TNA Report 26/8/10

I haven’t written an article in so, so long. I used to write articles under the name of Astatine but have decided now that it would be fun to start writing articles again but in a different format and so that’s why I’m reporting on TNA, without further Adieu let’s get started!

The show starts with Bischoff telling Dixie that she doesn’t need to go out there and that he should do it because that’s what he is for. Dixie straight out rejects him in the most patronising way possible.

Dixie makes her way to ring, calls out Ric Flair and then tells him that he is suspended for 90 days without pay. The old timer retaliates to this by calling out his posse who come out to the ring and mostly just stand around for a while. Hogan interrupts the party with his posse and tells Ric that he is overruling Dixie’s power and that Flair is not suspended. They talk some more and then Hogan makes the match that will pit 4 of Flair’s guys against Pope, Anderson, Hardy and Angle. Flair gets angry and then him and Fortune leave the ring but are met halfway up the ramp by Mick Foley and EV2.0 and the two stables brawl

COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Angle cuts a short promo backstage saying that his guys are going to kick Fortune’s asses tonight.

The match starts with Joe totally owning Jordan until Joe is forced to break a headlock where upon Jordan starts taking control. Orlando mounts Joe in the corner, hit’s a few punches then decides to lick his Samoa Joe action figure (?), Inverted atomic drop, few clotheslines, T bone suplex, Muscle buster and Joe is the winner.

Jarrett comes out to the ring and asks Joe if he would be so kind as to accompany him to the ring when he faces Nash just in case Sting “shows his ugly”. Joe says no then leaves.

Nash pulls Jarrett outside and then beats him down for a little bit until the ref gets a six count at which point Nash rolls into the ring and straight back out to reset the counter and carry on the beating. Nash pulls out a chair which gets taken away from him so then he exposes a turnbuckle unbeknownst to the ref. A slam is reversed and Jarrett takes control. Jarrett hits a flying elbow and goes for a second but is caught in a choke slam, Jarrett tries to reverse but gets pushed into the exposed turnbuckle, bounces back and gets nailed with a choke slam. Nash goes for a pin but Jarrett kicks out on a 2 count. . The ref is knocked down and like the heel that he is Nash tries to cheat but that is reversed by Jarrett who hits the stroke but the ref but the ref cannot count. Sting capitalises on this by turning up with his bat and downs Jarrett with a few stiff hits. Nash manages to roll over and drape an arm over Jarrett to get the win. Sting stands over Jarrett looking triumphant.

Bischoff comes out onto the ramp and starts to shout abuse at Sting who is still surrounded by the downed Nash and Jarrett. Sting replies by saying that he wants Hogan. Bischoff insults Sting’s masculinity as Hogan creeps up behind the bat wielding crazy and nails him with a steel chair. Hogan picks up the bat that Sting dropped and that’s pretty much it.

Hogan is seen talking to Dreamer back stage and asks him to take out Abyss which Tommy agrees to do.

Beer Money explode into the ring and basically destroy the two guys that are waiting for them with some nice tag team moves. Storm dominates Guido for a while until he tags into Roode who carries on the beat down. Guido tries to mount a come back but gets caught in a nasty looking full nelson slam. Guido attempts a small package but is unsuccessful, He manages to kick away Roode and scuttle his way to tag in his partner who jumps from the top rope straight into the arms of Robert Roode who hit’s a spine buster, Roode picks up that kid, tags in Storm then they hit their tag finisher (I think it’s called DUI, Can someone let me know?) and Beer Money are the winners. Storm rolls outside the ring to get a beer as Roode carries on the attack. Roode picks up one member of the FBI (I don’t know his name L ) and asks Storm to “kick his head off”, Storm obliges and then they proceed to give Guido that DUI move after he is cut open by James Storm.

Tommy Dreamer is talking to some members of EV2 and asks them who wants to step up to take out Abyss. Stevie Richards said he’ll do it and then begins to have some kind of breathing difficulty as we move to the ring and the company of The Beautiful People.

I don’t know why but Taz is shouting something about pigeons as TBP make their way to the ring, Is there some kind of reference I don’t get or has he finally lost his mind? Answers on a postcard … or a comment.

Angelina Love is out in the ring talking about how she’s made mistakes but everyone learns from their mistakes. She also says that she values the friendship she has with Velvet Sky. She also says that they should both forgive and forget. Velvet seems to agree and says that they can just forget what has happened and go back to dominating the knockout’s divison. The two girls hug but are then interrupted by Madison Rayne and some chick wearing a balaclava who ride in on a motorbike. Rayne says that she’s going to sue the beautiful people for copyright infringement. There is some more screaming and evil looks until Velvet jumps onto Rayne and starts attacking her. There is a small brawl but it is broken up depressingly fast by TNA security, this doesn’t last for long though as the girls break free from their security oppressors and begin to fight again.

The guns come on talking about how champions get extra perks … like free copies of the new rock band game (Why is Shelley on drums when he’s a singer?). They say they’re going to relax a bit before their match by playing on their video game even though their match is next. At this point I’m flipping out because Green Day starts to play on their TV until I realise that Sabin is playing guitar on easy difficulty and Shelley isn’t even playing (Where’s the continuity?)

Magnus and Wolfe are at some mall talking about how they need to get some new clothes for when they become champions at No Surrender. Why has Magnus got some sunglasses hanging from his tee shirt while wearing a different pay of sunglasses? I know he’s british but that’s a bit overkill. Magnus asks Wolfe if “he saw the bristols on that bird” which as a fellow Englishman I have never heard used as an expression. The guys separate from Chelsea as she walks away with a no limits credit card and an evil expression.

(I’ve never seen Generation Me fight before so this should be interesting)

The match starts with Sabin and Jeremy, Surprisingly it seems like Jeremy has the upper hand for a while. The guns soon takes control and start to do what I love to see them do and that’s pull out some awesome tag team combos. That is until Max manages to flip his way over to his brother and get the tag, Jeremy manages to hit a pretty sick looking face plant finisher kind of thing for the near fall on Sabin. There is another near fall on Sabin after some an exchange of some moves. The guns manage to take control by reversing a moonsault combo and Shelley hits his standing Sliced Bread which leads to a frog splash/ neck breaker and the win for the reigning champions. Fair play to GenMe though. After the match all four men shake hands and then celebrate together.

Flair is just shouting some stuff at the camera which I don’t pay much attention to because I’m looking at the massive veins on his forehead, it looks like one of them is going to explode soon! Sting turns up closely followed by Nash and begins to choke Flair from behind with his bat. Sting tells Flair that once he’s finished with “the big problem” he is coming for Flair and Fortune. Flair gets released then falls to the floor and starts spluttering.

We go backstage where Richards is attacking Abyss but that doesn’t last for long as soon Richards is thrown into some bins by the monster. Abyss pulls out that nail board of his and goes to hit Stevie but Richards dodges it and carries on his offensive. The two continue to brawl for a while until Richards gets his head planted into a van at which point we cut to Rhino in the ring.

Rhino calls out Abyss and they fight for a while which ultimately ends in Rhino giving Abyss a gore on the platform near the Spanish announce table.

Aj is screaming at the camera talking about how he made TNA what it is. He also threatens to tear down what’s built if he has to.

Personally I thought the match started off slow but picked up when Morgan got tagged in against Hardy! Aj gets tagged in and goes for a pin without even doing anything. Hardy gets dominated by the members of Fortune for a while, well for a long time actually. It is also revealed that next week on Impact it’ll be Hardy and Angle VS. Anderson and Pope, that should be good. Back to the match. Hardy tries to get a comeback but that is soon stopped, Hardy manages to hit a clothesline on Williams and both men get a tag at the same time so now it’s Angle and Kazarian in the ring and Angle pretty muchs own the entirety of Fortune with Suplexs and clotheslines and everything. Angle manages to lock in his ankle lock on Kazarian who is busy screaming in pain. The hold is broken by Aj who hits a flying forearm then everyone begins to take out everyone. After the chaos Angle hits an angle slam but Pope manages to tag himself. Angle is stopped when he goes for the pin but Pope is allowed and gets the 3 count on Kazarian for the win. Now Angle looks angry and he confronts Pope in the middle of the ring about what happened, there is a lot of poking and pushing involved. Anderson tries to stop the fight but all three are soon taken out by Morgan, Aj and Williams. Beer Money soon enter the ring and now Fortune has full control again. Just as Hardy is about to be put through a table by Styles Sabu and Dreamer run down to the ring to join the fight. It ends with Williams being put through the table by Sabu and that is where this week’s TNA finishes.

I hope you enjoyed my article! This was only a trial so if you don’t like it then I won’t write it again but if I get good reviews then I will continue to write! Thank you for reading!.

Comments

1. Comment #1

   nice article :P

   Posted by EOA on Saturday, August 28, 2010

2. Comment #2

   Good article. :)

   Posted by Trevor Goodnight on Saturday, August 28, 2010

3. Comment #3

   I am here to clear everything up.
   Beer Money's finisher is the DWI (Drinking While Investing).
   Let the pigeons loose is a reference to Angelina Love's and Velvet Sky's behinds.
   Also (not being an Englishman but having heard the phrase a lot from English people I know)a 'bird' is reference to a woman and 'bristols' most likely refer to what McMahon can no longer stare at on RAW.

   Posted by Nick Mann on Sunday, August 29, 2010

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