The Play with Plague: TNA Report for 5/07/09

Welcome back everyone, to another TNA report. I’m going to start this off with addressing a comment that was made last week, other than you guys telling me I did a good job. Thanks by the way!

I watch other wrestling first off, and TNA is my favorite. However, that won’t ever stop me from bashing people and stories that I don’t like or telling exactly what I think of the current show. If they put on a bad show, believe me, I’m going to be the one to tell you, and if they run too many promos, I’m get mad at them. That doesn’t mean I hate them. What good does it do you readers if I give a totally biased opinion of the show?
Now then, on with the show.

Preview:
Beer Money vs. Jethro Holiday & Eric Young (3-D Invitational)
Suicide vs. Consequences Creed (Non-Title Match)
Awesome Kong vs. Velvet Sky (Stretcher Match)
Main Event Mafia vs. The Frontline (10 Man War)

The show starts of in a very shocking manner, with the MEM. Kurt starts off continuing the rose metaphor from last week, and that last week he kicked Mick’s ass. What? Hmm, I remember it differently. He informs Foley that he is in the main event at Sacrifice, and then talks about the 10 Man War. Then he calls out Foley, and he tells Kurt that the match is about a show of power for the Frontline. Mick thought he was untouchable until last week, and yes, he’s still talking about his stitches. Kurt brings up that he won a Gold Medal with a broken neck. And like him or not, Kurt is a great wrestler, and it took some major balls to do that back in ‘96. Then Mick tells Kurt that he will be the Godfather after Sacrifice, and JJ and AJ come out. Foley tells Jarrett that it was never personal, only business. JJ responds as expected, and tells Foley to kiss his ass. Kurt then asks, “Can’t we all just get along?” Wow. Some great lines here. Kurt just won the John Madden award for the week.

Backstage, Samoa “Taz 2.0” Joe gets dropped off by someone. Wonder who?

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MMG & Danials promo.

Match 1: Suicide vs. Consequences Creed (Non-Title)
Ok we start of with some quick holds and counters. Suicide gains the advantage, backs him into the corner and lays some head butts and clotheslines, and then an STO takedown. And throughout the match we are forced to listen to Don West accusing Suicide of being Danials. Creed takes advantage with a swinging neck breaker. Suicide and Creed battle with jabs, then Suicide dropkicks him, and then does his rolling samoan drop. Goes for the Suicide Solution and misses, and Creed hit’s a Trouble in Paradise. Suicide takes him to corner and does a mix between Jeff Hardy’s turnbuckle dropkick and a Codebreaker. Looked sweet.

Winner: Suicide

Good fast paced match. Two weeks in a row TNA starts with a great X-Division Match.

Match Rating: 7/10

Foley Promo

The Stuttering Steroid Machine is back with Foley. What came out of this is Morgan wants to prove himself to the Mafia. Mick gives him a match against MEM Security.

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We come back to Lauren and 2/3’s of the Beautiful People. Loading gun…muzzle in mouth…please don’t say something stupid. Velvet is freaking out, and Love tells her to calm down. She beat Kong, so you can too. Then Velvet said what I was thinking. Um, no you didn’t. You beat Taylor Wilde. Love says…(grr)…Wilde, Kong. Same thing. My gun just jammed. Luckily I don’t have to take a second shot, the promos over.

MEM and Tenay promo. Kurt said love way too much.

Lauren is with Wilde now, and they start talking about Wilde’s secret admirer. She has a date on Tuesday and Lauren agrees to go with her. Why this was necessary, I can’t tell you.

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JB is with Jarrett in a locker room, and asks him what he’s going to do about Mick Foley. JJ asks him to leave. That was underlined because he is the OWNER of TNA. He is in a locker room? Then JB asks Jeff what happened to his office? Jeff flips and JB runs.

Match 2: MEM Security vs. Matt Morgan
Not much really happened. We just saw Morgan be dominant. We saw him choke slam big Rocko. I think Mike Tenay confused him with Kevin Nash, because they were talking about him missing time with a staph infection in his elbow. Big dropkick to Rocko and a Carbon Footprint to Sallyboy.

Winner: Matt Morgan

Match Rating: 5/10. Just for the sheer power in this match.

JB is with Mick Foley. Mick says he may need to tweak his match, and wants JB to get the word out. JB says he can twitter his tweet. Wow such a kissass. Foley goes crazy and sounds like Cactus Jack a lot. He says that Jeff’s guitar causes too many problems and he’s banning it from ringside. I’m hoping he doesn’t have a split personality angle going.

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Lauren is with EY and Holliday. Nothing important. Just whining.

3-D comes out to call the Invitational match with Tenay and West. They call Beer Money the tag team of the future.

Match 3: Beer Money vs. Eric Young and Trevor Murdoch
Starts off with Roode and Young. Some holds and counters, then Roode throws EY to his corner, and Storm kicks him into the back of the head, and then Roode spine busters him. Nicely done. Tenay mentions that JR recently said that there are no really hot tag teams. Maybe in WWE, but in TNA, tag team is going strong. One more reason I love TNA. Anywho, back in the ring, Beer Money suplex to EY. Roode throws Eric into the corner, who flips over and lands on the apron, shoulder to Roode and flip over. Eric tags in Holliday, Roode tags Storm, and Holliday starts cleaning house. Roode gets him from behind, and throws him into the ropes, blind tag by Young, and a springboard double dropkick to Beer Money. He hit’s a big leg drop on Storm. Murdoch almost hits Eric, and while distracted, Storm gets up, EY turns, and…Last Call!!! Then Roode comes in and does a sick double team finisher called the D.W.I. I missed what it stood more. Can someone tell me? Anyway…

Winners: Beer Money

Really good tag match

Match Rating: 8/10

Lauren is back with Kong and Saeed. Saeed talks about the Wrath of Kong. Pause. How much is Star Trek paying TNA!?! Seriously, this is ridiculous. Not only the commercials and the plugs, now we have to go this far!!! I’ll explain, for those who don’t understand. One of the Star Trek movies was, “The Wrath of Khan”. Now…with Kong…ya anyway. Kong spoke for the first time. She said, dumb blonde. Dead blonde!!! Good mike skills.

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Match 4: Velvet Sky vs. Awesome Kong

Hebner once again clears the arena. Velvet actually gets a few shots in, but then Kong takes over. Implant Buster. And another. The fans chant “One more time”, and Kong obliges again. Okay I think that’s enough. A fourth one. Come on now those look good! No no no…a fifth Implant Buster. Onto the stretcher. Thank you, no she pulls her up again. Please no, don’t break them…Awesome Bomb. Oh well. Ten count.

Winner: Awesome Kong

Match Rating: 4/10

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Dr. Stevie session. Daffney is going to be in the first female Monster Ball. Abyss has to help her. Whatever.

Lethal Consequences come out, and call out Danials. Same thing as last week, they accuse him of being Suicide. C.D. tells Creed he should worry more about beating Suicide than figuring out who he is. Oooooh. Now the MMG comes out and say next week they’ll unmask Suicide.

JB is with Jarrett again. He has some notes about all the things Foley is doing. Jeff asks what can he do? Sting comes in, and wants in the main event at Sacrifice if he pins Foley tonight. They shake on it.

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Lauren is with Love, and she’s calling someone to be at the Impact Zone next week.

MEM Promo.

Match 5: MEM vs. Frontline (10 Man War)
Foley comes to the ring with a Barbed-Wire Baseball Bat. No problems there.

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Steiner and Joe are in the ring. Suplex to Scott, then Joe tags in Danials. Diving cross body to Scott. But he takes control, and tags in Kurt. Both do some holds and takedowns. Danials kicks Kurt and tags in AJ, who does some inverted Codebreaker. Kurt rakes the eyes and tags Booker. Suplex, flying knee, then Booker lays AJ out with a spinning kick.

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Angle and AJ are now in. No now Booker’s back, with a jump kick to AJ. Steiner now comes in with some Spinning Bearhug Slam. Tag to Angle. Going for the Angle Slam, miss, PELE! Sting and Foley get tagged in, and Foley gets the advantage. Everyone starts coming in, the MEM gets thrown out by the Frontline, then cross bodies or suicide dives. Kurt, Jeff, Foley, and Sting are left. Jeff low blows Angle, and picks up Mick’s bat. Foley takes it off of him and tries to swing it at Jeff, who ducks, and low blows Mick. Jeff does the Stroke, driving Foley’s face into the bat. Sting comes in for the cover.

Winners: Main Event Mafia

Match Rating: 10/10

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Sting has a mike and explains that he is in the match at Sacrifice. Then he says that if he gets pinned, he’ll retire.
Overall: Really good show. Not a lot of promos, and better matches. I love the Ultimate Sacrifice thing where everyone in the match is putting something up. That’s a really good concept. And a big bombshell to end the show. As good as I could have hoped for.

Show Rating: 9/10