As some of you might know, Fatal 4 Way was Sunday and apparently it wasn’t that big of a fail. It was worse! It ended after just 150 minutes or so cause the writers are just epic fail. Oh wait…they are just FAIL!

Now after we established this, let’s take a look at my Pay-Per-View predictions..

5 out of 7! And I only failed the one about Mysterio and the women’s title match. Damn I fail!

Anyway this is the Smackdown review so I think I should start reviewing Smackdown! So, Let’s get this blood fest started!

We start off with Theodore Long and Vickie Guerrero who explain us the MitB concept. The way I see it they’re plugging the PPV cause their ticket sales are LAME!

Theddeh!(Drew comes in) Whip that smile off your face!

Teddy is happy cause the Board of Directors gave him full power on Smackdown! And he reinstates Matt Hardy and schedules a match between Drew and Matt. (epic fail right there)Then he throws him out of his office.  And Vickie agreed with Theddeh.

We start off with The Big Show who’s getting cheers and ovations !ALOT! Show’s opponent will be…*drum roll*…Jack “Lispy” Swagger!

Apparently the Fatal 4 Way is unhappy with that concept! So he filed a protessss…ssst againssss…ssst the WWE! And he will invoke his rematch clause at Money in the Bank Pay-per-View.

The Big Show vs. Jack Swagger

The giant uses Swagger as a foot wiper. SUPERPLEX as we head into COMMERCIALS!

We’re back with Show working on the left arm of the former World Heavyweight Champion. He tries to come back in the match with some kicks but Show just shakes them off. Show uses the ropes to gain speed!Jack dodges and shoulder blocks the giant’s knee. DDTs to the leg of the grounded Show. Shoulder block off the second rope followed by a BOOM DROP! Vader bomb. Another on…chokesla…reversed into a rollup transitioned into an ankle lock!

Show grabs the ropes! Swagger won’t let go! 1…2…3…4…5! RING THE BELL!

Winner: The Big Show

Show taps out and eventually Jack lets go! The giant tries to get up to his feet but fails. He crawls his way out of the ring

Six-Man Tag Team Match
Curt Hawkins, Vance Archer & Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP, Christian & Kofi Kingston

MVP starts off with a nice suplex ( it wasn’t a regular suplex but I don’t know the name of that variation so I’ll just call it a suplex) and he tags Captain Botch in.Couple of slaps and a dropkick before he tags MVP back in who clears the house. Montel over the top rope! Kofi follows! Christian disappoints us and only manages to hit a baseball slide. We boo him as the commercials roll in front of our eyes.

We’re back and MVP is beating the life out of Ziggler. Kofi gets the tag and he starts trading armlocks with Dolph. Flying knee to Ziggah’s face! Dropkick and a Russian leg sweep. Curt distracts Kofi and ziggler is in control of the match. Archer gets the tag. He beats him up a bit and tags in Curt who suplexes Kingston. Kofi hits a jawbreaker but Dolph stops him from tagging out. Body slam. Kofi with the head scissors and the tag to Christian.Team heel distracts Christian but MVP distracts Dolph. Inverted DDT. Back kick and sunset flip from Christian who walks right into Ziggler’s head. Missile dropkick from the Peep gets a 2 count! HAVOC!Trouble in Hawkins’ paradise! MVP and Archer over the top rope! Missed Zig Zag! Unprettier! 1..2..3!

Winners: MVP, Christian & Kofi Kingston

Kane is backstage and he’s talking to an open casket! AGAIN! Tonight he will do a lot of nasty stuff to CM Punk and to the Straightedge society!

Matt’s backstage chatting with the WWE employees as he makes his way to the ring for his match.

Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre
MASSIVE pop for Matt who has a new sleeveless t-shirt.

Matt punches Drew out of the ring and botches a spear! Over the steel steps he goes! McIntyre sends hardy back first into the steel ringpost. Back suplex off the steel steps Knocks Hardy Out!ALMOST! Ground and pound from the Scotsman. Half Nelson Superplex thing still doesn’t keep Hardy down. Arm lock and again ground and pound from Drew. Back superplex! Matt grabs the rope and rolls out of the ring! COMMERCIALS!

Matt gets up from an armbar but is sent back-first into the turnbuckle. Clothesline and stomps!Hardy’s back with a neckbreaker! Side effect gets a 2 count!Neckbreaker on the knee to Matt gets Drew a 2. McIntyre flies over the top rope! Elbow to the back of the head off the apron. Spine first into the steel steps!Drew wants to stomp on his head but Matt takes the leg off him and the Scotsman falls on the steps. TWIST OF FATE! 3 count!

Winner: Matt Hardy

Teddy appears on the titantron!And he announces that SOMEBODY’s VISA expired! Sorry playa’!

Drew wants Striker to talk to Vince… He’ll be deported!

Rhodes and Harris

Cody’s out to proclaim himself “WWE’s most attractive superstar”. Because of some weird poll off the WWE website or something. And some divas voted him as the handsomest WWE superstar!

He mocks Husky Harris and starts bragging with his genetics… GOLDUST?

He insults some spectators and insults Todd Grisham! HEY! Leave Todd out of this!

Hey! Tony Chimel is NOT a doughnut man! He’s obviously a pie man!

Then he keeps on calling himself “Dashing” Cody Rhodes!

Back scratching

Dolph is backstage and he tells Vickie to put him in a match for the IC title or else no more back scratching for Guerrero! 

Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly (w/Tiffany)

Rosa is ugly!

Winner: Kelly Kelly

No-Disqualification Main Event
CM Punk vs. Kane

Punk: This is the face of an innocent man!

That is the mask of a doomed man!

BLOODY SNAKES! Is it me or Kane’s pyros were awesomer than usual?

Kane sends Punk over the top rope! Oh a guard rail! And another one!Back first into the ring apron! Military press on the guard rail! Gallows eats them uppercuts and steel steps!Mercury ..i mean the masked SES man eats some guard rail too!

From behind Punk and Gallows attack Kane! Big Red Machine is being  beaten to a red pulp!

Kane sends Punk over the guard rail in Tony Chimel’s section! The rest of the SES is knocked out cold! Kane’s trying to squash Punk’s arms! Punk meets the steels teps 2 times with his back!

Mercury CHOKESLAMED ON THE CONCRETE!

Gallows interferes! Kane CHOKESLAMS LUKE ON THE TABLE!

Kane chases Punk through the crowd! Someone trip that guy! BODYSLAM THROUGH A TABLE in the lobby!

Over the snack table! 2 times! He ruined those chips!

Punk runs off in his wrestling gear into the night!

The END

This Show was AWESOME! No midgets! 2 grudge matches! Kane was absolutely LEGENDARY! If he would have had that mask on and his old outfit it would have been freakin’ GODLY!

Vegetative state Undertaker=crap! But I’ll put up to it as long as I get the Big Red Monster on my screen!

Time for …*drum roll*

The Bloodless victim rant!

Kelsey Clarke:Why are WWE giving Mysterio all he wants?

Honestly I think this is all about the money he brings to the company!

Because Mysterio is OLD! It’s not about his wrestling abilities because you can’t tell me that Mysterio is better than Bourne. It’s about Mysterio’s popularity and about the money WWE makes from selling his masks. It’s simple math: keep Mysterio happy, he stays with us, we sell more masks, we make more money, we give Mysterio more money and make him happy… it’s a cycle…

Final answer: Mysterio gets what Mysterio wants because Mysterio=money!

The Bloodless victim rant! (the sequel)  

Game Reynolds:Something about why Christian isn't being used properly.

I’m not a fan of Christian. I think he’s just coasting on the reputation he made during the Attitude Era as one half of the Suicide Blondes, E&C! I think he’s slow and botchy!

But Reynolds is right. Christian came to the WWE from TNA as a big star! He was sent to ECW. We were all shocked but he got the title and he had it for a while. Then ECW died (again) and he was sent to Smackdown! But on his way he probably stepped on Vince’s toes or made some smart comments about Hunter because he went from being a champion to tagging with Hornswoggle! That’s a huge drop!

The internet is silent too… no backstage stories and rumors about Christian, nothing! So the ways I see it there are 2 scenarios:

1. he is being punished for something he did or said
2. he’s preparing for a storyline much like the one MVP had… long streak of losses, hits rock bottom then he starts climbing the ladder and grabs the IC title…

Final answer: I have no idea! But those are the 2 safest bets if you ask me.

All right Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it for this edition, make sure to read my next article, I am Phenom The Vampire Lord, until next time find yourself a garlic necklace… you might need it!