The Play with Plague: TNA Report for 08/06/09

Recap: Eric Young forms the World Elite (formerly the Foreign Faction), AJ goes up 1-0 against Matt M-m-m-organ. Bobby and Foley are teaming up to fight the Mafia, Mick Foley is the Legends champion, and…(drum roll)…STING IS BACK!!! WOO!!! Ya Sting is probably the greatest ever. Still good in the ring, number one on the mike bar none, and the fans love him unquestioningly. One of the funniest moment in recent TNA booking had to be the “heel” turn of Sting. It worked perfectly, except um, the fans were still cheering for him haha.

So earlier today, Eric Young showed up in a limo with Kurt Angle. Hmm, the Powers Unite…two faction leaders showing up together…what’s going to happen tonight?!? That’s my one biggest complaint I have about TNA, they treat the fans like idiots. Seriously everything is spelled out so clearly. Stop it TNA. You aren’t PG, most of everyone watching is over 11. We can guess a little Dixie.

I’m going to interrupt right now, and give a little advice. Go and watch this episode. It all goes up after the second match, and watching it would be better than reading it. Trust me :D

The Mafia head out, and Mike Tenay proves my point. “And you have to think, after last week, Kurt is going to address the issue of the title match last week, as well as his arrival with Eric Young”. Are you kidding me? Come on, what the hell? You showed us a recap video of last week not even two minutes ago. Do you think we forgot already?

Kurt basically says that they got screwed because Sting was in the crowd and turned the lights off twice. Okay, that’s a legitimate complaint. The other is because Lashley was in the ring, not in his corner. Annnd, do you sir, realize that neither was Nash? Or, more importantly, that Nash wasn’t the legal man!!! Sooo how did he get pinned? I ask again, what the hell TNA.

And management agreed that the match was a sham, but both parties agreed to let it slide if Nash gets a rematch at Hard Justice. So issue #1 resolved. On to #2, Kurt has struck a deal to protect his family. I’ll give you three guesses what, but if you need more than one…I don’t even know. World Elite comes out, with EY with a shaved head. Ya there’s like 15 people in the ring. It’s not a faction anymore; it’s an army. Guess what? They need an army to fight :D

Eric Young says that they’ll be the best team ever. There’s a ring full of you, you’d better be. His men are 100% dedicated to the cause, and they’ll do whatever it takes. It didn’t have to be this way though…blah blah blah…America sucks…blah blah blah…it‘s your fault…boo hoo. Let the cleansing begin. Everyone shakes hands. Yay brotherly love. But, isn’t everyone in the Mafia American? Huh?

JB is with Mick Foley. He says he didn’t think that’d ever, and Mick says anything can and will happen, and eventually everyone’s ego takes over and they think they’re bigger than the business. He says that he’s going to war. Lashley and Sting come in, and Sting says that its showtime.

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Lauren is with Daniels, and says that EY has drawn the line in the sand, and has a match with Daniels. He’s pissed because Eric threw away everything they’ve been fighting for for seven years. He tells him to be a man for once in his life. Lauren says that Basher and Kiyoshi are with him. The Guns interrupt. WOO!!! Big night of returns, the greatest tag team in the world is back!!!

They’re joking about their lack of airtime, but Daniels snaps. He tells them that they need to do something to get noticed, and that they need to get noticed, and they need to come out with him and fight this fight. Well the army’s being drafted up. Should be interesting.

Match 1: Daniels vs. Eric Young

Eric takes a quick jump off of the bell and gets some cheap shots. Daniels retakes the advantage with some chops. He throws Eric and hit’s a lifting kick and a running forearm in the corner. Kiyoshi pulls EY out of the ring, but Daniels hit’s a suicide dive. He fights off Basher, but eventually takes a big shot. The Guns, are…reading a gamer magazine. Okay, can’t fault them, cause I’m a big Xbox 360 man myself.

Eric hit’s a running elbow on him. 2 count. EY works him over for a while, on the mat and in the corner getting a couple more 2 counts. Daniels fights back, punching, but is stopped with a spinning neck breaker, and rolls into a crossface. That was pretty nice looking. Young misses a moonsault, and is flying around, just spanking Eric. He powers him off of the top turnbuckle, and gets 2. Twisting power bomb, decent looking. He goes for a BME, but Eric rolls. He goes for the Angel’s Wing, but Kiyoshi comes in and mists Daniels, and Eric hit’s the piledriver.

Winner: Eric Young

Match Rating: 8/10. These two put on a pretty good showing.

After, Kiyoshi and Basher attacked the Guns on the outside.

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Lauren is with Beer Money and Team 3D. Roode doesn’t want to talk about the differences between 3D and them. Roode says that he knows EY better than anyone. They grew up in Canada with the same dream, and toured together before TNA. He says that Eric forgets the day he begged JJ for a job, and he gave them the opportunity. And Roode isn’t going to stand for Eric screwing everything up.

Brother Ray says that they can understand why Beer Money is mad, but no one has more right than them, because they cost 3D the titles. Ray is just losing his mind. Well the armies are basically set, and the line is drawn.

Match 2: Rob Terry and Doug Williams & Booker T and Scott Steiner vs. Beer Money & Team 3-D (8 man tag team)

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Ray and Steiner start off, with Scott stomping early on with an advantage. Scoop slam for Scott, but Bubba hit’s a side slam, then a running splash. Devon in, and they hit a double shoulder charge. Williams is in, and takes the advantage, but Devon comes back with a spinning shoulder block. Storm is in, but Doug gets the better of him for a while, but Storm hit’s a inverted rock bottom. 2 count, and Roode is in, with a double suplex. Rob Terry hits Money with a double clothesline. Scoop slam to Roode, and a big clothesline. Roode hits some quick kicks and punches, but everyone rushes in for a brawl. Bubba and Williams are left, and Devon comes in for a Whassup! Wait for it…GET THE TABLES!!!

But the rest of Elite come out, but now Daniels and the Guns are out!!! BRAWL!!! Nash is out, Mick is out, Kurt is out, Lahsley’s out, Joe is out, Sting is out!!! Steps, guard rails, ring posts, walls, RIOT!!! And somehow the match is still going on. Terry hit’s a choke slam for the win. But who cares?

Winner: British Invasion and Main Event Mafia

Match Rating: 6/10

Most importantly, the fight is still going.

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It’s still going!!! There are two ways to describe what’s happening. Anarchy, or youtube and decide for yourself. They’re going outside, and in the ring. Security cameras, Sting is setting up a table, Nash is laid out, throws Angle into the table, who throws Sting into it. Devon, and Scotty, but Bubba gets a trash can lid! Fighting on cars, with garbage canes, double Guns kick in the ring, and Daniels hit’s a BME. Locker room- Lashley and Joe are trying to get at each other. Outside, chairs, clothes rack, tables, garbage cans. Bubba is choking someone with a table!!! Williams and Ray sword fighting with chairs, but Ray wins. Garbage can to Scott from Sting, and the police show up. And the riots over.

Brawl Rating: Haha. Just awesome. Youtube it. Most awesome thing in a loooong while. I do hate the people from Universal Studios though. They were out there watching this live lol.

Match 3: Alissa Flash & Traci Brooks vs. Sarita & Taylor Wilde

Taylor and Brooks start off. Wilde hit’s a nice snapmare and arm drag. Kick to the stomach, then a botched arm drag. Flash is in, and Sarita is in. Flash takes advantage, then Sarita hit’s a stepping hurricurana, and a flipping armbar, and a diving cross body to both Brooks and Flash. Wow. Sarita’s is freaking awesome. Taylor and Flash are back in the ring, and a spinning scoop slam from Flash. Brooks in, and she’s working Wilde over pretty bad. 2 counts, and Brooks cheap shots Sarita. Flash is back in, and just beating on Wilde. Brooks in, but Wilde is fighting back, and the two hit diving cross bodies on each other. Tags, Flash and Sarita in, and Sarita comes in hot and flying high. Its ridiculous. Sarita flips around and pulls off a crazy looking small package.

Winner: Sarita & Taylor Wilde

Match Rating: 8/10. Wow. Its been a while since I actually cared about a knockouts match. But Flash and Sarita, man, they’ve got it.

After, Flash and Brooks jump the pair.

Cross the Line promo

Lauren is with the Beautiful People. Next week, there’s a fatal four way match. Boring. Thank god they’re hot. Eh, actually, they (hopefully) are actually smart. Wish they’d be booked not like 15 year olds so I could tolerate them.

Hernandez just shows up.

AJ is with Lauren. It’s just basically summing up the normal.

Hernandez promo.

Mike Tenay had interviewed Hernandez. He talks about his injury and his recovery, and his past. His father was in the army for 30 years, in Vietnam. Mike brings up the incident with Konnan when he tried to burn the American flag. His father didn’t talk to Hernandez for a while. And it’s still strained. Homicide, he’s had some problems in the past. Right now, they’re at different roads.

Lauren is with Homicide. She asks him about the interview, but he focuses on his belt. He’s talking about Joe and his Nation on Violence. Not a good promo, but he has a match with Joe at Hard Justice.

Match 4: Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles (1-0 AJ)

AJ tries to go for the legs, but Matt keeps shaking him off. AJ goes outside and trips him up, gets back in and kicks the legs. Now AJ is working on Matt’s leg, but gets pushed off, and Morgan hit’s an impressive clotheslines. I love those high impact clotheslines. Pad less elbows in the corner, the a splash. AJ tries to mount some offense, but Matt nails a long fall away slam, and keeps working him. Matt hits an Undertaker style apron leg drop. He goes for a choke slam, but AJ counters into an enziguri. Hit’s the Pele, but only a 2 count. Misses the 450 splash, and Matt hit’s the Hellevator.

Winner: Match Rating

Match Rating: 5/10

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JB is following Kurt. The MEM is leaving the arena. Abyss is hiding. He can’t trust anyone but Lauren because of the bounty. Abyss asks JB whether he would try to collect the bounty. He says no, and is holding a hammer behind his back. AAAAHAHHA!!!

Creed comes up and flips on Abyss for attacking him and Jay a couple weeks ago, when Lethal attacks him from behind, and they try to collect. But Abyss fights them off.

Cross the Line promo.

The Main Event is next…

The Maaaaain Event

Match 5: Brutus Magnus vs. Sting

Slick Johnson immediately ejects the British Invasion. Nice haha. Sting “Woo’s” the crowd gets really loud. Sting is unloading of Brutus in the corner, hip toss, a standing dropkick, then a clothesline, and Magnus takes a timeout outside. Sting chases him back into the ring, Magnus rallies for a bit and chops the leg. He is working on the leg as we go to commercial.

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We come back to Magnus still working the leg, but Sting hits an émigré! He’s getting up tonight for an old dude. Brutus punches him, but Sting just beats his chest, and answers with a bunch of haymakers. He goes for the Stinger Splash, but Magnus gets the boot up. He goes top rope, and tries a dropkick, but Sting backs up, catches him, and locks in the Scorpion Deathlock.

Winner: Sting

Match Rating: 6/10. Too short, but decent.

Magnus tries to attack Sting after, but Sting gets the offense. World Elite is out, but Sting gets them all one by one, but the numbers game catches up, and they’re beating down Sting. Until…here comes Lashley and Foley!!! Clearing house, until…the Mafia’s back!!! Here we go, no the three are just getting beat on. Stomping and punching, choking. There’s no one left.

Super Mex!!! He’s out with a massive steel chain, and clears the ring.

IT’S A WAR!!!

Show Rating: 10/10. Go and watch this episode. Exciting.

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