One thing I do miss about Superstars is the entrance theme. ECW’s just isn’t as catchy.  Great!  We’ve got Abraham Washington to look forward to.  But up first, with the boyband style music...

Zack Ryder (w/ Rosa Mendes) vs. Shelton Benjamin

It’s a number one contender’s match as well.  Shelton’s been looking on top of his game recently, and I’m a bit disappointed they cut his feud with Sheamus short in order to make the latter #1 contender for John Cena’s title.  If that’s not premature, I don’t know what is.  He’s not even been getting much heat over there, and he’s barely removed from jobber squashes.  His mic skills need some serious improvement.  I don’t see why he’s been given a shot over someone like Swagger, who’s held the ECW title successfully, has been improving rapidly on the mic despite the lisp... Admittedly I didn’t get to see Survivor Series, where I hear he was given a massive push, but also accidentally wiped out Scott Armstrong (tough month that guy’s having).  Basically, I don’t think he’s ready.

Anyway, the ‘let’s go Shelton’ chants bring me back to the match, where Ryder’s already hiding behind the ropes.  Shelton flies out of the blocks with a couple of knees and a back body drop, so Ryder decides to slide out of the ring and go for a wander.  Benjamin catches up and nails him in the back of the head.  Benjamin with a suplex and Ryder responds with some elbows to the abs and shoulder charges at the turnbuckle.  Ryder goes for a monkey flip, but Shelton lands on his feet and hits a Samoan drop for 2.  He gets 2 turnbuckle punches in before Ryder seems to botch a Manhattan drop, so Benjamin punches him and hits a hard scoop slam.  Matthews proves once again that he can’t really speak, failing a few times to say that Benjamin is ‘naturally athletically gifted’.  Ryder’s back in the match with a series of strikes before getting caught with a belly to belly suplex, where a rope break stops the pin.  Ryder hangs Benjamin up on the top rope, and Benjamin hits a sweet modified bicycle kick to send Ryder from the top rope to the floor, leading us into the ad break.

We’re back and Ryder has Benjamin in an abdominal stretch, as apparently what happened during the break was a Rosa distraction as Ryder hits his Roughryder leg lariat on the outside.  Hard Irish whip into the turnbuckle by Ryder gets 2.  Ryder’s getting his heel on, a couple of stiff kicks to the prone Benjamin and a knee into the neck before hitting a 2^nd rope splash for 2 and locking in a bodyscissors.  Ryder heads up top, takes about 30 seconds to do it, and still manages to hit a top rope splash, but a last millisecond kickout from Benjamin.  The crowd’s picking up and getting behind Shelton again, leading to a back and forth striking competition, with Benjamin shouting at Ryder to hit him, before launching into a second-wind style attack, including a top rope springboard forearm, big splash into the turnbuckle, backbreaker and a German suplex for 2.  Ryder breaks back and goes for a second Roughryder, but Benjamin catches him well and hits a turnbuckle powerbomb to set him up for Pay Dirt and the victory.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Match Rating:  6/10 – Solid action, a good performance from Benjamin to make him the #1 contender.  Ryder didn’t show a great deal of offensive capability, mostly strikes and a couple of splashes alongside the Roughryder leg lariat.

Christian’s out to talk to Benjamin (with an ad break on the way) about Tables, Ladders and Chairs in 3 weeks’ time.  There’s actually going to be an ECW title match!  Wow...

Christian challenges Shelton to a ladder match, while Shelton continues to show that he’s got virtually no mic skills... but this should be a good match at TLC.  Christian challenges Shelton to help him steal the show, and I reckon they’ve got a decent enough chance of doing it given that Cena’s going to beat Sheamus (one of the few matches I want Cena to win comfortably).

Regal’s in the locker room telling Jackson and Kozlov, the two robots, that they have to be ready for anything tonight in his match with Yoshi Tatsu.  Now I like Regal for the most part, but this stable is just terrible.  It’s all well and good having a dominant stable, but it needs at least a little bit of charisma other than the leader or the henchmen will just fade into obscurity.  Whether that’s what the WWE wants, well it’s a possibility, but remember Kozlov was undefeated on Smackdown for a long time, and now he’s been relegated to the position of lackey to someone who I wouldn’t even consider to be Intercontinental/US Title material, never mind the face of the third brand.  Christian is a good man to have in that position, and Benjamin must be on one of his last chances to show some charisma and get a real following.  We know he’s good athletically, but if he’s going to be champion he needs to have that extra entertainment factor.

Another Vance Archer squash match.  Checklist mostly copied and pasted from last week:

1.       Mat slam

2.       Boot

3.       Running elbow

4.       Stomps

5.       Foot chokes

6.       The jobber falls over backwards when he’s going for what looks like a dragon sleeper, so he puts in a chinlock instead

7.       Short-arm clothesline

8.       Swinging faceplant-type thing, still don’t know what it’s called yet

9.       Scoop slam into Reverse DDT

RAW Rebound – Jesse Ventura did a pretty good job I reckon.  He did have a good point about the same people getting shots at the title, I just would have liked to have preferred to see MVP getting it (preferably the heel version) and it’s been far too long since I’ve seen someone put through a table!  I like Sheamus’ move set, and I think he could be a contender one day, just not yet.

Run through of the current TLC card.  One Tables (Sheamus vs. Cena), one Ladders (Christian vs. Benjamin), one TLC (JeriShow vs. DX) and one Chairs match, which is yet to be decided, but I think I can safely assume it’ll be Batista vs. Undertaker.

Abraham Washington Show, featuring Matt Hardy.  Abraham says something about Twilight: New Moon, and tells the crowd that their faces all look like dogs.  He’d normally say he was just playing, but this time, he’s not.  That bit did make me laugh, apologies.  Abraham’s disappointed it’s not his brother, who’s got a DVD coming out (shameless plug) and it turns out Matt Hardy’s on the show before ECW next week, Scare Tactics.  They show a clip.  It looks rubbish.  Abraham says he wasn’t scared, and is never scared, before Tony Atlas makes him jump out of his seat.  Abraham throws a strop and ends the show, while Matt and Tony do the V1 sign together for the crowd.

Tony’s a hell of a lot funnier than Abraham, even with the laugh, but I’m not sure he always means it.

William Regal (w/ Zeke and Kozlov) vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Yoshi, the PG version of Tajiri, without being quite as awesome (no mist, no Tarantula, no ridiculous flexibility).  He’s good, and someone the WWE definitely need.  He does seem to have a lot of charisma, in the ring at least.  Josh Matthews says he likes to call him ‘The Cardiac Kid’, in an effort to be like Matt Striker and make up new nicknames for people.  Fail.

Armlocks are traded early, then European uppercuts.  Yoshi hits a series of kicks, a chop and a spinning back kick before Regal hits back with a knee to the head.  A series of knees and another uppercut to follow, before Regal locks in a grinding headlock.  Regal leaves Yoshi hung up on the second rope, Kozlov pushes him back into the ring, where he nails the kick to the head and wins.  That’s it?

Winner:  Yoshi Tatsu

Match rating – 2/10 – Way too short for either of them to show anything

Yoshi escapes as Zeke and Kozlov get into the ring.  Regal asks who was responsible for his loss.  Kozlov blames Jackson.  Jackson Uranages him (and it looks good), then Uranages Regal (and it looks bad).  Not a flicker of emotion on his face the entire time... is it a face turn?  I can’t tell.  The crowd doesn’t care anyway.  At least that stable seems to be over. 

Show rating – 3/10 –  A joke of a main event, that lasted all of 4 minutes, from 2 guys who could have put on a good show is really disappointing.  I’m looking forward to the ECW TLC match though, Benjamin looked good in a decent enough match and Christian... well I can’t think of a bad match he’s been in since he returned.  I’m not counting his 5 second victory against Regal at whichever PPV that was, because it wasn’t a match.  Given the current card, I think that match could be one of the best of the night.  Christian’s right, every other clip in a highlight reel of ladder matches would probably involve one of them (or at least a match involving one of them) and they’re both good enough in-ring performers to really give ECW a breath of life.  Hopefully Archer will get a real opposition next week, because squash matches show very little, particularly when you’ve already seen what appears to be his whole move set.

I’ve been The General, this has been ECW, consider yourself debriefed.