TNA Report 5/3/10

Welcome to the second week of the TNA Report with Tkellionaire. Last week's show left plenty of questions to be answered and Impact didn't disappoint.

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The show opens with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff in a limo. Hulk Hogan seems intent on getting to the bottom of the whole Sting situation and it will all be solved tonight with a confrontation.

Were shot over to the announce table and were given a run down on the match card for tonight but thats not big compared to the important announcement. TNA Impact will officially be moving back to Thursday nights. They claim to be doing this to give the fans what they want but im thinking that maybe the war with RAW didnt go as well as Dixie Carter expected.

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Ric Flair's entrance music plays and here comes the nature boy. Actually its Jay Lethal who comes down and he does it with the hall of fame ring on hand. He begins to mock Ric Flair with his trademark "WOOS". The act continues until finally Ric Flair comes out to hopefully stop the obnoxious Jay Lethal. Ric Flair took the whole scene as disrespect but apparently Lethal didnt mean any. Lethal claims to be proud of himself for being Flair and that he wants to hang this moment on his wall and frame it.

Ric Flair goes along with it until he gets his ring back and then he slaps Jay Lethal. Lethal doesnt take it so well so he attacks Flair in the corner but guess who comes to the rescue. Not just AJ Styles but Beer Money and Desmond Wolfe. The numbers game is too much for Lethal but Team 3D makes their way down to even the count. Its now a brawl until RVD comes down with a steel chair that helps clear the ring.

The champ gets on the microphone to start Impact off. RVD calls out everyone on Flair's side and tells them that instead of picking on the macho man, lets have a fight. The brawl results in three big matches for tonight.

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Doug Williams comes out with his X-Division title belt even though he isnt technically the real champion. He thinks that the volcano eruption shouldnt punish him so he wants Kazarian in a match at Sacrifice.

Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick vs Ink Inc. (Shannon Moore & Jesse Neil)

Doug Williams insulted Kendrick before the match so I have an early feeling that these two wont work good together. Although Ink Inc. is a new debuting team so they might not work the best together either. Williams and Neil start off the match and things are going Williams way from start until tag. Doug Williams managed to hit multiple knee drops and a nice T-Bone suplex. Moore finally gets in and hits Kendrick with a crossbody right off the bat. He continues the attack by hitting an atomic drop as well as a lariat. To top it all off he hits a spinning neckbreaker that stuns Kendrick long enough for Moore to tag in Neil. Jesse Neil wastes no time and plants Kendrick into the mat with a vicious spear that earns the three count.

Nice win and I think im going to like this tag team. They have very similar personalities so I think TNA did a good job on matching these two. Matt Morgan also got on commentary during the match for a few seconds and is giving TNA just seven days to give him a new tag team partner.

Winner: Jesse Neil & Shannon Moore (Ink Inc.)

Match Rating: 6/10

After the match, Samoa Joe comes out and drops Doug Williams on the entrance ramp. Kendrick goes for some kind of high five or something and Samoa Joe wants no part of it. Joe takes Kendrick to the ring and plants him with a musclebuster. Let the rampage continue!

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Ric Flair is shown backstage with his crew and Flair is red and sweaty as ever. He yells to all his guys that they either get the job done tonight or they will be replaced by someone who can.

Somewhere else backstage is a man in a robe of some sort. That man is Mr. Anderson and he instantly assaults the injured D'Angelo Dinero until he is down. From there he starts crushing The Pope between two crates and it doesnt seem like the assault is lightening up. Anderson finally gives it a rest and throws on Dinero's trademark shades.

Were back from a commercial break and Anderson is in the ring with the same ridiculous clothes on. He is still arrogant and very self centered as always but now its even worse. He says that he has prepared a sermon for us... not another CM Punk hopefully. He goes on to say that he plans on burning in hell but for some reason I dont understand why he is proud of that but none the less, he is. Jeff Hardy comes down to the ring and talks trash to him and backs it up with a twist of fate. Hardy treats Anderson like a puppet of some sort by talking for him and I guess in TNA that is enough to make a PPV match official. So Hardy will face Anderson at Sacrifice.

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The Beautiful People vs Tara, Taylor Wilde, & Sarita

Madison pins Sarita after a double suplex.

Winner: The Beautiful People

Match Rating: N/A

Tara is shown backstage and she is willing to put here "freaking career" on the line for a title shot at Sacrifice. Judging by the fact that she has already been released by TNA... I think I can guess how this ends.

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Beer Money Inc. vs Team 3D vs Motor City Machine Guns

Early on its a battle between Beer Money and the Motor City Machine Guns but Sabin uses his high flying abilities to his advantage by isolating the one dimensional attack that Beer Money portrays. Brother Devon gets in the match for Team 3D and now things really start picking up as Devon takes out Storm and Roode. For the third straight week it seems as if Team 3D is on the verge of a huge win but here comes The Band as normal. The Band and Team 3D begin a brawl and the bell rings and the match is ended by disqualification but this isnt stopping these wrestlers.

Winner: No Contest

Match Rating: 4/10

The Band is able to outnumber Team 3D so they win that battle but here comes Eric Young with a kendo stick! And Young uses it to stop... wait. Eric Young rocks Brother Ray with the kendo stick and then does it again on Brother Devon? This makes no sense to me at all why Eric Young seems to be joining The Band but this brawl isnt over. The Motor City Machine Guns are able to fight there way back into the mix but Beer Money is the team that gets the last statement.

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Its time for the O-Zone with Orlando Jordan. The segment begins and well... its really weird. Jordon reveals a cardboard cutout of Rob Terry and begins to talk about how much he likes Terry's body. At this point I think that this segment is kind of or very awkward but at least its original. Rob Terry comes out and tries to portray himself as the guy you dont want to mess with but he ends up getting taken out by Orlando Jordan of all people.

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Abyss vs AJ Styles- Monsters Ball Match

I take it that they dont lock the competitors in confinement custody for 24 hours anymore without light or food? Looks like the new Monsters Ball is just a hardcore match. Oh well, I'll take it.

The match starts off with a ton of back and forth action and there is no shortage of weapons. Crutches, chairs, and even a trash can get involved in this one. The ice is broken when Abyss hits the Shock Treatment on Styles but it still only gets the two count. Abyss then is forced to take this match to higher measures so here comes the tacks. Ric Flair and Chelsea rush down the ramp to distract Abyss and it works to perfection. AJ Styles sneaks up from behind and decks Abyss in the back with a steel chair. Flair then hands Styles the brass knuckles and Styles delivers a brutal punch on Abyss. The Monster still has a little left in the tank but Styles isnt done yet. A springboard crossbody onto the tacks is all Styles needed and he picks up the win over Abyss in his own match.

Winner: AJ Styles

Match Rating: 7/10

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Rob Van Dam (c) vs Desmond Wolfe- TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Its main event time and here comes out the whole FN show! Tonight marks the first title defense for RVD and it will be against Desmond Wolfe who received the most votes in the new contenders system. The match starts at a fast pace and RVD is able to keep up with it and keeps the early initiative for a while but Wolfe gets in a few nice counters. Rob Van Dam takes back control though with a Rolling Thunder but it only keeps Wolfe down for a split moment. Wolfe sets up for the Tower of London but RVD blocks it and answers with a back kick onto the entrance ramp. Wolfe charges back but ends up getting backdropped into the ring. Five Star Frogsplash connects for RVD and the champion retains in a short but solid contest.

Winner: Rob Van Dam (Still TNA Heavyweight Champion)

Match Rating: 6.5/10

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Hulk Hogan finally gets to talk to Sting but he doesnt find out a lot about why Sting has changed. They go back to the WCW and WWF days and the final conclusion is that Sting is overwhelmed by the protection that Hogan has brought to TNA. At least that is what Hogan thinks about the whole situation. Hogan provokes Sting even more and ends up taking a bat shot from Sting but here comes Jarrett to save the day. Jeff Jarrett is able to make the save on Hogan and the show fades off the air.

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Show Rating: 6.5/10

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Weekly Awards:

Best Performer: Rob Van Dam

Best Statement: Samoa Joe

Best Moment: AJ Styles and Abyss breaking out the hardcore

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TNA Top Five

1) Samoa Joe (up two spots)

2) AJ Styles (up a spot)

3) Jeff Hardy (new to the list)

4) Jeff Jarrett (new to the list)

5) Mr. Anderson (fell four spots)

Off The List: (Abyss and Rob Terry)

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Thanks for reading and tune in next week to read all about another week in Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling!

Comments

1. Comment #1

   i would like 2 wrestle for tna

   Posted by christopher blankenship on Friday, May 07, 2010

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