Note to self: as soon as you’re able to, go to Vince and “politely” ask him to die coated in pink cotton candy.

Anyway, let’s get this blood fest started!

Tonight’s main event will include Jack Swagger and Kane in a one fall, non-title match.Hopefully They won’t make Kane the jobber of the century!

Matt Hardy’s out limping and with a really red face and he apparently has something to tell us because he just got himself a microphone.*cue video from 2 weeks ago :O followed by a video from last week*

Matt’s out to deliver his “sticks and stones may break my bones”speech but Drew comes out to interrupt him and boy does he interrupt him… This must be one of the most violent scenes in Smackdown in months!

YOU’RE SUSPENDED PLAYA’! YOU ARE STRIPPED OF THE TITLE!

YOU’RE FIRED!

Oh my god, this is freakin’ brilliant! Thank you Teddy Long.

PS: Drew looked like Sabretooth with his shirt ripped off.

Josh Mattews moment of the week

As always, Josh is right here, at the scene of the crime asking stupid questions.

Q1:What is the status of Matt Hardy?

Q2:Do you have anything to say about the behavior of Drew McIntyre?

Q3:What are your plans about the Intercontinental Title?

If those aren’t the stupidest questions ever, I don’t know which are.

MVP vs. Luke Gallows

They start off by trading punches but MVP somehow manages to get himself out of the ring. Thank god for the Detoxified Disciple who smacks him a couple of times then throws him in the ring where he smacks him some more. Very little ground work in this match. All they do is smack eachother. Ballin’ elbow drop is followed by… REY MYSTERIO attacks Punk and starts chasing him. 305 connects for the 1-2-3!

Winner:Montel Vontavious Porter

Poor Savior

Apparently Punk got rid of Rey and he’s back in ring with a microphone complaining about Rey’s coward attack.

We have a bit of time while Rey makes his appearance so I’ll ask a quick question: how come a straightedge savior can have his lip pierced?

Anyway out comes Rey who complains about the Mystery Man who has been attacking him. But that man is just in his imagination.

Rey challenges Punk to a SES spot vs. hair match at Over The Limit. Or even better: Rey willl join the Straightedge Society tonight if Punk shaves his head!

The segment ends with Rey caliming that nothing will save Punk from the 619.

Kelly Kelly and Tiffany vs. Team LayCool (/w Piggie Guerrero)

Divas… blonde hair and screaming….

Winners:Michelle McCool and Layla (/w Piggie Guerrero)

4 people will compete in a tournament tonight to find out the 2 people that will fight for the Intercontinental Championship next week on Smackdown!

Qualifying match! Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Side head locks, a couple of jumps over Dolph and a corkscrew shoulder. Dropkick and a suicide dive on Dolph. Kick to the head sends Kofi flying out of the ring. COMMERCIALS

We’re back with Dolph hitting a nice back suplex. Choke with the ropes and stomps in the corner of the ring as Cody Rhodes is watching the action from his locker room. Dropkick followed by a camel clutch from the Blonde Wonder.Standing jumping elbow drop from Ziggler. Kofi’s in a chin lock but manages to somehow reverse that into an armpit pinning Russian legsweep. A boot to the face of the South-african superstar followed by a facesmash. Chin locks fail to keep Kofi down who hits Dolph with a jawbreaker. Dual hand chops, followed by a dropkick and a leaping clothesline give Kingston the much-needed control of the match. Boom drop connects, and so does the crossbody. Sleeper Hold doesn’t keep Kingston down who grabs the ropes. Trouble in Paradise!

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Once again, WWE thinks were retards and can’t remember what happened last week s they give us another video package!

Qualifying match! Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Sneaky dodge by Cody gives him the early control of the match. A crossbody from Christian sends him to the mat though. On the second rope, Cody gets squashed with that bow&arrow-like move. Cody gets thrown out of the ring and a really low dropkick to the face sends him flying into the guard rail. A push into the steel steps makes Christian wriggle in pain. Punches and kicks back in ring. Sunset flip from Christian right before we head into COMMERCIALS.

Update regarding the garlic bread sandwich commercials: we are currently working on creating a bunch of new interesting commercials just for you. Hopefully this new advertising campaign will take off just like the others did. Thank you, and enjoy your sandwiches.

We’re back with Christian into a faceplant. SUPERPLEX! SUPERPLEX!

A dive from Christian sends both men out of the ring where Cody hits a flying chuck off the steel steps for a 2. Second rope fist drop  fails and Christian is back in the game with a missile dropkick. A drop toehold followed by that bow&arrow second rope squash. Killswitch countered into a back suplex which in turn becomes a reverse DDT. MOONSAULT from Rhodes! Christian gets up and nails Cody with the Killswitch for the win.

Winner: Christian

Graphics show us that next week we will see a match between Kofi and Christian for the Intercontinental Championship.

2 weeks ago on Raw Miz got punched in the face! Last week Edge and Jericho felt The Big Show’s wrath. And the night ended with a knocked out champion!

Yet again the show us how Drew McIntyre got “fired” earlier tonight.

PS:for those of you who did not find out about it, he got fired cause he had a honeymoon to go in.

Jack Swagger is out to once again list his wonderful accomplishments.

Main Event!Non-Title Match

Kane vs. Jack Swagger ©

Swagger starts off nice by getting his nose elbowed. Then Jack tries to go all amateur wrestling on Kane but gets dominated by the Big Red Machine.

WEEEL! The Big Show is out aswell and joins the commentary table.

Back in ring, Jack surprises kane for a second before getting slaughtered with  uppercuts  punches, kicks and low dropkicks. Forearm on Kane’s leg does nothing so Jack tries the amateur way again but gets suspended on the top rope. Obviously failed double axe handle.

Clotheslines and a sidewalk slam prepare Jack for the flying clothesline from the turnbuckle.

Chokeslam fails and Kane gets pushed into an exposed turnbuckle disqualifying Swagger.

Winner:Kane

Post match Jack’s stupid enough to pose in front of The Big Show and here cokes Kane’s boot from behind. Show chokeslams the champion through the table for a huge pop! The World’s largest athlete grabs the title and poses with it in ring while jack’s looking a bit woozy on the outside.

THE END

The show was ok overall, but I still don’t like some of the draft pics. But at least we saw a chokeslam instead of a KO punch and that’s always awesome.

PS:Big Show is so boring on commentary!

Smackdown has become a bit annoying lately so to make things more interesting, each week I will take one question from the comment section and give you MY answer. So feel free to flood me with questions!

We’ll start off with a comment made last week by 123kid who said: “I don't think Smackdown was on the loosing end at all, they've drafted people with potential for a huge push such as MVP,Kofi and Cody Rhodes, now Smackdown gives them the platform. Rey, Punk and Big Show will take control until that happens.”

Well, kid you are totally right, Smackdown got some fresh blood and they do have potential for a push, but I always felt like Christian is great just because he did those crazy things back in the Attitude Era. And Although MVP has mic skills, his moveset bores me to death. Cody is ok but I wish we had received DiBiase… and MAYBE keep John Morrison and send him after the world title.

I assume all the big stars were sent to Raw because they were afraid of TNA (I know the ratings difference was huge but that’s what I think) and now that TNA is moving to Thursdays we should definitely have a trade of some sort where we get back one or 2 stars from Raw.

All right Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it for this edition, make sure to read my next article, I am Phenom The Vampire Lord, until next time find yourself a garlic necklace… you might need it!

PS: Congratulations to Johnny Blaze who just became an official publisher, and congrats to all the other guys that got hired to please you with show reports or personal opinion articles