But, since the Draft took place this week I will comment on that before we start the blood fest.

Bloodless victim rant:The Draft!

The PG rating of this article prevents me from expressing my opinions in a violent way so I will just start the sentence and let you fill in the blanks. Here we go:

Dear Vincent Kennedy McMahon, we would like to say that…

Now, after we’re all feeling slightly better I should probably give my family-friendly opinion on the Draft.

Chris Jericho

He was kicked out of Raw a while back and you decide to use the “random” draft as an excuse to send him back? Plus, wasn’t he in a triple threat type of feud with Edge and Swagger?

Edge

So, after they sent Y2J to the red roster they realized they are idiots and that would end the feud way too fast and without having the returning babyface win an important match. So they sent The Rated R Superstar to Raw… Good job WWE Creative

John Morrison

On the pre-Draft Smackdown JoMo won a non-title match against Jack Swagger, so everyone was expecting to see a push for the Shaman of Sexy, but nooo, they had to shake things up by sending him to Raw. So now Raw has Orton, Cena, Batista, Sheamus, Edge, Jericho and Morrison. What does that mean? No more world title push for Johnny!

PS: they could have at least kept him in Smackdown to feud with the straightedged Mercury, but they chose not to!

R-Truth

I have no idea why they sent R-Man to Raw. In Smackdown they could have sent him after the Intercontinental Title. I hope they don’t plan on making a Truth-Morrison team again.

The Great Khali

I have no idea what they will do with him in Raw. Something tells me the WWE Creative is wondering how to use him now.

Natalya

She’s a diva; no one cares about the divas!

So that’s all we lost. Now let’s take a look at what wee won, shall we?

The Big Show

So he’s a part of Smackdown. I kinda like that, but they have to do one thing to make his matches worth watching: give back his chokeslam finisher and forget about the KO punch!

Kofi Kingston

It was about time Kofi switched brands, and he could be a pretender to Drew’s Intercontinental Championship. Thumbs up for Teddy Long

MVP

Why on earth is he back? He’s never been entertaining and I was glad he was in Raw where I couldn’t see him. Friday nights just became boring.

Christian

For some strange reason, people love this guy. I don’t know why… I think he’s slow and botchy; and all he does during a match is go for that Killswitch. One more star on the Boredom-meter.

Cody Rhodes

Come on, why him? He looks like his arms will fall off… They could have sent Ted DiBiase but they hate us.

Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendez

Divas no one cares about!

Also, the WWE website informs us that Smackdown has just signed former ECW stars Vance Archer and Tyler Reks.

I hope Reks burns in a kerosene-fueled fire while coated in cotton candy. And hopefully Archer will use that coast-to-coast again!

So, Smackdown lost some great guys and we got some nice big round lemons.

Fun Fact: during the supplemental draft JTG was drafted to Raw but they changed it. That should make us all believe the draft is random!

And now it’s time we get back to our regular program. Time for Smackdown!

The General Manager is out to introduce Kofi Kingston who will face Chris Jericho.

But before we can enjoy this match we have to listen to Chris yapping his mouth on how he was the face of Smackdown and now he will become the face of Raw. Crowd’s pretty happy Y2J is leaving…

Kofi tells him to shut up or he will do it with a Boom Boom Boom!

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Chris seems to have some pent up frustration and he’s taking it out on the poor guy.Powerbomb to Kofi as we head into COMMERCIALS.

We’re back to see Y2J still dominating the superstar from Ghana. The crowd’s getting behind Kofi who comes back with a springboard crossbody and some slaps. Trouble in Paradise fails to connect and the Walls of Jericho are locked in.Ropebreak and a Codebreaker sends him flying out of the ring. He’s dragged back in but he kicks out at 2. Kofi comes back from the dead with a TiP and he gets the 3 count.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Backstage,Jack Swagger’s trying to make the crowd hate him even more by talking about George W. Bush. Great job there champ.*cue the boos*

Shocking! 

Chris Jericho’s backstage arguing with someone we can’t see. At first I thought it was Wade Barrett, then I thought it was his mirror reflection.

Anyway, he’s saying something about him needing the other guy tonight, about needing him on Raw, but he never listened. KO punch and the Big Show makes his official Smackdown debut.

Epic Mexican Fail

It’s true, Chavo is back on Smackdown! And it feels so good to be back next to his aunt Piggie Guerrero.

FIERY FLAMES OF FLAMING HELL!

Kane chockslams Chavo then grabs the microphone and says “Welcome back, Chavo”.

Short message from Shad Gaspard:”It’s my time!”

John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes

They are trading blows, but nothing decisive until JoMo hits his leg lariat and the Standing Shooting Star Press.(I’m really going to miss that move)Out of the ring Cody hits a nice kick to the face off the steel steps right before COMMERCIALS.

Back in ring Cody hits a dropkick for a 2 count. Moonsault followed by a ground and pound for yet another 2 count. Failed knee stomp enables JoMo  to get in control of the match. Flying Chuck to his opponent’s jaw gets a 2 count. Flapjack connects but the Starship Pain does not take off. Alabama Slam gets Cody a 2. Pele kick from John who wants to throw Cody over the ropes but the Cross Rhodes end the match.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

E&C

Edge is out to say goodbye to the fans. He’s leaving his home, his show to takeover Raw. But before he leaves he wants tell the fans he loves them for being his family for so long *tear in the corner of the eye*

Christian’s music hits and he comes down to the ring with a microphone in hand so this might be interesting.

Edge wants to wish Christian good luck on his show. But Christian is a really honest guy and wants to ask Edge to stop lying. He never cared about the fans.

Edge snaps and calls himself a master puppeteer. He manipulated the WWE Universe to do whatever he wanted. 

Christian says he’s tired of Edge & Christian; he wants to see Edge vs. Christian.

Kicks and punches start flying, but Edge manages to escape from the Killswitch.

Backstage Josh Mathews is talking to Edge when Big Show comes in and Knocks Edge Out.

Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly vs. LayCool (/w Piggie Guerrero)

We don’t care!

Winners:Kelly Kelly & Beth Phoenix

Out comes Dolph Ziggler who claims putting Hornswoggle to sleep was the proudest moment of his career.

We see a video from last week, when Drew assaulted Matt Hardy. Backstage Hardy’s being interviewed by Josh… and DDTed by McIntyre.

Guess he won’t come back tonight then.

JTG is backstage and he’s saying something about… about…erm… I’ll tell you when I find out.

The Straightedge Society is out to Punk’s theme song and he cuts a promo on how he’s straightedge and he beat Rey at Extreme Rules ALL BY HIMSELF!

MVP comes out interrupting Punk and calling him and the entire SES morons. And he attacks them, and he’s getting help from Rey.

MVP & Rey Mysterio vs. Luke Gallows & CM Punk

 Rey’s getting squashed, and that’s always nice to see. Punk looks like he’s on a sugar diet or something. Mad cow splash from Gallows who continues to punish the little white man.

Rey hits the DDT and tags in MVP hust as Luke’s getting tagged in by Punk. MVP pushes Gallows on the second rope. 619 followed by a 305 give us the winners of this match.

Winners: MVP & Rey Mysterio

Afterwards Rey gets attacked by the evil mysterious man again.

Looks like we won’t have a main event tonight. Instead we’ll have the honor of hearing Jack run his mouth about his past achievements and stuff. But the crowd seems to really hate his speeches and they start booing him.

But that won’t stop our champion, who keeps on going, until Teddy Long finally shuts him up by calling out the new #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship.

The Big Show comes out and punches the champion knocking him out!

The End

Tonight’s show was ok as we had past and future stars of Smackdown performing. But the true value of Smackdown will be revealed next week when they’ll have to put on a show with what they got.

All right Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it for this edition, make sure to read my next article, I am Phenom The Vampire Lord, until next time find yourself a garlic necklace… you might need it!