Vampire's Crypt: Smackdown report for 09/03/2010

Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you once again into the Vampire’s Crypt. This week’s show sucked bigtime. I had an article written and I was quite happy with it! Until the goddess of Misfortune struck and I lost everything. And since it’s late and I have to send in a report or else bad things will happen to me I’ll just post the important stuff.

I am sorry for letting you down…

Anyway, let’s get this blood fest started

 

The show started off with a video package explaining the Kane-Undertaker rivalry. Bored as hell I fast forward to the interesting bits.

 

The start of something…

Alberto Del Rio is having a party tonight to celebrate Midgetsterio’s fractured wrist. He makes fun of Rey by calling him names and destroying a piñata with Rey’s mask on. He shows us a clip where he fractures Rey’s hand. This upsets Christian who comes out to defend his little friend. They call eachother names and almost get in a fight! McIntyre blindsides Christian as we head into COMMERCIALS.

 

We’re back to find out that during the break Christian’s stomach met the steel steps.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian 

Drew dominates his opponent most of the match by focusing his attacks on the injured abdomen. But Christian picks up the win after a lucky pin.

To WWE Creative: ONLY CENA IS ALLOWED TO WIN AFTER GETTING DOMINATED THE ENTIRE MATCH!

Winner: Christian

I guess that happens to Drew for getting his wife in jail.

 

Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McTaker(/w Layla)

You know I hate them divas matches.

Winner: Michelle McCool

 

Leprechaunian to English Translation

Hornswoggle is backstage getting shocked into talking. He gets shocked 2 times and gets pissed off so he takes off the electrodes and shocks the doctor so hard, smoke starts coming out of him.

 

Chris Masters vs. Dolph Ziggler(/w Vickie)

Chris was obviously too powerful for Dolph, but Ziggler got out of a master lock and hit the Zig Zag for the win.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

 

The Big Show vs. Luke Gallows and CM Punk (/w Joseph Mercury)

This was a joke of a match. Every time the SES tried something, Show just smiled and smacked them away.

Show hits a reverse powerbomb thing on Gallows and then locks in the Colossal Clutch for the tapout win.

Winner: The Big Show

After the match Punk hit Gallows with the GTS.

 

The VIP Snorefest Lounge

Swagger Sr and Jr are stroking eachother’s egos until MVP comes out and closes the lounge for renovations. MVP throws out of the ring all the trophies and furniture and they start chasing eachother in ring. Sr. ends up on the floor and Jr. is somewhere outside licking the ground

 

Cody Rhodes vs. Matt (Fat) Hardy

Before the match Cody states the obvious about Matt’s appearance and that pisses the undertalented Hardy brother off.

The match starts and Matt Hardy’s rage helps him dominate Cody.

But an out of nowhere Cross Rhodes gets Goldust’s brother the win.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

 

The Big Red Machine Speaks

I still claim that Kane’s entrance song should be a modified version of Fear Factory’s “Smasher Devourer”. Something like this, perhaps?

Fear me not but fear my hell
Hate made me so I could kill!!
Praise me in the name of war
I destroy both rich and poor.

I am The Way

Prepare for…DESTRUCTION!

What do you think? Post a comment in the comment section (obviously)

For The Undertaker, the end of his existence will come at The Night Of Champions. That night will be the night when the devil’s favorite demon  will come out on top. Finally after all those years, Kane has The Undertaker’s powers!

Taker’s resurrection song starts playing as the druids come out with a casket. The Casket opens and Kane comes out of it laughing!

WOW! That was impressive.

His entire life, Kane was the second brother! But now the things have changed. The Big brother is weak and Kane stepped up to take his place.

*Cue video from Raw where Taker got decimated by Nexus*

At Night Of Champions, Taker’s name will get lost into oblivion. He will only be remembered as Kane’s failure of a brother! Nothing can stop Kane’s wrath!

*GONG*

The Undertaker comes out with that horrible hooded sleeveless leather coat. I hate that as much as I hate warm icecream!

He gets in ring hell bent on getting his revenge but the lights go out and Kane disappears. The casket’s lid is now down. ZING!

Taker opens it… it is empty.

 Kane appears on the Titantron to laugh maniacally as his ringpost pyros go off.

 

THE END

 

Time for… ASK THE PHENOM!

 

This one is from The TNA Reporter: Do you think Kennedy messed up that RKO and deserved to get fired?

Well, they say that Orton got back suplexed on his neck and that was dangerous cause he had a previous collarbone injury. If that’s the case, why do I remember Orton getting powerbombed after the match by Batista. If he was already in pain after a botched suplex they could have called that one off.

I think Orton got fired for hurting his wrist after receiving an RKO from Randy.

Let’s face it, if you just come back from an injury and you upset a main star and you break your hand you will get fired. So, yeah, Kennedy deserved to be fired.

 

Now, I have a whole bunch of questions coming from a fan..

1.Why doesn’t WWE go back to WWF?

2.Why don’t they make the shows PG-13?

3.Who makes the cards for the shows?

4.Why so many rookies?

5.How did the Nexus start?

 

1.I believe the WWE lost a lawsuit and lost the copyright over the WWF. That is why they can not display these 3 letters on any official videos.

In my country they have this segment From The Vault, where they show matches from the past, and all the WWF references are blurred out.

2.It’s a marketing strategy. WWE is not wrestling anymore. It’s family entertainment and they’re making lots of money. Why change it?

3.I assume the cards are made by the WWE Creative team and the booking staff.

4.I think they realized how old their roster is becoming and they’re trying to build the stars of tomorrow.

5.It started on Raw(I believe) where the NXT Season 1 rookies went berserk and attacked John Cena. They destroyed the ring and everything around it.

 

 

All right Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it for this edition, make sure to read my next article, I am Phenom The Vampire Lord, until next time find yourself a garlic necklace… you might need it!

Discuss it on the wrestling forum

Comments

1. Comment #1

   Thanks for the heads up Ragnarok. that's exactly what i meant.
   @ Maddogz: Eddie died due to heart failure. the guy was on roids

   Posted by Phenom The Vampire Lord/Henry Fitzroy on Wednesday, September 08, 2010

2. Comment #2

   I think u meant:
   Kennedy got fired for hurting his wrist after receiving a RKO from Randy.

   Posted by Ragnarok on Monday, September 06, 2010

3. Comment #3

   lol another nice article Kennedy did deserve to get fired for being a dumb ass his backstage problems and his injuries and the SES vs Big show is getting kinda old i hope they do split them up and CM Punk can go back to chasing the world title maybe Gallows after IC title or if they bring back the HardCore or another 2nd title a shot at that

   Posted by No_CrossOver on Monday, September 06, 2010

4. Comment #4

   Well Kennedy can be the cause of Eddie and Umaga(yes he is dead) death because i watched the last match of Eddie and Eddie had won a title shot by defeating kennedy via dq as he gave him the steel chair and do the lie down hurt trick so kennedy got mad and hit him right in the skull.. u can check it out on youtube

   Posted by Maddogz on Wednesday, September 08, 2010

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