s head in the turnbuckle though, and goes for the keys, but Angle stops him. More punching, and Mick throws Angle outside, and goes again, but Kurt stops him. Kurt goes for the keys now, but Mick stops him and superplexes him.

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They’re back up, and Mick hit’s a double arm DDT, then brings out Mr. Socko. He locks in the mandible claw, and Kurt is out. Mick goes for the keys, but the MEM come out, which proceeds in a whack.

Winner: No Contest

Match Rating: It was kind of a match. 4/10

Kurt introduces Mick’s doom…BOBBY LASHLEY!!! He comes out and hugs Kurt. He gets set to hit Mick, and turns around and blasts Kurt, and proceeds to do the same to the rest of the Mafia.

0__0 Nice.

Show Rating: 6/10. Big returns and good plot points saved this show