The show starts off with DeGeneration-X ( ah damn, this show will be a bad one) and apparently they have something to say cause they have microphones! But out comes Rey Mysterio (ah damn this show just got worse!) and he has something to say too! This is how it all went!

Rey: I respect you , but all you have said lately is that Taker will beat me at the Rumble! And you will face him at Wrestlemania once again… That’s not fair! *insert crybaby face here*

Shawn:  That’s exactly what I think! And I want to know is why are you out here in my face? *insert staredown here*

Triple H: Listen Rey, you clearly want a fight, but Hornswoggle is busy tonight so, TOUGH LUCK!

Rey: You think that was funny? I’ll tell you a good joke, this Sunday I’ll do something that neither of you could do at Wrestlemania, and that’s beat the Undertaker!

Phenom: Stop it Rey, you’re too funny! *rolls on the floor laughing with tears in his eyes*

Shawn: What happens if you don’t make it to the Rumble?

Rey: What happens if YOU don’t make it to the rumble? *insert staredown here*If there’s a problem we could settle it right here tonight!

This is when The Straightedge Squad comes out, says something I really don’t want to listen! Triple H makes some fun of CM Punk’s look!

Theodore Long is out to make some matches. Rey vs. Shawn and Hunter vs. CM Punk!

Wohoo!

 Saving the garlic bread sandwiches!Part 2!

The second ever Vampire Sandwich Hut commercial featuring the Blood Ties cast will be aired later on tonight! So stay tuned, or else…*evil grin*

 Triple H vs. CM Punk

Standard start and Hunter is in control! Shoulder thrusts and kicks in the corner from the straightedge hairy dude! A surprise pedigree attempt and punk is out of the ring! Rope choke to Trips and springboard clothesline from Punk!COMMERCIALS!

Episode 1.Part 1. Commercial

The camera is focused on Henry Fitzroy, the main character of the Blood Ties series.

Henry: While trying to stop Norman and his demon master I came across the Vampire Sandwich Hut and got addicted to the garlic bread sandwiches! You should try them too!

The camera fades to black.

And we’re back in ring to see Punk and his legged sleeper hold! This is boring! And  a spinning kick gets Chicago man a 2! Irish whip and strikes in the corner!

SOMEONE should close Striker’s wikipedia page! Honestly, he keeps on telling us all kinds of unnecessary things. Boo Striker!

Snap suplex by Triple H and both men are down! Punk’s up first and nails a roundhouse kick! More legged sleeper holds, but Trips hangs on to the ropes! Spinebuster to the charging Punk and both are down! Punk’s up at 6 and so is Hunter! Facebuster from the Cerebral Assasin followed by a high knee! Back body drop to counter the Pedigree! Running high knee into the corner but the bulldog is countered.

Figure 4 leglock! Bwahaha! Punk will get a good spot in a good federation once he leaves WWE! Flair had Angle in a Figure 4 and then angle moved to TNA to be the champ!

Serena  distracts the referee and Gallows hits Hunter breaking the hold in the process! Go To Sleep… no, it’s the Pedigree…no, Serena gets in and attacks Triple H.

Winner: Triple H(via DQ)

After the match Hunter is under attack, and it seems like Gallows wants to shave his head! Michaels comes in to make the save and DX clean the house!

Graphics to advertise the Rey vs. Shawn Micheals match and the Intercontinental Championship match between John Morrison and Drew McIntyre!

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall.” Jericho makes his way to the ring while we see a footage from last week when the team of Jericho and McIntyre  lost to JoMo and R-Truth! R-man sings his way to the ring! Hmm 2 superstars only need 2 minutes 45 seconds to make their entrance? That’s a first!

R-Truth vs. Chris

Jericho starts with a headlock and .. that’s it cause R-Truth comes back with an arm drag and a dropkick! Slingshot crossbody attempt failed cause Jericho makes a side step! Brilliant! COMMERCIALS!

Episode 1.Part 2. Commercial

The camera once again focuses on Henry, who’s sitting on a golden throne.

Henry: After deafeating Astaroth I was feeling weak and powerless, and so was Vicki. So I took her out at the Vampire Sandwich Hut for a late night garlic bread sandwich. And in just a couple of moments we were feeling a lot better! Try it!

The camera once again fades to black.

Jericho’s strategy seems to be focused on Truth’s abdomen. And a vicious gutbuster followed by an abdominal stretch! R-Truth hip tosses his way out of it and hits a flying forearm and a hurricanrana and a leg lariat! Walls of Jericho countered with an inside cradle that gets a 2! Missed codebreaker and a pin from Truth gets him the win!

Winner: R-Truth

Classy Animal?

Who cares about what Batista has to say? Look at his clothes! That’s the big bad Animal? The monster heel? FAIL!

Josh: Has your strategy changed after last week?

Batista: Nah, the spotlight should be on me!

Phenom: Yeah, but you should be on the catwalk with some stiletto heels to match that outfit!

Batista: I’m the rightful champion, and I am winning the Royal Rumble! Then I’ll win at Wrestlemania and become the champion! GRR!

John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre

No Disqualification for the Intercontinental Championship

Gotta love the slow motion!

John has a microphone and he calls Drew a corporate champion, a guy that takes shortcuts, a guy that runs to the bosses for favors and that’s how he became the IC champion. And tonight, in a no disqualification match, the Friday Night Delight will win back that title!

The match starts with an aggressive Morrison who hits a leg lariat and a clothesline to send Drew outside! Kendostick shots… ahh, where art thou Sandman? Back in ring we see submission moves…this is boring chants should start here! Kicks and punches from JoMo, but a middle kick sends him to the mat. Drew poses with the title, and the flying chuck misses…Drew struggles with the steel steps…and he misses John. They fight into the crowd. Over the wall slingshot clothesline. Kendostick shots from John and an arm drag onto the steel steps! DAMN that hurt! Pin attempt in ring and the Starship Pain lands on Drew’s upraised knees! Butterfly DDT on the IC championship belt gets the 1,2,3!

Winner: Drew McIntyre (still IC champion)

Lame diva moment of the week!

Michelle makes fun of poor Mickie James who by the way is not fat! Then she calls out any girl that’s brave enough to fight her and Mickie’s song hits! But it’s Layla dressed in a piggie James outfit! AWFUL!

McCool vs. Piggie James

I refuse to comment on that!

Stop trying Batista!

Batista corners Shawn Michaels and threatens him, but Hunter appears from behind enabling HBK to leave. Staredown between Batista and Triple H. Keep on trying Dave, you won’t be a monster heel in those clothes!

Main Event!

Rey Mysterio vs. Shawn Michaels                                                           

The pace of the match is nice, not too slow! Hurricanrana and a 619 position for HBK, but he rolls out of the ring! Stiff chops in and outside the ring from Shawn. Snapmare, and irish whip, but Rey grabs the ropes. Drop toe hold and a Mysterio uses the ropes for leverage as he goes for a 619. Shawn gets up though and tries to kick kim in the teeth but fails cause Rey is too short! Headscissors from Rey and both men are outside! COMMERCIALS

Who cares about RAW?

I honestly don’t so give me back my Smackdown!           

Back in ring, Rey’s trying to break Michaels’ leg. HBK from the ropes with a running swinging neckbreaker and both men are down. Drop toe hold by Rey who is shoved as he goes for the moonsault. Figure 4 leglock for the second time in one night!

Some people will get some good federations sometime.

Rey grabs the ropes, and they get up to trade blows. Headscissors  and a seated senton gets a 2! Rey springboards in an inverted atomic drop! OUCH! Splash onto HBK’s upraised knees. And the elbow drop from the top rope. Mysterio gets up and dials 619. but the springboard move lands in a Sweet chin music.

Batista interferes and spears Michaels.

Winner: Shawn Michaels (via DQ)

Spinebuster to Rey and The Game makes the save. Clothesline and all 4 men are on the ground. Lights out and Taker comes in to double chokeslam Rey and Shawn.

The show was good, I wasn’t expecting it to be this good… we saw some nice moves and we saw The Undertaker hit a double chokeslam!

This will probably be published after the Rumble but here are my picks.

ECW Championship
Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Winner: Christian

United States Championship
The Miz (c) vs. MVP
Winner: MVP

WWE Championship
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus (c)
Winner: Randy Orton

Womens Championship
Michelle McCool (c) vs. Mickie James
Winner: Mickie James

World Heavyweight Championship
Undertaker (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner: Undertaker

Royal Rumble Match

This one is a hard one but I’ll go with Chris Jericho. Apparently Edge is out for a while so I can’t pick him although you can never be too sure.

All right Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it for this edition, make sure to read my next article, I am Phenom The Vampire Lord, until next time find yourself a garlic necklace… you might need it!