The Raw Rebound

RAW IS CURTIS

Nevermind the fact that this aired 6 days ago…Today was my first day in the Raw Office so thought I would get the previous Raw out there for all you great TWG folk. Please EnjoyJ

Pre-show run-through:

So here we are…the Big-time. The flagship. In all my time recapping Smackdown I’ve only ever cast an eye over Raw and nothing more. But now Im looking to make this brand my own and get up to speed on anything and everything about the Raw product. So, Cena is World Champion here….no surprises there. HBK still around? Wow what are they feeding him. Who are these young punks running round? Legacy my ass….wheres Orton? Oh he’s here…wait….he’s a rookie killer now? And we have Y2J….whats that….that part of his gimmick is dead now? Jeesh…and he used to be a lot of fun. Divas have changed slightly…but still eye candy nonetheless. Kane still the Big Red Machine? Where the hell did his mask go? Hey, his face aint all that bad….ATTENTION SEEKER! Bradshaw bought himself a white cowboy hat….nice. Theme Songs changed….good….I like it. Ok Ive got just one last question….where the hell is MIKE ADAMLE?

Lights, Camera, Action!

We open with a meaningless and boring session between HBK and JBL. Nothing important trust me and moving on to kick this thing off swiftly! Cue the Billion Dollar Princess Stephanie McMahon. Man I thought when I left the Smackdown ReBound behind I was finished with Chimps…it seems not from looking at Stephs frame (so what if its to do with the pregnancy, it still counts) She comes out and gives it all that before Chris Jericho interrupts her….saying she lied about not being able to wait for Vince Almighty’s return. He says Vince will right her wrongs and give him what he wants. Stephanie says it is HER show and he tells her to think that all she wants. She says he better win the Royal Rumble if he wants a title shot. He also demands a shot at the title and won’t compete in the ring until he gets one! Good way to go about it Chrissy. He then throws a temper tantrum all over the ring (Flashbacks to Christian pre DDP era!) He says the Real McMahon is coming back. Will the Real McMahon please stand up? She takes away his ability to compete all together by FIRING HIS ASS! Bit predictable, but whatever.

Match #1: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

And to kick off the action for tonight….we have a Miz match. Were you pissed off too. They tie up with Rey getting run down by a shoulder block. He comes back with a dropkick. Miz powers back with a corner crushing clothesline for two.

Irrelevent Miz Fact No.1: He cant live without his Cell Phone

Irrelevent Miz Fact No.2: He’s got over 30000 friends on MySpace.

Let me sum up the Miz in one word based on these facts: LOSER.

Meanwhile, Miz is getting a beatdown. Serves him right. Miz delivers a face buster, but Rey Rey comes back with a toe kick and a plancha for two. 619 bombs but Rey Rey rolls through and gets a sunset flip. Miz rolls over for the two. Rey Rey starts to come back and sets up a botched head scissors into an equally botched 619 into the splash for the win! And here we have Moses showing up….Knox himself and the big guy beats Rey Rey’s ass after the match. Rey Rey fights back with some dropkicks and a head scissors to send him running. RUN KNOX! RUN YOUR BIG ASS AWAY FROM THE LITTLE GUY!

Winner via Pinfall: Rey Mysterio

*Backstage interview with CM Punk. Hes straight edge you know? *Boring Alert*

Match #2: IC Title: CM Punk vs. W.Regal w/Layla

Punk and Regal. Remember that King of the Ring Final classic those two had? No…that’s right….it wasn’t a classic….it was a washout…just like this. This match is absolutely horrible. They do nothing but mess up moves…..constantly! A Botch fest to end all botch fests, not a single move was landed correctly and it only lasts a couple of minutes before Punk “accidentally” low blows Regal and gets disqualified. The good Samaritan gets DQ’d? Straight edge my ass!

Winner via DQ: William Regal

*Post-match we see Cody Rhodes in the back alongside Sim Snuka and Manu. They say they are coming for Orton and bringing another second generation star with them so they better decide whose side they are on. Get Goldust on the phone…….

*Willie Regal is limping through the back, probably limping because of all his botched moves out there OH! He says he’s satisfied with his title defence, but Stephanie comes by to tells him she is not and that his third match will be NO DQ.

* A video package of Stone Cold Steve Austin (Which is always pleasing). He’s the first inductee for this year’s Hall of Fame. Oh Hell Yeah! Or what about Oh HALL Yeah! No? Ah forget it….

* HBK is confronting JBL about John Cena. He says he can handle the match without him because he’s Mr.Wrestlemania. Has HBK ever even beaten Cena? Seriously? Not that Im parading that fact but…..has he? Really?

*Another Vince McMahon video airs….cometh the hour, cometh the Devil*

Match #3: Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane is beating Orton’s ass right from the first bell. He starts stomping into him, punching Orton around the ring before tossing him to the floor. Orton manages to gain control and we find Kane soon in an Orton Lock. Cody Rhodes is at ringside…Orton stomps Kane down, delivering his stalking stomps to various body parts. Kane starts to power back and delivers several clotheslines in the corner, following with a side slam for two.Orton gets caught for a choke slam but he escapes with a neck breaker. Orton tries to follow with the RKO, but Kane throws him out and goes up top. Kane leaps off into a decent dropkick from Orton. Orton cover for only two, but the ref counts three despite the shoulder coming up. Kane is pissed but hey, when isn’t he?


After the match Sim Snuka and Manu show up with….Ted DiBiase (Yep, hes back!) to come kick some ass. Orton stands in the ring surrounded on all sides. Orton wonders whose side Rhodes is on as they get ready to rumble….Wild Wild West Style…..Then in a “shocking turn of events” DiBiase helps Orton and Rhodes. Major swerve! Rhodes drills Sim Snuka while Manu gets a Cobra Clutch leg sweep!

Winner via (Dodgy) Pinfall: Randy Orton

*John Cena participates in you’re typical John Cena interview. Sometimes I actually miss the rapping wigger gimmick. Wait….what? *Vomits*

Match #4: Melina & Kelly Kelly vs. Glamazon & Jillian

Pre match, Melina is attacked by one of her perverts….sorry….photographers who is revealed to be “that fan” again. The heels then attack from behind with Jillian taking out Kelly and Beth slams Melina into the wall and they decide to not have the match at all. Well saves me the recap I guess. Glamazon rams a camera into her face….you do that Beth….

Winners: NO CONTEST

*Commercial for Behind Enemy Lines 3. Is it worth buying the trilogy folks? You tell me.

*We get a video about Vince’s Hollywood walk of fame star.

*The rundown of the Royal Rumble card accompanied by its awesome theme song, Let It Rock!

*Legacy is discussing the fact that there can only be one of them winning the rumble. Then the camera switches to a bunch of nobodies parked outside Stephanie’s door looking for a Royal Rumble slot. Santino (My Man!) manages to secure one while Cryme Tyme ask for somebody to slap Ziggler!!

The Maaaaaain Event!: Non Title: John Cena vs. HBK w/JBL

Classic showdown between these two at the start. Shawn starts off quick, but Cena powers over and levels him with a clothesline. Cena counters a hip toss with one of his own and tries for the STFU but Michaels kicks him off. Michaels leaps up and Cena ducks out of the way from Sweet Chin Music. Both men reset to neutral as Cena looks between HBK and JBL. Cena works Michaels back to the corner before being reversed into the corner. Shawn doesn’t make the clean break before coming in with hard chops. Cena turns the table and fires back with hard rights and a huge back body drop

Back in the ring, HBK pushes Cena to the corner but is countered and tossed up onto the opposite turnbuckle. Cena kicks him up into the air and catches him for an FU, but Shawn slips free. Cena counters with a shoulder block and goes up top for the guillotine leg drop. You know, the women’s finisher….But Michaels catches him into the Crossface. Michaels stands still in the crossface but falls back down before finally dragging himself to the ropes.

Cena takes over and is now delivering a side slam for a two count on Michaels. Cena finally gets the Fisherman’s Suplex this time and picks up a two count. Cena tries for the FU, but Michaels grabs the ropes. Cena switches up to a bear hug instead. Michaels manages to ram Cena into the turnbuckle to finally break it. Back to standing and Michaels delivers chops and punches. Cena fights back, but eats a flying clothesline. Michaels nips up delivers an atomic drop. He tries to deliver the scoop slam but Cena comes back with his shoulder block but Michaels counters, delivering the scoop slam and going up top……

Cena meets Michaels up top and scoops Michaels onto his shoulders. Michaels escapes and slams Cena into a power bomb pin. Shawn picks up two and climbs up top for the elbow. He predictably hits absolutely nothing! Big fight ensues now as both men try to fight for control. Michaels out with Sweet Chin Music but Cena ducks and scoops him into a fast high FU. Cena only picks up the two count though. Cena drags Michaels up and eats a super kick, but kicks out as well. Michaels drags Cena up and gets scooped up. Michaels rolls through into the pin but only gets two. Cena counters with a drop toe hold into the STFU right in front of JBL. JBL pushes the rope some and HBK manages to grab it. Tut Tut Tut…

JBL sucks chants rings through the arena….HBK drags himself up and goes for the FU but escapes and pushes him to the ropes. JBL leaps up but Cena stops himself before meeting JBL, turning into the Sweet Chin Music for the win.

OVERALL ANALYSIS

For my first recap of this show, I must say I thought it to be average at best. This is the flagship right? Big names all round but the shortage is in the action department. The Divas Tag Match as well as the opening match and IC title match were washouts. The Kane-Orton match was passable while the Main Event did at least spring some sort of excitement, but it’s the sort of excitement I was already accustomed to from watching the so called “B” Brand. The Legacy angle looks neat, and I pray that Jericho aint gone for too long. Next week things should heat up with the return of Vince Almighty, and it will be interesting to see what his motives are and how it plays out.

But as of now….I miss my EdgeL

Just a little home sickness….chin up soldierJ

Ladies and Gents, I’m Curtis Kash and thanks for Reading.

Overall Grade: D+

Comments

1. Comment #1

   I think there was a typo, Curtis does smackdown. not raw. :) nice read

   Posted by A concerned citizen on Sunday, January 18, 2009

2. Comment #2

   
   Check this out:
   
   "Irrelevent Miz Fact No.1: He cant live without his Cell Phone
   
   Irrelevent Miz Fact No.2: He’s got over 30000 friends on MySpace.
   
   Let me sum up the Miz in one word based on these facts: LOSER.
   
   *John Cena participates in you’re typical John Cena interview. Sometimes I actually miss the rapping wigger gimmick. Wait….what? *Vomits*
   
   *Commercial for Behind Enemy Lines 3. Is it worth buying the trilogy folks? You tell me."
   
   
   this is a recap article not an opinion article and what does this mean: "HBK drags himself up and goes for the FU but escapes and pushes him to the ropes." since when does HBK use The Throwback/FU
   
   100% fail
   
   WE WANT VINCE BACK!!!
   
   my grade for the show c+
   my grade for you D-

   Posted by The guy that got beat by Barry Horiwitz on Sunday, January 18, 2009

3. Comment #3

   ^^^ Is that a joke?
   
   T'was a good read, but if I was you I'd go back to doing Smackdown. Raw may be the flagship show, but SD's much better right now.

   Posted by Jewel on Sunday, January 18, 2009

4. Comment #4

   Oh, and I was referring to the first reply, not the second, when I asked if it was a joke. Tgtgbbbh ninja'd me.

   Posted by Jewel on Sunday, January 18, 2009

5. Comment #5

   A fine read. If all this was, was a recap, Why would people read it?
   
   Curtis is a fine writer. One of the best in fact. This had the facts, it had honesty and it has humour. A perfect mix from a great guy.
   
   Nice going Curtis.

   Posted by Neil Davies on Sunday, January 18, 2009

6. Comment #6

   Im the first comment, This read was not good at all...
   
   
   AND TELL ME HOW HBK DOES THE FU....
   
   and I dont want to read about someones opinion to a re-cap article. Read The Glides ECW article he has no opinion... but agree go back to SD!!!

   Posted by me again on Sunday, January 18, 2009

7. Comment #7

   Wow forgot I wasn't first but second... HAHAHA anyway

   Posted by me again on Sunday, January 18, 2009

8. Comment #8

   You know, I seem to enjoy most of our writers here. This is one of them. Kash, you know I got your back if you need it. Want me to rough up some rubes? ^_~

   Posted by Snapshot on Sunday, January 18, 2009

9. Comment #9

   The torch is passed.

   Posted by Vince on Sunday, January 18, 2009

10. Comment #10

    Raw suck Smackdown Rule

    Posted by Sumo Man on Sunday, January 18, 2009

11. Comment #11

    NOD is right, Curtis is probably one of the top writers here and for me he is the second best behind The Philly phighter even if i hate all philly sports teams

    Posted by Lionman on Sunday, January 18, 2009

12. Comment #12

    Good article Curtis, too bad you didn't have much of a show to work with.

    Posted by Dorsiun on Sunday, January 18, 2009

13. Comment #13

    Good Article Curtis, but D+???
    Did the security throw you out cos you were cheering Orton :D?
    
    I think Match between Cena and HBK was quite good... and cena showed that he has a few wrestling moves other than the 7 moves of Doom.
    
    Be critical not cranky..
    

    Posted by Sam Spear on Sunday, January 18, 2009

14. Comment #14

    Vince was better... you're very subjective about the wrestlers... VIVA VINCE!

    Posted by Jack Daniels on Sunday, January 18, 2009

15. Comment #15

    Vince, why did u left, i loved your're articles?

    Posted by Macaroni on Sunday, January 18, 2009

16. Comment #16

    Good article... but The Miz rules!!

    Posted by The Bad Guy on Sunday, January 18, 2009

17. Comment #17

    Your article is pathetic... We want Glide or Vince to report RAW!

    Posted by We Want THE VINCE! on Sunday, January 18, 2009

18. Comment #18

    i think the show was a B. it was really good!

    Posted by lightning jade on Sunday, January 18, 2009

19. Comment #19

    could you make the size of the print bigger next time had to squint to read some parts. decent artical but i liked it better when you did SD articals.

    Posted by Triple Q on Sunday, January 18, 2009

20. Comment #20

    Ugh.
    
    Grade: B-

    Posted by Edgehead on Sunday, January 18, 2009

21. Comment #21

    Just so you know HBK has beat Cena before last monday. He beat him in a wrestlemania non-title match.

    Posted by ''Ice Man' Matt Michaels on Sunday, January 18, 2009

22. Comment #22

    sorry forgot to say it was a non-title rematch from wrestlemania

    Posted by 'Ice Man' Matt Michaels on Sunday, January 18, 2009

23. Comment #23

    Miz is not a LOSER!!! I'd like to see you get 30,000 friends on myspace!
    *good article*

    Posted by R.U.Sty who never fought the Big Show on Monday, January 19, 2009

24. Comment #24

    cena and micheals work well against each other, it would be a good feud turn cenaor micheals heel and have the two fight for the title, in a hell in a cell :)

    Posted by crazydude on Monday, January 19, 2009

25. Comment #25

    crazydude, that would be a waste of a Hell in a Cell match. They can only do those matchs once a year you know, it usally goes to Smackdown! though.
    
    Sorry, but I didn't really enjoy this article, you just said your opinons everywhere, and said The Miz was a loser, he's quite talented. The Legacy is going to be a awesome stable, Orton's my third favourite wrestler. (Frist is Edge, second is Chirs Jericho)
    
    But about Jericho, he's coming back. I seen it on a preview on T.V saying "Buy tickets to see Jericho V.S John Cena!" That's in Canada tickets. In Febuary. And Mike Knox is another big guy, who will get into a boring fwud with Rey, Rey deserves a title.

    Posted by Knuckles on Monday, January 19, 2009

26. Comment #26

    HBK has beaten Cena, He beat him in a Wrestlemania rematch after Wrestlemania 23

    Posted by Blight on Tuesday, January 20, 2009

27. Comment #27

    wrestling is da bomb

    Posted by Tamatea on Tuesday, January 20, 2009

28. Comment #28

    Great read Kash! Everyone has some typos once in a while. I am sure he meant "John Cena went for the FU and HBK escapes and pushes Cena to the ropes". That is how it happened from where I was setting. I believe Raw is still the flagship and is very interesting with all the storylines. I agree that it has lost some luster, but for me it is still my favorite brand.
    
    My show grade - C+
    My grade for your article - B+
    
    Great Job overall my friend!

    Posted by Paralizer on Tuesday, January 20, 2009

29. Comment #29

    Did you see how long Raw's matchs are now? To short, I want to watch a long intersting match, not something when I go away for a second and the match is over. All of these Raw matchs were to short, but the main event. Smackdown's matchs are the best, because they know they have to do a long good match. When I last checked, Smackdown has longer wrestling time then Raw.

    Posted by Knuckles on Wednesday, January 21, 2009

30. Comment #30

    Not too bad a recap, Curtis! Ignore the fools who want Vince back. Someone needs to do this article and it might as well be you! =D

    Posted by Dominic Korgath on Thursday, January 22, 2009

31. Comment #31

    You like raw so much that you didnt know Mike damle got fired.... I'm just saying

    Posted by WBE on Thursday, January 29, 2009

32. Comment #32

    Anyone who goes on about the HBK/Throwback/FU or whatever the hell they call it nowadays finisher, Curtis made a typo. Nobody's perfect, [except me, of course ;]) so no-one should over-react to his mistake (Comment 6 literally freaked out! :D)
    
    Secondly, The Miz being a loser thing, I will disagree with that entirely and ask you to keep your opinions to yourself in future. The only reason I say that is in articles like these, people just want a review, not a boring one, but a good one. Opinions like this will be your downfall but the article was one of high quality and I look forward to Curtis' next serving.
    
    As for this Vince drama, Vince left for his own reasons and we ALL must respect them and I'm sure Curtis will do a fine job, reporting on RAW. So give the guy a chance. It's a new brand for him and yes, a few mistakes have been spotted. But believe me, a 10 page essay on Romeo and Juliet is not easy to spell check. (Unless of course you can be bothered enough to click on Tools in Word and select Spell Check and watch as the computer will tell you how bad you are at spelling. You could be there for days, seriously.)

    Posted by Jamie Readman on Friday, January 30, 2009

33. Comment #33

    wow awsome i love it

    Posted by jeff on Thursday, February 05, 2009

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